Adopting a child: the procedure to follow to make a dream come true
There are more and more couples who want to adopt a child: mothers and fathers ready to expand their family, however, are always tormented by a thousand questions. Who should the request be sent to? What are the deadlines to obtain adoption? What requirements must be met? What costs must be incurred? To clarify, we have answered the most common questions. Before continuing, watch this "parents and guilt" themed video.
Be convinced and prepared before adopting a child
Have you made the decision in the couple to adopt a child? Well, first of all it is important to be on the same wavelength, to share the same thoughts and then to be really convinced and prepared. What is often underestimated, is that becoming parents of an adopted child does not mean finding a plan B. possible fertility problems, but it is the way to guarantee a family to a child who has the right to be welcomed and loved. For all these reasons it is essential that there is a correct approach to the adoptive path by the couple, which allows the growth avoiding future problems.
If you choose the path of adoption, therefore, you must be ready to welcome, physically and mentally, a boy or girl with their stories, their character and everything related to them in order to have a second chance at life. it speaks precisely of the culture of adoption, that is the study of all the risks that we will mention in the next paragraph and the full awareness that the time may come to face them. To ask for help, simply contact an ASL / ASST desk in your city, which will be able to offer support to the couple by expert operators, psychologists and social workers specifically trained in adoptive issues.
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Adopting a child: the risks and problems to be faced
It is essential that future adoptive parents are prepared for a whole series of problems that adoption inevitably brings with it. Here are some of them:
- legal risk - the real possibility that the adoption will fail, for one reason or another;
- the wounds caused by the state of abandonment - it will not be easy for the first time to interface with the adopted child because often they are children who have deep inner wounds due to everything they have had to suffer;
- telling the story to the child - for all parents with adopted children it is time to explain to the child the story of his or her adoption;
- school and learning difficulties - every child eligible for adoption has a difficult past and certainly will not have had the opportunity to keep up with their studies;
- the search for one's origins - this is the aspect that puts future parents in more crisis, as after the adoption there is the fear that the child in the future may take an interest in his origins and abandon the adoptive family.
National adoption to adopt a child on the Italian territory
Parents who will be well informed before proceeding with the procedures for adoption, are well aware that there are two types: national adoption and international adoption. How to choose? The advice is to present both questions.
National adoption is the adoption of a child within the Italian territory. Generally these are children who have not been recognized by their natural parents or have been removed from their families of origin and entrusted to appropriate structures (institutes or family homes ). Everything starts from an evaluation by the Juvenile Court which decides to issue a "Declaration of adoptability", after having conducted studies on the permanent difficulties of the families of origin. adoption.
Advantages and disadvantages of national adoption For national adoption, the time needed to adopt is rather short, from the moment the application is presented, it can take 12-14 months. However, the number of adoptable children is very low and many families risk not being called. Furthermore, "national adoption must always deal with the legal risk, that is the possibility that the child must return to the family of origin. Finally, in favor of" national adoption, there is "inclusion in school that can be facilitated due to the more or less good knowledge of the Italian language.
International adoption: advantages and disadvantages
International adoption is the adoption of a foreign child according to the rules and laws in force in its territory of origin. The road to adopting a foreign child is longer and more complex, but in some respects richer in experiences and sensations. First of all, it allows children from other countries to be welcomed into their family, immediately confronting culture, language and traditions completely different.
For international adoption, the time needed to adopt is generally long, even up to 3 years from the moment the application is submitted. One of the main advantages is that
the foreign child who enters Italy is not subjected to legal risk, that is, he will not be able to return to his family of origin and will not be "requested" by any relatives.
However, there is a disadvantage: it is more exposed to health risks, and it is important that the adoptive couple is fully aware of this. Furthermore, the insertion in school of children adopted abroad can become very difficult due to the language and of the new Italian socio-cultural context.
What declaration to submit to adopt a child?
Having clarified the main differences between national and international adoption, here are the reasons for submitting both declarations of availability. Couples who decide to file only one of the two questions are in some way discriminating against the other and probably still need to question themselves, reaching a maturity of the couple that is not yet complete.
If you have submitted documents for national adoption only or for international adoption only, you can still change your availability. Contact the social services, whose role will be decisive: they will have the task of understanding if a maturation has occurred in the couple capable of correctly supporting this new path.
Adopting a child: the necessary steps to make adoption a reality
1 - Submit the application for adoption
Specifically, the declaration of readiness for adoption must be presented to the civil registry office of the Juvenile Court present in one's city or province. It is a question of a simple availability and not a right to "have a child".
2 - Verification of requirements
Each couple must meet specific requirements to be able to adopt. Here are which ones:
- regularly married for at least 3 years
- no separation in progress
- at least 18 years older than the age of the children (no more than 45 years of difference)
- make themselves available for investigations by local services
3 - Investigations of local services
At this point, the Territorial Bodies will have the task of knowing the couple and evaluating their parenting potential. They will collect information on the personal history of the father and mother, the attitude to educate the child, the personal and economic situation, health, family environment; the reasons why they wish to adopt; the possibility of peaceful coexistence, taking into account the personality of both the parents and the minor. A psycho-social report will be drawn up regarding the spouses, in which it will be clearly written:
- the individual history of each of the spouses, in particular information on the family of origin, school career, work context, critical events in their lives;
- the history of the couple: the moment in which the spouses met, marriage, life together, relationships with extended families, their respective roles within the couple, cultural and social interests, the characteristics of the relationship with any children, critical events, any sterility;
- the current organization of family life;
- the attitudes of the couple towards adoption: who had the idea for the first time, what information did they receive and from whom, the knowledge of other adoptive families, the reasons for the adoptive choice, expectations and preferences, any differences of opinion, the resources they believe they possess;
- the attitudes of family members, cohabiting and non-cohabiting, towards adoption;
- the predictions of the couple's adaptation to the event: how the spouses plan to deal with changes in family organization, the revelation to the child of the status of an adopted child, biological and ethnic differences, the reactions of the extended family and the community of membership, etc. (source The Roots and the Wings)
4 - The waiting
Probably the most difficult time for all couples of future adoptive parents. The declaration is valid for three years from the date of presentation. If you have not been called within this period, the declaration is no longer taken into consideration and the entire procedure must be repeated.
5 - The child's arrival at home (for national adoption)
In the first period there will be the provisional placement of the child in the new parents' home. Only in a second moment will the adoption become definitive and the child will in effect be a member of the new family.
For intercountry adoption, on the other hand, after waiting, there will be the stage relating to the decree of suitability: the Court summons the spouses and can, if it deems appropriate, arrange for further information. At this point the judge decides whether to issue a decree of suitability or whether to issue a decree certifying the lack of the requisites for adoption. The couple in possession of the suitability decree must begin the adoption procedure within 1 year of its issue. international, being followed by specialized agencies. At this point, a series of meetings between family and child will follow in the country of origin where he is. If all goes well, the child will be able to receive authorization to enter Italy and will finally be able to become part of the family. Also in this case there will be a period of pre-adoption fostering to then finalize the adoption.
The costs of adopting a child
There are costs involved in adopting a child and they are highly variable. As far as national adoption is concerned, since it is the community that bears the expense necessary to support the minor until it is declared adoptable, the costs are quite low.
For international adoption, on the other hand, there are expenses related to the association or the other private entity that accompanies the parents on their journey. The costs are around several thousand euros, but can vary significantly.
Adopting a child at a distance
Finally, there is another way to adopt a child, that is, distance adoption. It is a completely different choice from the other two views in this article, which provides, with the help of an Italian or international association, to economically and continuously support underage children who remain to live in their country of origin with their family. biological.
Those who dedicate themselves to embarking on the path of long-distance adoptions will receive continuous updates on the state of health of the adopted child, on his or her academic progress, on the possible insertion into the world of work, once the course of study is completed.
In some cases there is also the possibility of physically meeting the child, always bearing in mind that distance adoption does not aim to give the child a family (which in most cases is already present, but in difficulty) , but aims at sustenance and support from an economic point of view.
