THE EROTIC FANTASY OF RAPE

Rape, a shocking fantasy

Making love with a man who is not your partner or with a woman, with many men or in unusual places ... now we no longer hesitate to talk freely about these erotic fantasies with our friends and even with our partner. There is, however, one fantasy that remains taboo: the rape fantasy. Women who harbor this fantasy often feel ashamed and feel guilty. When they dare to talk about it, they receive misunderstanding, if not contempt: how can one wish for this crime of which thousands of women are victims every year?

Before judging or breaking down, we must instead understand and accept all aspects of the erotic imagination of each of us, which can be very complex.

Having erotic fantasies does not mean wanting to fulfill them

In life we sometimes dream of strangling someone, but we don't really do it for this! Similarly, erotic fantasies are escape valves and are part of a part of the imagination that we cannot control. Fantasies are not "good" or "bad", but they are means to better understand oneself and one's unconscious and be able to behave accordingly. In practice, a woman who has this erotic fantasy does not at all desire rape (which the mind represents in an erotic and non-violent way), on the contrary, she is horrified by it.

How can this fantasy be explained?

Psychologists, psychoanalysts, and other experts who have analyzed the rape fantasy have come up with three main explanations:

- Free yourself: often sexuality is still accompanied by a feeling of guilt, conscious or not. A woman who imagines herself as the victim of a forced sexual act no longer feels guilty about the pleasure she experienced.

- Feeling irresistible: the woman imagines being forced to have sexual relations with a man who finds her so irresistible that she cannot control her instincts.

- Take the power: according to sexologist Sophie Cadalen "The sexual encounter is an unconscious struggle. A very pleasant fight in which our desires confront each other, in which the two partners oscillate between abandonment and taking power ". In the rape fantasy, the desire for submission and the desire for domination coexist, thus allowing one to manage the desire and role of each of the two partners.

Did you know that ...

In 2005, a man joined an Internet forum pretending to be a woman with a fantasy of rape. His aim was to find men who were willing to participate in the realization of this fantasy to send them to a neighbor who was unaware of everything and photograph the rape! Fortunately, the man was discovered before he could carry out his Machiavellian plan ...

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