Friend of your ex? How to not lose it forever
When we lose a great love, it seems impossible for us to have to give up that person, but at the same time impossible to learn to be friends with him. Yet over time this goal is not unattainable and if you sincerely commit yourself in this direction, then the possibility exists: you can be friends with your ex. Like? Let's start from the base, look:
1. The detachment
You cannot have a friendship relationship if there is no equal exchange, so if in the relationship one of the two still has a strong feeling, it will be more than necessary to establish limits. Detachment is essential at the end of a relationship, to ensure that the habitual ways of interacting change. It hurts to suffer and impose it, but this transition phase is inevitable.
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2. Respect
To be friends it is essential not only to have overcome the idea that the person is "our person", to quote Gray "s Anatomy, but also to know how to respect life, new choices and any new companions of our ex. Respecting the new spaces and the new boundaries of the relationship is fundamental. The bond between two ex will always be stronger and more visceral than traditional friendship, but this does not legitimize us to make claims on the life of others. We could not act in a worse direction.
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3. Authenticity
Pretending will only lead to catastrophes. We cannot pretend to feel affection if what moves us is loving involvement. Being authentic is the challenge. Admitting that you are not ready, feeling that you are and not lying, these are the necessary steps for building a new bond. Lying, and worse lying, will only lead to uncomfortable circumstances in which you will find yourself making jealous scenes in public and appearing pathetic.
4. Move on
Continuing in your own direction is important. Building new realities where your ex isn't the backbone helps you figure out where to reposition yourself and him too. When can it be a true friendship? It can be true when there is someone important enough in your life to take the place you assigned your ex (this someone you can be yourself). Stopping in the past will only create a "friendship aimed at making up for the breakup. Having not just" any alternative, but THE "alternative, will change your perspective.
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In the name of true friendship, a few sentences to share for you friends of AlFemminile!
