Separated at home: how to make coexistence possible under the same roof
If separating is a difficult choice, which requires firmness and determination as well as a good ability to adapt, separating at home is even more complex. Of course, the situation has advantages but also numerous disadvantages, first of all not being able to really rebuild a life and remain tied for years to a situation that does not actually exist. Friendships also play a particular and decisive role in every type of separation. Having one or more friends with whom to share pain and tears and above all with whom to distract yourself and find a smile is essential to move forward quickly and free yourself from the memory of the other!
Separating: when it is essential
When a couple realizes that they no longer have a shared project, when the partner is practically a stranger, when they have tried and tried but it just doesn't work out or even worse when there is another one, on one side or the other. Putting an end to it is never easy: and this is why the separation phase is often very painful both for the spouse who takes the initiative and for the other who actually undergoes it.
Usually, everyone takes their own path and within months or a few years, excluding the numerous cases of backfire, you can always obtain the annulment of the religious rite of marriage or you end up in front of the judge to sign a divorce. And many greetings.
If you stay in the same house, however, the separation becomes slower, this means longer times for decisions which is just another way of saying longer times for recovery.Everything is slower, almost stagnant! Behind this decision there may be problems of different kinds, from economic or organizational ones, for which neither partner has the opportunity to find (and pay for) a new accommodation or “emotional” problems linked to the presence of very young children. Another very current cause is isolation at home due to the Coronavirus which prevented many couples in crisis from taking different paths in March, forcing them to share the same environments again often against their will.
Breaking up is painful but a normal phenomenon, it happens to many couples ... such as those VIPs!
See also: The vip couples that broke out during 2019: the loves we had to say goodbye to
© Getty Images The vip couples that broke out in 2019Parting at home: all you need to know
Separation at home is a compromise that two spouses come down to who do not want to leave the marital home. At the time of the Coronavirus, there are many couples in crisis before the March lockdown who practically found themselves separated at home facing quarantine. Usually one of the two moves on the sofa or in the guest room. There are not rare cases in which you continue to share the Latvian obviously paying attention to respect your own spaces and avoid any touch. You become strangers but remain familiar and known. This can cause some confusion and difficulty in adapting. You also become kinder, precisely because they are incredibly distant but also too close. In front of the children initially nothing seems to change, but soon they will notice the distance between the parents and will ask questions, requests for proximity. Parents usually organize themselves in shifts, outings, dinners, commitments: some couples who are separated at home even rediscover the passion, finding a new way to transgress and break the apparent new balance they have built.
© GettyImages-1146688804Separation at home: legal aspects
The choice to stay in the same house when separated is a right and does not affect the time required to obtain a short divorce because it does not affect the legal aspects in any way. A couple who legally separates can continue if they wish or consider it somehow necessary to live under the same roof. He will have to pay 16 euros to the Municipality of residence, by consulting the registrar. This simplified procedure can only be used if there are no minor children or adult children with handicaps or severe disabilities in the house. The law of our country provides that in the case of children or dependent children, the couple must always be followed by a lawyer.
Separate at home: the advantages
Separation at home has significant advantages from both an economic and bureaucratic point of view. He divides the rent and all household expenses, from bills to taxes, often dreaming of an autonomy that in fact cannot be afforded and that forces us to live in a compromise. Another advantage of this atypical form of coexistence is of a relational and psychological nature, especially if the couple has small children and does not want to create traumas for them with their personal crisis.
© GettyImages
Separated in the house: the disadvantages
Inevitably, continuing to live in the same house after having sanctioned the end of a relationship also has numerous disadvantages. This is because couples who break up often have problems communicating and relating, this means many quarrels and misunderstandings, disagreement on every aspect of life and in short, a coexistence that is not exactly peaceful and serene, without considering that these conflicts of being together but from separated it is often the children who pay the price. Another disadvantage is the lack of freedom, one is less predisposed to create new relationships, to feel a new person and are definitely inclined to control, even if the love is over the other person continues to belong to us in a way that it is often unhealthy or balanced. Jealousy is unmotivated but present in many cases, from checking the cell phone to inspecting the partner's agenda. Moving on is more difficult if you continue to live in the same house, with the same habits. The laws provide for it, but will you really be capable of it?
How it works: the rules
However, if both spouses are determined and motivated and staying in the same house is no excuse not to
facing reality, things can also work as long as you create rules of coexistence and obviously respect them. The first rule is to accept the situation, the story is over and nothing in the house will be the same again. From the moment in which we part, life together is over, as far as marriage is concerned. For the sake of the children, we will always remain a family, if we manage to create harmony within the home. In this case it is even more important for each partner to focus on himself, creating new relationships and new opportunities. Another rule is to do an examination of conscience, no one is totally right or completely wrong. Accepting that faults are shared in a failed marriage is the first step to finding a new and civil harmony and leaving anger outside the front door.