Selective mutism in children: everything you need to know about this disorder
Selective mutism is a disorder that mainly affects children and is characterized by the "inability to speak in certain social situations, so much so that it can be related to a type of" social anxiety. "Selective mutism affects a child who has generally already developed the language and understanding of the same, but which - despite this - does not speak when it is in specific social contexts.
This disorder is not due to a dysfunction or a problem in the child's organism, but is caused by a state of social anxiety that leads him not to speak when he is away from home or in the presence of strangers. The child who suffers from mutism selective does not speak above all in those social contexts that can cause him greater relationship difficulties, such as school or kindergarten, while when he is in familiar situations (at home with his parents, for example) he has no problems expressing himself and, indeed , in some cases he can even be a talker!
Selective mutism is not a well-known disorder because, in fact, it affects a rather low percentage of children, estimated at around 7 children out of 1000. Statistically, it affects girls more than boys and occurs around the age of 4, when the children usually start attending kindergarten, distancing themselves from their parents.
Selective mutism is not a cognitive behavioral disorder because it can affect children with very different cognitive abilities: despite this, however, it is frequently associated with other language problems. According to further data offered by the "Italian Association of Selective Mutism, which performs an" important function of dissemination and support for families in which there are children with this type of disorder, selective mutism is more frequent in children living in socially isolated families, bilingual, from ethnic minorities or where there are other members of the family who suffer from social anxiety or relationship difficulties. Let's explore together the causes that can lead to selective mutism, how to diagnose it and how to behave as parents to help your child.
What are the causes of selective mutism and how to diagnose it
The causes of selective mutism are not easy to identify, but must always be linked to psychological and emotional reasons that generate a state of social anxiety in the child. Also according to the Italian Selective Mutism Association, the beliefs that the child suffering from this disorder has suffered a strong trauma (violence or abandonment) or that it is an oppositional, angry or manipulative subject must be refuted.
Diagnosing selective mutism in a child is not easy, because the symptoms of this disorder can often be confused with simple shyness. We speak of selective mutism, in general, if the child does not speak in certain social situations (in meeting places such as school), while in contexts where he is at ease (such as at home with his parents) he speaks without problems. Additional diagnostic criteria are as follows: the child has not spoken for at least a month, has no other communication problems (such as stuttering) or mental disorders (such as a delay or autism or schizophrenia) and his inability to speak prevents him from relating to others in social contexts.
Usually children suffering from selective mutism communicate with gestures or by emitting monosyllabic or short sounds or by alternating the voice or by reproducing, at times, animal sounds. Other symptoms present may be difficulty in maintaining eye contact, physical stiffness and an expressionless face.
We must be very careful not to underestimate the problem by minimizing it, in the belief that it is - in fact - the child's simple shyness. The risk is that both parents and teachers do not give importance to this kind of behavior, thus leading the disorder to consolidate and become more reluctant to any type of treatment. Likewise, it is a very big mistake to consider dumbness as a kind of whim that must be punished or, if the child speaks, rewarded: this system only further weakens the child's self-esteem.
If your child, therefore, shows the symptoms we have reported, immediately seek a specialist who can diagnose the disorder to begin treatment as soon as possible, avoiding the child living for a long time in a similar condition of social anxiety and psychological distress.
What can parents do?
What should parents do if they notice that their child has selective mutism? First of all, it is very important that they never force him to speak, both at home and in social settings. To try to make him talk, it is good that they alleviate the state of anxiety by creating a relaxed and reassuring atmosphere: therefore threats or punishments are banned, as well as rewards used as blackmail or teasing. The disorder should not be used as a a "weapon, nor should it ever be ridiculed. If you can indirectly reassure the child, making him feel less anxiety, it will be easier for him to pass spontaneously to the word!
Parents must show trust in their child: if they make him understand that they know he can do it, they will help him to strengthen himself, without however pressing him with their expectations, simply by showing themselves calm and, in fact, confident. If by any chance he starts talking, at home or with strangers, he must not show wonder and cheer: act as if it were completely normal.
It will be important, then, to explain to him his own ailment, helping him to understand his difficulty in simple words, so that he can understand it and feel reassured. Tell him that you love him and that you will help him, this will decrease his anxiety and give him so much more strength!
In order to overcome social anxiety, parents will have to use a little creativity, making sure that he has fun even in the most stressful situations, that he feels stimulated. A little at a time it will be necessary to help him become independent and give him small opportunities to experience the relationship with others: for example, inviting a friend to play with him at home could be helpful because the place will be reassuring for him. there will be more chances for him to open up to the other.
Finally, it is essential to create a fruitful collaboration with teachers, who must be informed of the problem. It will be equally important to get help from a specialist, who can follow the child with the right treatment.The Italian Selective Mutism Association will be of great help in finding a therapist specialized in this disorder near your home: on the site you will find the necessary information and contacts to help you.
For more information on the subject, you can consult the website of the Italian Selective Mutism Association.
