10 things I try to say to my daughters every day
curated by Manuela Cervetti
The premise is that I strive, every day, to try to be a good mom but I don't always succeed. The variables are many and common I believe to many parents: tiredness, work, too many thoughts, things not done that instead I had to do, forgotten things, unexpected discussions, bad mood and bad weather (yes, I'm also meteoropathic).
So the following are basically notes of an evolving mother, things I learned thanks to my two daughters, phrases that emerge from my memories as a child, words that I would like someone to address to me, declarations of love from a mother to her children.
Every day, here are the 10 things I try to say to my daughters, sometimes with more success and sometimes less, but always with the strong belief that they are all important for their growth and for the relationship I want to build with them.
See also
1. I'll tell you about my day
I learned that this is an excellent technique to stimulate my daughters to tell me about their days. If I start with the classic question How did it go today? the answers are always quite concise: all right mom, all right, nothing special, yes normal, as usual. So I started to tell my day first, what I did and who I saw, maybe that funny anecdote that happened to me and they, in addition to listening with curiosity, then let themselves go with their stories more easily.
2. I missed you and thought about you when I was doing this and that
Education in feelings, emotions, is one of the main gifts we can give to our children. But as in so many other things, the best way to educate them is to set a good example by talking about our feelings. So I remind them that I often miss them during the day and I try to contextualize the moments in which I miss them so as to make them more concrete.
3. It is normal to be angry or sad but if we talk about it you may feel better later
This is a phrase that I often repeat, I want to make my daughters understand - especially now that they are still small - that they can always confide in me and especially when they feel hurt, disappointed, angry. Problems, if shared, seem smaller and more surmountable, I want them to remember it for life!
4. You did this really well, congratulations!
I learned that parents have to dose compliments to their children and above all contextualize them. So instead of gods Good! too generic, it is more effective a Brava, you did this really well! Supporting the self-esteem of our children is a very important task, too much praise without real reasons makes us insecure, a compliment linked to a specific action or context instead helps our child to increase the esteem he has of himself.
5. If you want I will listen to you
It's like leaving a door open all the time, giving them the chance to walk through it and find a safe haven. I am here, if you want I will listen to you. Even now, as an adult, it is one of the most beautiful things that the people around me can tell me.
6. Thank you, please, please
It seems trivial but it is not. We are their example, the model they look to. If we are not the first to use kind words and good manners, it is really unthinkable that we will be able to demand it from them.
7. “Nobody is born learned”, if you commit yourself and you try you will see that you will learn to do what you cannot do now
This is another fundamental concept to support the self-esteem of our children. Nobody is able to do things well that they have never done, everyone has to commit, try and learn how to do something. With commitment and tenacity, goals are achieved. And we parents also learn and try to do new things every day, this is also a good example for them.
8. I'm wrong too and I beg your pardon
Let's tell them, that we are also wrong, that we are not perfect. And when it happens, we apologize.We teach them that one cannot be perfect, irreplaceable, flawless. We teach that we are not superheroes but that we strive for them every day to be the best parents possible.
9. I am happy to be your mom
I often say this to my girls, yes, I am convinced that it is one of those phrases that are really good for the heart. To mine and theirs.
10. I love you, always and in any case
That "always and in any case" is the most important part of this declaration of love. Two more simple words, but which I try never to forget.
