Loneliness: how to learn to live better even if you are alone
Loneliness is a fairly common condition that we all experience throughout our life. Some people, however, are afraid of being alone with themselves and, to overcome isolation, they take refuge in the company of others, even when this is harmful. Loneliness, however, is not always negative: alone we can relax, let us go and get in touch with our soul.
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Being alone can be nice
Being alone, immersed in the silence of our thoughts, without the presence of anyone else: for many, loneliness is a condition from which to escape as soon as possible, filling their lives with a thousand social relationships so as not to feel the emptiness within themselves. Learning to feel good even alone is, however, the first step to feel good with others, because only those who have the ability to be self-sufficient can love without depending on another person.
Loneliness can be a great enriching experience for our life and being alone shouldn't scare us: taking a solo trip, for example, is a great way to test yourself and overcome difficulties on your own. Creating bonds is essential, as long as you are able to cultivate your autonomy, otherwise, when we happen to have to be alone with ourselves, we will feel lost.
However, too much loneliness is not good for us. In a study conducted by researchers Stephanie and John Cacioppo of the University of Chicago it was highlighted how people who stayed too long without having meaningful relationships with others, then developed a sort of fear towards people. The right balance between some moments of solitude and a life full of social interactions is the ideal condition for human beings.
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Loneliness and the role of social networks
Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and the various social networks often sharpen the sense of loneliness in people; while for some social media are a means to feel less alone, for others the only virtual closeness and the impossibility of developing a relationship in the flesh, become an unbridgeable distance that separates them from others. Here are some tips to not feel alone even when no one is really there with us.
- Use the moments of solitude to reflect on yourself
- Doing something creative and fulfilling that makes us grow as a person
- Planning our future. Take advantage of the moments of solitude to focus on the beautiful things that tomorrow will bring
- Enjoying a walk in the open air
- Cultivating our hobbies
A few phrases about loneliness to find the ability to feel good about ourselves
"Loneliness is independence [...] it was cold, yes, but it was also silent, wonderfully silent and as big as the cold and silent space in which the stars revolve". Hermann Hesse
"Where are the men?" then resumed the little prince. "It is a bit lonely in the desert ...". “We are alone even among men” said the snake. ”Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
"I had three chairs in my house; one for solitude, two for friendship and three for company." Henry David Thoreau
"We've forgotten what it's like to look at each other, touch each other, have a real relationship life, care for each other. It's no surprise we're all dying of loneliness." Leo Buscaglia
"Loneliness is not living alone, loneliness is not being able to keep company with someone or something inside of us". José Saramago
"The secret of a good old age is nothing more than an honest pact with loneliness". Gabriel Garcia Marquez
"Those who do not love solitude do not love freedom either, because they are free only when they are alone". Arthur Schopenhauer
"The whole problem of life is this: how to break one's loneliness, how to communicate with others". Cesare Pavese
"Loneliness gives birth to the original that is in us". Thomas Mann
"Loneliness is a source of healing for me that makes my life worth living. Talking is often a torment for me and I need many days of silence to recover from the futility of words." Carl Gustav Jung
"The real, devastating loneliness is not of one who is alone alone with himself, but of one who is two and despair of being able to be alone again". Aldo Busi
