Losing your virginity: everything you need to know

Losing virginity: what does it mean?

Technically, a woman is still a virgin when her hymen, the elastic membrane at the entrance to the vagina, is still intact. During the first sexual intercourse, and therefore during penetration, the man introduces the penis into the vagina and breaks the hymen, sometimes causing slight bleeding. This is what is commonly called the loss of virginity.
There are many clichés and legends about this important stage, so it is important to clarify some things: you cannot lose your virginity by riding a horse, for example. On the contrary, the practice of sports such as dance or horse riding can make the hymen more elastic, facilitating the first penetration and making it less painful. In any case, the important thing is to relax and prepare yourself mentally, because making love, in reality, is very good !!

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Although we can physically make love with anyone, it is still true that when we do it for the first time, the ideal is to be at ease, calm, with someone beside us who shares the importance of that moment with us. In short, even if it is not a law, losing your virginity with a loved one is the ideal. Because love makes the first time indelible, even if we don't know why.

The ideal age to lose virginity

The transition to adolescence marks the moment in which girls and boys are considered sexually mature, therefore from the average age of 12-13, but this does not mean anything. The transition to sexual maturity does not imply being ready, feeling ready, especially at that young age. On average, teens today have sex at a very young age, but there are people who choose to go virgins in marriage. The truth is that there is no rule for these things, there is no "right" age for the first time, it depends on your physical and psychological maturity, and of course on the context you are experiencing at that moment.

How to know if you are ready to lose your virginity

First of all, you have to really want it. You have to be sure that your sexuality and your desires are mature enough to be able to accept them completely. With adolescence, the body is transformed, gradually takes on an adult morphology and the libido awakens. We discover how to get pleasure from masturbation and how to gratify ourselves independently. We therefore reach relative physical maturity but, for the moment. , the relationship with sexuality remains isolated and tied to the field of imagination. The question to ask is: Am I psychologically ready to reveal my intimacy and share my pleasure with a man? Sometimes, the body develops faster than the head , but to take action, you must both feel adequate.

© istock.

The right situation to lose virginity

By the time you feel physically and psychologically ready, you have probably already found the right person. You will have to like him and inspire confidence enough to make you want to make love with him. The context also matters. You must be able to feel absolutely comfortable with him, safe. Especially the first time: if you are tense, the Vaginal muscles will contract and penetration will be painful. Wait until you meet a guy you are fine with before taking this step, even though it may seem frustrating to wait. Frustration is part of life and it also ignites sensuality!

Some wait to actually be in love before losing their virginity. And they are right: it is an essential stage in a woman's life, which absolutely must not be wasted. This first experience is crucial to your future sex life. Why risk living it badly? Give yourself time, there is no rush: everything will arrive at the right time.

Others choose a more experienced guy, who attracts them, but who they are not in love with. They just want to get rid of what they consider a burden so their sex life can evolve. But if they are sure of their choice and don't make love just because everyone is doing it, then their behavior isn't that bad.

In both cases, the most important thing is to feel ready, and play down: the first time is never sensational, but opens the way to the following, much more pleasant!
We leave you some suggestions to make love, over time, more and more pleasant


See also: The 40 best Kamasutra positions to reach orgasm (her!)

© iStock The female orgasm in 40 positions

The indispensable precautions

No matter your age, if you decide to lose your virginity, you absolutely must talk to someone with an expert such as a parent, an older friend or, if you want to be safe and calm, consult a gynecologist to get him to prescribe adequate contraception. Don't forget to use a condom either: it is the only effective protection against sexually transmitted diseases, it also prevents benign infections and is really essential (buy them on Amazon)! In short, it is ok to feel ready and happy, but even if the heart is ready to turn up, it is good to take risks into consideration. For the rest, it will all be magnificent!

Does losing virginity hurt?

Not necessarily. And above all, it is not the rupture of the hymen that hurts. The real reason is that the more stressed you are, the more tense your muscles are, making penetration more difficult and causing some pain or a little burning, due to the fact that the vagina is not sufficiently lubricated. So the important thing is to relax and prepare yourself mentally, because making love is actually very good !!
If you find it necessary, use a special lubricant!

Where to do it for the first time?

Making love in the car or in the room, with the fear that the parents will come home at any moment, is not the best as the first time. It would be better to find a quiet place, where you can relax and pamper yourself properly. The goal is to have a pleasant time with your partner, without expecting too much from this first time, which is just a taste of what it means to make love and take pleasure in making love. To reach orgasm, you need to get to know each other well and get to know your body well.

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