People don't change: understanding this allows you to avoid disappointment
Sometimes two people think they know each other but then one turns out to be different. Hoping that your partner changes, for love or just for us, can turn out to be a failure. It is different when, on the other hand, one learns to know and accept the respective differences. If you are experiencing a couple crisis, try to overcome it, do not lock yourself in waiting for a change of partner but rather watch this video and get to work to recover your story!
People don't change: are you sure you know who you are next to?
You will have happened to retrace your steps even after making a decision that put an end to a relationship, of "love as of" friendship. You believed it, you tried it one more time and in the end you repeated the classic phrase to yourself, people don't change. Yet there are cases where people change, but they are rare. People change when they realize they have made a mistake and are doing their own harm even before that of those around them.
When can you say you really know a person? Getting to know each other takes time, sometimes time shows us sides of the character of those around us that we would never have imagined. In relationships between people it is necessary to deepen for a long time to say that you know each other. If we are with a person who repeatedly promises us to change over time, or it is we who on our own initiative wait for the other to change, well maybe the time has come to look reality in the eye and accept this strong and intense truth, people they do not change. ”Those who change, just do it, do not promise repeatedly and then do not keep.
What if you were the person who needed to change? If your partner, family member or friend is there waiting for your change? Probably in this case you see everything clearer: maybe you don't even think about changing or you are trying but you realize that certain habits are difficult to change: in short, changing is not easy at all!
When it comes to changes: do people not change or do they?
When it comes to people changing, there are three different possible cases. The first is when a person finally reveals himself for what he is: we thought we knew him but then it wasn't like that at all, and so it turned out all together. Or we talk about change when you yourself want to make a personal change in this case you ask yourself if you will be able to change, and if you clearly want it the answer will be yes! Finally, the third case is that of those who hope that someone they love changes, because they are suffering so much: in this case the path is all uphill and it will probably prove very disappointing to believe that this happens. An important starting point when it comes to people and changes is undoubtedly this:
people can change if they want! If you think about it, we all change, we adapt and choose what we want day by day. So those who really want to change will do it, those who are not convinced they want to change and just want to take time and continue to make promises, will not change today or ever.
Being objective and looking at reality with awareness is essential in order not to be influenced by desires and illusions.
People don't change: so not even for love?
Sometimes it is said that love is blind. This also means that when you love it is difficult to see the truth, you always end up believing in your loved one, even you feel guilty for the mere fact of having doubts .If your story is going through a difficult time, if you are waiting for the person you love to change, you must understand that the wait could be very long. You must absolutely evaluate in an objective way what is happening to your relationship: do not idealize it. "loved or loved", do not believe in everything always and in any case. Observe the behaviors and give more credit to the facts and not to the words: it is often easier to tell lies for a lifetime than to look at those next to you in the right way to understand the his true personality. Do not underestimate the aspects of your partner, do not think only about how he behaves with you, but how he behaves in his life, in every respect. If a person with everything and everyone behaves in a given way, that you like it, do not believe that it matters the story will be different: it can pretend for a long time but then it will reveal itself for what it really is. As we have already said, change is possible but only if those who have to change really want to change . And even when you want to change, you have to keep in mind that it is not immediate to do so and that change is always a gradual process.
If you feel that you cannot get out of this couple crisis, if you believe that waiting for this change is ruining your self-esteem, do not hesitate to undertake a couple therapy: a professional will be able to direct you towards the truth!
People don't change: but would it really be right to change?
If the person with whom we are in a relationship has told us that it will change for us it can happen that we find ourselves waiting for the change. We wait and we are looking at small clues: in reality we are just wasting time we have built a small cage inside which we do not move and we do not grow either as a couple or individually.
Change is personal, already the fact that a person promises to change for you is a good way to believe that he will not: maybe he loves you, but as you have learned by now, loving is not always enough to make everything go as it should. However, if the person next to you is convinced of changing, for her and for you, consider the possibility of having a confrontation with a psychotherapist who will be able to guide you by the hand in this difficult path.
You probably can't wait for your love to change, but first stop and think for a moment. Are you really sure it's okay to change for love? Those who change must do it for themselves and only later will they be able to benefit from the positive effects that the change will have on all spheres of their life. Questioning is always a first step but we must not change for someone else even if this someone is the man or woman of our life!
