ETIQUETTE: 15 RULES ON HOW TO BEHAVE AT THE TABLE - LIFESTYLE

Etiquette: 10 rules on how to behave at the table

The term "etiquette" indicates all the rules of behavior and good manners that should be followed in various public situations, from the most special events, for example a wedding or a gala party, to the most intimate and common ones, such as a dinner. between friends or family. Of all the established rules, the ones that are usually paid more attention to are the good manners to keep at the table. By them, we mean both the rules in force for its preparation and the etiquette provided while the meal is being consumed.

The origin of the word "etiquette" dates back to the work written by Giovanni Della Casa, published posthumously in 1558 and entitled, in fact, Ethics overo de ’customs. The term derives from Galeazzo Florimonte, whose Latin name coincides with Galatheus. He was the bishop of the diocese of Sessa Aurunca and inspired Monsignor Della Casa for his treatise, the first specific on the subject. The text takes the form of a Platonic dialogue between the author himself and the young nephew Annibale: Giovanni Della Casa speaks good manners and rules of conduct that had not yet been written down until that moment. Obviously, over time, the sixteenth-century label has undergone several transformations, but in any case there are some principles that must be observed.

Although the etiquette, as already mentioned, concerns every action of daily social life, we have selected the main and not always known rules on how to set the table and how it is necessary to behave during meals.Before revealing these 10 rules - not so obvious - here is what, however, should never be missing on your table. Etiquette is important, but so is nutrition!

How to stay at the table according to etiquette

"Do not rest your elbows on the table": how many times was this phrase repeated to us as children? Yet, if this rule is well known by everyone - more or less -, many other habits that tend to have at the table are wrong and few people know it. In fact, it is not enough to observe the so-called traditional good manners, such as not making noise while chewing or cleaning your mouth before drinking, to behave according to etiquette. For this reason, we suggest five rules that you may not have been aware of, but which are essential to stay at the table following the etiquette.

1. When to start eating

Even if the hot dish has already been served, the steaming food is in front of us and hunger is felt, we must not give in. One of the cardinal rules of etiquette is this: to start the meal, it is mandatory to wait for all the guests to be served and for the hosts to take their seats. Only they can kick off the start of the actual reception.

2. Where to keep the napkin

A simple rule but one that often tends to be forgotten. The napkin should never be tied around the neck or even tucked into the lapel of the shirt or dress: it should be placed on the knees and carried to the mouth when the need is felt. Furthermore, while eating, under no circumstances should you lower your head to bring it near the cutlery or, even worse, the plate. The posture with a straight back must always be maintained.

3. Never say "good appetite"

It is often said as a sign of courtesy and education, but, in reality, this exclamation before starting to eat is not seen in a positive way. According to the aristocrats, sitting at the table was born as an "opportunity for conversation. Food was considered, in past times, a surplus, to make that moment even more pleasant. To say" good appetite "means to give more importance to the meal rather than to the rest of the guests and their stories.

4. How to eat bread

According to the etiquette, when setting the table, you need to prepare a plate for the bread to the left of the main dish. Whether present or not, bread and breadsticks are the only foods that you can touch with your hands, even if they must first be broken and then brought to the mouth. Never cut bread with a knife: once broken, it must be placed next to our station. Unfortunately, it is strictly forbidden to make the much loved and tasty shoe.

5. Put the cutlery on the plate

This rule of etiquette always leaves you perplexed. If you want to take a short break, fork and knife must be placed on the plate at "16:20", that is with the handles slightly apart. Instead, when the course is definitively finished, each cutlery it is placed parallel to the other, horizontally: in this way, one also expresses one's satisfaction with what one has eaten.

How to set the table according to etiquette

Compared to the sixteenth century, there have been several changes. For example, at the time, the guests were arranged at the table according to the honorary title or according to relationships. Translating this custom today, it would be necessary to have "fixed" seats for any lunch or dinner, with the husband and wife " house "at the head of the table and then all friends and acquaintances along the sides of the table. This rule, however, is not mandatory, while these other 5 rules should be fully respected.

1. Tablecloth and napkins

The choice of tablecloth and napkins is at the discretion of the guest. The former can be of any material, from linen to cotton to silk, and there are no prohibitions regarding colors and patterns. The important thing is that it does not clash with the rest. of the service. In addition, it must have the same shape as the table, therefore square, rectangular, oval or round, and must fall sideways by about 30 cm. Obviously, the bon ton leaves nothing to chance and, for this reason, whatever type of tablecloth it is, it must be ironed to perfection.

The napkins are placed to the left of the plate and should preferably be square. As it was imaginable, paper ones are forbidden, unless it is an informal reception, such as a buffet or an aperitif.

2. Mise en place of the cutlery

To set the table according to etiquette, the arrangement of the cutlery plays a fundamental role, which varies according to the nature of the reception, whether formal or informal. In both cases, however, this set of rules must be observed. The cutlery must be placed on the sides of the plate, following the order in which they are used: therefore, the farthest will be the ones that will be used first. The forks must always be placed on the left, while the knives, with the blade facing the "inside, and the spoon, on the right.
Any fruit or dessert cutlery should be placed horizontally on top of the plate.

3. Arrangement of dishes

The dishes that must never be missing at the table are the main course and a smaller appetizer, which is usually placed on top of the first. If you also need a soup, it is better to bring the bowl already filled with the dish. Another alternative is to set the table with a flat plate with the deep plate on top and a plate for appetizers on the side. Often you are wrong, but to serve risotto, you should use flat plates.

4. Choice of glasses

The glasses should be placed in front of the plate and slightly shifted to the right. Closer to your station, you have to put the large one for water, then the smaller one for red wine and further to the right the one for white wine and, behind the latter, a possible flute for sparkling wine.

5. Centerpiece yes or no?

The etiquette leaves enough freedom when it comes to choosing a centerpiece. It can be either a floral or fruit arrangement, but the important thing is that it is not too bulky so as not to obstruct the movements or the view of the various guests. For dinners and romantic dates, we recommend candles, whose flame does not never goes up to the diners' eye level.