Etiquette for children: the golden rules for behaving well in any situation
Rules are often boring formalities, even for an adult; but they are necessary in order to be in harmony in social environments other than home. Especially at the table, etiquette helps us to have more respect for food and nutrition, a hot topic when it comes to transmitting good values to children. The video suggests how a child's nutrition should be set up. to make him grow healthy and strong.
The book for good education
Before listing the basic rules to pass on to a child to make him behave politely in everyday situations, we want to clarify that there really is a etiquette for children.
It is a small volume written about 10 years ago by the writer Nessia Laniado, now available on Amazon in both print and kindle formats, under the title Children's Etiquette - Behave in All Circumstances. The bon ton rules that you will find in our article are inspired by this text, whose goal is to ensure that children continue to express themselves spontaneously but managing to modulate their attitude according to the occasions in which they find themselves.
The little modern etiquette is an invitation to respect others, thus allowing parents to no longer find themselves in embarrassing scenes and to feel welcome everywhere.
Rudeness is never an excuse, because it is a symptom that brings to light other difficulties: the inability to manage internal and external conflicts. to be successful in life, or to build good relationships.
Therefore, teaching your children how to behave in all occurrences means accompanying them on a path of growth of emotional intelligence.
Now let's see the rules for good education, to educate children to behave well at home, at the table, in the restaurant, and more! Being respectful also means taking care of your body and others.
Greet and welcome guests
The starting point for educating our children in good manners is certainly to set a good example. Without our positive behavior, we can never expect children to do the same.
Let's start from a family context: the house. When you are in the family you can be free to do what you want, but even when you are only in 2 or 3 it is good to respect the tasks of each and not to be rude.
What happens when you invite people to your home instead? What if you meet someone in the building or in the common areas?
First of all it is advisable to teach the child how to greet, first with the hand and when he has reached certain skills he can move on to verbal greeting and eye contact. The greeting is a person's business card and when a child looks good it immediately generates sympathy in an adult!
When it comes to receiving guests, the behavior must be similar, that is to say hello by calling the person by name and looking into their eyes. As soon as he is older, perhaps around 8 years old, you can think of teaching him to shake hands. Get used to it from an early age to greet teachers and all the people you meet together on the street; you have to be the one to show him the right approach.
As a last rule of the bon ton at home it is good to know that you have to take coats and umbrellas. Guests must be assisted from the front door. The coat must be held by the collar and, if necessary, the person must be helped to find the sleeve in which to put the arm.
And how should children behave during conversations at home? With the addition of guests it is normal to create an upheaval in the routine of the little ones; try to find compromises to watch TV, noisy games and protests at the table. Above all, you get the message across that it's nice to have someone different. "with us for tea or dinner and that even when someone catches our attention it is not polite to stare at him.
How to converse politely
A child is not expected to be silent and still in a conversation between adults when he is also present; it is good that he also intervenes, as long as he demonstrates the right attitudes.
Here's what you can tell him:
- in a polite conversation the speaker is never interrupted;
- it is not nice to speak in the ear, because in this way the others are excluded from the conversation;
- bad words in the meantime of a speech should never be said (this also applies to the bon ton of mum and dad!);
- if you are on the phone, don't yell.
Be at the table
Here it is, the sore spot for many parents. Being able to make the children sit in a composed way at the table is for most a "business; going out or staying at home makes little difference because meals seem like an endless struggle. Let's see how you can remedy it.
It begins by involving the child in the preparation of the table and meals; seeing how you behave there is a good chance that you will imitate yourself when you prepare and bring food to friends and family.
A rule of good manners for older children is to use the napkin to clean themselves instead of the bib or worse still the hand; teaches them how to get on their knees at the start of a meal and how to clean up after drinking.
The etiquette for children also includes the teaching of the correct grip of the cutlery. When you have the knife in your hand, the knife is held in the right hand and the fork in the left (for left-handers it is the opposite) and should not be held as a combat weapon, even if it is just for fun. In particular, the bon ton provides that the knife is never brought to the mouth and that it must be used only when it is strictly necessary.
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For sitting, the correct position to teach children is with the back straight and the elbows close to the hips, hands on the table. It is forbidden to put your elbows on the table and surround the plate with your arm.
We are not suggesting that you become Miss Rottermeier when it comes to dining together, but to correct the child's incorrect postures and attitudes without embarrassing him. Acid and not very constructive comments are to be excluded, which will not help in the attempt to train the child to be composed at a table.
If at the end of the meal, however, he managed to observe all the rules, then you can praise him without problems!
The etiquette for children at the table also includes waiting for everyone to be seated before starting to eat and that when the food arrives, one cannot express disgust in front of an unwelcome dish. Expressions such as "It sucks!" Are prohibited; " I hate it! ";" It stinks! "Etc.
In short, everything that you have probably always said up to now.
Even more difficult, but it is really to try, is the rule of tasting: try to let the children taste everything that is brought to the table and then, if they really don't like it, they can devote themselves to the other courses.
Good manners in the restaurant
The most important thing in etiquette is not to disturb the neighbors at the table when out at the restaurant. Bandits scream and shout, but also play with cutlery or certain foods.
When you decide to take the children out for dinner or lunch, the rules they will have to respect will always be the same as in the previous paragraph, but with the addition of some precautions:
- you don't get up without permission;
- the seats assigned must remain the same throughout the dinner and are not exchanged with others;
- you have to greet and thank the waiters and all the staff at the table, at the entrance and when you leave;
- the morsels should be small and the portions appropriate for the child. To teach the policy of reducing waste, it is right to order a dish that the child can finish;
- you cannot play with the salt shaker or with toothpicks, and not even with oil and vinegar;
- it is not polite to stare at the neighbors at tables, as well as to point them out;
- to children and youngsters to urge them to switch off / mute cell phones at the table;
- he expects all present to be there to eat and above all he expects the courses to have been served to all diners. Early start is granted if one of the dishes ordered takes a very long time to prepare.
What if the child makes a scene in the restaurant? The most suitable strategy for the bon ton is to get him out of the dining room and try to placate the spirits by calmly reiterating the rules of good behavior at the table. You return to the room only when you have calmed down.
Take care of your appearance
In etiquette it is important to present yourself in a manner, clean and fresh.
Educate your children about personal hygiene, even if they are very young. This implies trying to make people appreciate the showers or the bathroom or even the time of hand washing, perhaps by studying a rhyme dedicated to those moments.
When you feel unwell and you have a cold, the child should be taught to always keep a clean handkerchief at hand, so that he can cover his mouth and avoid spreading germs (In era Covid is more than a gesture of courtesy, but a protection against everyone!).
Covering the mouth is a gesture that must be repeated even in case of sleep and yawning.
Finally, it is best not to put your fingers in your nose or scratch in public in unsuitable parts.
