Cosleeping: what it is and why you should choose it as a mother
The practice of cosleeping is irresistible for many parents: what could be nicer than falling asleep with your child? While in other countries the child's sleep with the parent is not seen as a problem, often in Europe it is. But why are there such conflicting opinions? Before going deeper into the question, watch the video below with the development of the newborn starting from the first month of life.
Cosleeping: a bit of history
Cosleeping has ancient origins and its disappearance dates back to 150 years ago. Until the 19th century, children shared a bed with their parents, or at least did not sleep alone. For reasons of space, but also of warmth, safety, breastfeeding and comfort, the family all slept together.
Soon, with the advances made in medicine, psychoanalysis, economics and Catholicism, many things began to change.
One of the first debates was about sexuality. According to some, in fact, sexuality had to be preserved and the conjugal bed became the privileged place only for the couple, keeping the children at a distance.
To this new vision were added the advances made in the field of hygiene, and psychoanalysis was also set to reinforce a new vision of the nocturnal detachment between parents and children.
It came to the common belief that the child must learn to sleep alone as soon as possible, even though there has never been scientific evidence that the proximity of parents to their children during the night causes great psychological damage.
See also
- For breastfeeding
When breastfeeding it is important that there is a mother-child closeness. This is where cosleeping comes to the rescue when the baby is still very young and is nursing at night. Plus, mom too
rather than having to get out of bed once or twice every night, he prefers to put the cradle next to his bed, or to have the child sleep directly in the middle of the bed. There will be no need to get up: by reaching out you can bring the baby to the breast and go back to sleep after finishing.
- If the baby cries constantly and is agitated
The night represents a special time for the child. Darkness does not like it and makes almost all small children nervous. This happens mainly because children have not yet acquired the self-confidence necessary to indulge in the night's rest. Evening separation is the equivalent of abandonment, and makes them painful and agitated.
Children therefore feel the need for a presence, to be reassured, to feel that their parents are not far away. The cosleeping cots are a simple solution to calm the child's anxiety, especially because if he sleeps little or badly, crying all night and constantly calling his parents, it will only disturb the sleep of the adults and the rest of the family.
- When parents are exhausted
When the situation persists and awakenings are frequent, parents are no longer able to catch up on lost sleep and end up "collapsing" and taking the child to their bed. But they do so with guilt, anxiety and denying the situation to conform to a social and cultural ideal of a child who "sleeps all night".
Cosleeping makes everyone feel better
Today we tend to recognize that shared sleep has a real safety function for the child but also for the parents; especially the mother, who "feels" her baby and can respond quickly to his needs, without having to deprive himself of sleep. Professor Jean Messer, of the "Strasbourg University Hospital, thinks that the cradle in the mother and father's room for the first six months of life, or even the first year, is a good thing, because it has a reassuring effect on the baby and the parents. Not surprisingly in the United States, cosleeping is a strong educational trend and the practice is becoming less formal.
Sharing the bed in a safe way is possible!
Making a place for the child in the parents' bed would therefore not be a disaster (psychologically speaking), indeed it could prove to be a solution. Here are the aspects to watch out for.
Here are some simple things to do:
- You don't sleep together if you smoke;
- the room should not be heated too much;
- the bed must not be too high;
- better to put a mattress near the bed to avoid any fall;
- eliminate the pillows;
- leaning towards a cosleeping cot so that everyone has their own space;
- avoid putting the child in the bed of adults if the latter are taking alcohol and / or sleeping pills: the risk of suffocation is very high.
Cosleeping and sexuality: how to preserve the couple
If the parents both agree to have the children sleep in the bed, this does not create any problems and you know that sexuality will have to be expressed in other ways. It is important to be aware of this. The situation is not the same if you do. suffers: the presence of the child is tolerated in the hope that it will not last long. In short, if the decision is not shared, it is better for the child to go back to his bed. For some partners, cosleeping may not be lived well: in most cases they are the fathers to feel rejected and relegated to the edge of the bed.
The way out is to express, discuss and tackle the issue together.
It is easier to say "I don't want, I don't agree" and explain, rather than suggesting or begging for the child to go back to bed. By accepting the child in their bed, parents must find the imagination to love each other in other places and think. to escape as a couple from time to time by entrusting the child to the grandparents, for example.
Where to buy co-sleeping cots?
We have selected the best cots for co-sleeping, essential accessories for a peaceful sleep in the company of mom and dad. Discover all the models below designed for the safety of newborns during sleep.
- Chicco Next 2 Me cot for co-sleeping on Amazon at a special price!
- Calidoo cot for co-sleeping in special offer on Amazon!
- Colcho Ibaby cot for co-sleeping discover it now on Amazon!
- Wooden cot for co-sleeping on offer on Amazon!
- Foppapedretti cot for co-sleeping with retractable side, you can find it at a special price on Amazon!
Up to what age to practice cosleeping?
Babies need night security until at least the end of the breastfeeding period, but it can be up to 3 years old. The beginning of kindergarten will likely mark the end of cosleeping and the child will happily return to his room. Pediatricians and psychologists believe that the dangers of shared sleep are unproven. Hand-to-body contact makes the child feel safe, helps him strengthen. emotionally even during sleep.
How to prepare your baby for sleep alone
If the child is of the right age, you may want to try to phase out cosleeping. How? He uses his room for afternoon naps and play, never associating punishment with the bed.
Leave a light on in his room during the night or in the first phase, so he doesn't feel lost in the dark. If you really have no alternative, let your child fall asleep in the parents' bed and then take him to his room so that the next morning he wakes up in his bed. In short, his room must be associated with pleasant moments such as reading, cuddling, games etc ... all factors that must help the child to love his space and his bed. If you give in to letting him sleep in the grown-ups' bed, don't blame yourself: this feeling can be disruptive and make you feel worse.
It is more important for a child to have relaxed and fit parents than to feel exasperated and tired.
