20 things you should never accept in a relationship
Love relationships are based on respect and trust, as well as on love and physical attraction.
It is essential that there are these precious ingredients for a relationship to really work. If this does not happen, and we are willing to accept incorrect and disrespectful behavior, it is often due to the lack of good self-esteem, which is good to take action as soon as possible.
In the 21st century, there are now things that should be very clear about relationships and how our partner should behave with us. It is not a question of pretending to be treated like spoiled princesses, but of making it clear from the start some basic things that we can no longer tolerate.
There are in fact, unfortunately, still today many men who conceive and treat women as objects, considering them their property or simple secondary actors in their life. A woman (and even a man) shouldn't be subordinated to what her partner thinks or does, much less allow herself to be annihilated, manipulated or abused by her man.
This mentality is unfortunately still at the base of our deeply male-dominated culture and is the reason why we find ourselves counting a very high number of femicides, perpetrated by men unable to accept the end of a relationship and the freedom of the woman who once loved them. .
This is why it is essential that women recognize early on what they deserve in a relationship and say no to bad behavior and manipulative or violent men.
Below we suggest 25 things that can sound like alarm bells and that we should always avoid accepting within a relationship that is said to be healthy and virtuous.
See also
Long-distance love: how to make this relationship work Distance relationship: 10 psychology tips to make it work Phrases about trust: the feeling behind any stable relationship1. Lack of respect
Let's start with rule number one in any relationship: respect. Respect means that he will not be afraid to support you, to commit, to take care of you and to value you, respecting yourself, your tastes and your desires. If you see from the beginning that he is a disrespectful person, not only with you, but also with others, dismiss him immediately. Remember that people do not change.
2. Continuous lies
You don't do anything with a man you can't trust. You need respect, trust and serenity, and these ingredients do not go well with a relationship that is based on lies and the fear of being betrayed.
Being able to count on your man is essential to live well and feel at peace.
Do not excuse lies and betrayals, think about your well-being and your peace of mind: let it go and wait for a mature relationship that knows how to enrich you and make you better.
3. Scream
If he yells, even for the most trivial reasons, treating you badly, then you better step away from your life altogether. Of course, quarrels and misunderstandings can occur, and often help to improve the relationship, but they must be done with respect and an appropriate way, thinking about the well-being of the other person.
4. He insults you
It may happen that in a moment of anger and nervousness, not exactly pleasant words and epithets fly, but just realize it and apologize. In any case, these should eventually be rare and sporadic episodes. If not, if the norm is to hear offensive appellations and violent tones, then it is good to review your relationship and seriously consider the possibility of ending it definitively. A man who gives us respect, treats us with kindness and education and knows how to apologize.
5. He's always looking for a fight
Does he get angry when you want to watch your favorite show? Does he go mad when you disagree with something? Do you feel like you are his opponent rather than his partner? These are futile reasons, which do not justify starting a real fight; this means that he is an irascible and immature man, unable to satisfy the needs of others and make compromises. In a word: escape.
6. He betrays you
There is no excuse for being unfaithful to your partner. We have heard several times "I'm so sorry", "I didn't know what I was doing", "I was drunk", "I don't remember", "it didn't mean anything". If he has done it once, he is likely to do it again. Get up and go on. You deserve better.
7. It is nothing
If he doesn't want to shop with you, if he doesn't have a job and doesn't strive to find one, if he prefers to spend his life watching TV on the sofa, it means that you are dating an immature and lazy man, unable to take responsibility and to really commit to building something concrete, in the couple as in life.
8. He hits you
Getting out of an abusive relationship can be very difficult. Sometimes women are so scared and unsure of themselves that they don't know how to get out of it or even think they deserve what they are experiencing. Don't feel compelled to help them, because no one deserves to be beaten. In cases like these it is necessary to ask for help and turn to associations in defense of women. You will find people who can help and guide you on this path, allowing you to reach your freedom.
9. It threatens you
If your partner has told you that if you cheat on him, leave him or go for a drink with your friends you will regret it, take it as a sign of his violent nature and immediately run for cover, leaving him.
He is insecure and wants to have power over you, but relationships are built on trust, not power!
10. He is an exhibitionist
If he is used to doing everything to always feel at the center of attention, even making you uncomfortable, then there is something wrong. It is not normal to always have an over the top behavior: it is an indication of a lack of stability and self-confidence. And these things can only lead to imbalances and problems within a relationship. Better to take them into account and take care of them before getting entangled in a toxic relationship.
11. He never compliments you
We do not pretend to be treated like princesses to which to say every day "love, you are wonderful", but getting compliments and acknowledgments for important goals achieved or simple daily changes is an indication of attention, affection and interest towards us. Watch out for distracted men ...
And if instead of compliments, we only hear unjustified criticism and negative comments, it is likely that we are faced with a narcissist who wishes to undermine our security to bond us even more to him and make us dependent. In this second case there is nothing else to do but escape.
12. He never asks you how you are
An inattentive and not very present partner can cause a lot of frustration over the years. Learn immediately to understand who you have by your side: if they are always not interested in what you do or how you are, maybe they are not really the right person. Better to look for a more accomplice and present life partner.
13. He has a macho and retrograde vision
If you keep commenting that it is the man who has to support the family and the woman who takes care of the house and the children, you are probably accepting the end of a stimulating life and a career worthy of being called as such. to be a housewife, but this must be your dream, not an "imposition of the partner.
14. He doesn't refer to you as his girlfriend
It's a classic. The whole "I don't like labeling relationships" thing. Either you want to be in a relationship with a girl or you don't want her. Either he's proud to be your boyfriend or he's not. Tell him how you feel. He should show respect for your opinion as much as he does for his own, and if he doesn't, that's a definite no.
15. Never wants to go out
You don't even remember the last time he asked you out. And he seems to have an allergy to seeing your friends. If you don't force yourself to do something different, look for common hobbies, and always prefer to be home alone, your relationship can quickly become boring and monotonous.
Try to stimulate each other, organize something you love, satisfying everyone's tastes, you can only find benefits on a personal and couple level.
16. Has a habit of flirting with others
A man needs to know where the boundaries are when it comes to the opposite sex, especially if he is already in a relationship. The last thing you should see is your man flirting with the others. It is a terrible disrespect and as such it must never be justified. Besides, it is also a humiliation in front of everyone, therefore, even in these cases it is good to face reality and say goodbye.
17. It invades your privacy
Does he look at your phone often? Do you catch him rummaging in your drawers? If he doesn't trust you and his jealousy is totally unfounded, there are two possibilities: either he changes and begins to trust his partner completely or you say goodbye forever. As already mentioned, trust is key for a relationship to work. If he can't believe in you, it doesn't make sense for you to be together.
18. Plays continuous games
Some men think relationships are a game, especially the more immature ones. If he goes from being nice to you to ignoring you from one minute to the next, let him. This attitude is not normal, so we recommend that you don't waste time and choose a mature, stable and reliable man.
19. It's rude
Did you bake him a cake for his birthday? Did you throw him a surprise party? Did you prepare food for him? And in all of this, he didn't even thank you? We all like our partner to do things for us, but it is essential to see that these cute gestures are appreciated and reconciled. If the words "please", "thank you" or "sorry" are not part of your vocabulary, there is no need to think too much about it. Goodbye.
20. He has some outstanding issues
There is no reason for your boyfriend to keep talking or constantly dating his ex-partner (unless she's his child's mother, of course). If he's in a relationship with you, he should focus on you. This doesn't mean that he shouldn't talk to other women or that he shouldn't have friends.
Again, we remind you how important communication is in a couple, so if you are angry because he can't get over his past, the best thing to do is tell him. Once you have done this, if he does not respect your choices and continues to do as he believes, it is good that you make your own considerations and also think about closing the bond. Riocrda, a relationship must bring you well-being and serenity, not create problems and insecurities.