How to overcome shyness? 5 practical tips to do it
Are you afraid of the judgment of others?
Do you feel stuck in different stressful situations?
Are you afraid to reveal your feelings?
If these three statements represent you, then yours could be shyness. How to overcome it? We help you! In this article we deepen the question together, also revealing useful tips to feel more self-confident. Before continuing, watch the video below with some exercises to increase self-esteem.
What is shyness?
Shyness is an emotion that, contrary to what one might think, is necessary for the human being, but at the same time it can hinder in many situations. When shyness takes over, both our way of acting and behavior are affected and the mind triggers "defense" mechanisms that block us. This happens in most cases, to prevent negative effects that may not occur, which is why it is useful for everyone to learn how to manage emotions to change the cards on the table by demonstrating to our mind that we are wrong and there is no reason. to feel fear, anxiety and shyness Training in this sense is a first step to stop being shy.
See also
Shyness, fear, anxiety and introversion: what are the differences?
Shy people usually feel fear of unfamiliar situations and are blocked by the judgment of others that could hurt them. Shy people are usually also very sensitive and in some cases fragile, their life is severely tested by the anxiety with which they have to fight every day. If we think about typical situations in everyone's routine, a shy person will have difficulty in communicating with anyone, from the supermarket cashier, to the bus driver, to a stranger asking for directions. This is a very common problem that affects both young and adulthood, but there is an important distinction to be made between do: shyness should not be confused with "introversion, because if on the one hand there is the desire to expand one's social relations but it is not possible to do so, on the other the introverts, by choice, simply prefer solitude to company.
Reasons behind being shy
By analyzing the behavior of shy people, we can identify some main causes that give rise to the sense of embarrassment.
- Fear of the judgment of others
You are so interested in the judgment of others that it becomes of primary importance for you not to make any mistake in order not to be judged. You are constantly thinking about what others will say or do about you.
- Low self-esteem
Underlying shyness may be low self-esteem. The constant thought in your head is related to the fact that "you are unable to do a certain thing" or "better not to do this because then others might say ..." Any compliments or positive feedback on your work are also not considered sincere.
- "Shy" label
There is also a third underlying cause of shyness, namely "having grown up with the" shy "label that someone has seen fit to saddle us with. This idea inherent within us is difficult to eradicate, consequently even if we would not be, we are prone to behave as timid. In this case, working on us will be essential to understand what are the causes that generate embarrassment, addressing once and for all the thoughts that block us and make us ashamed even in situations where there would be no need.
5 practical tips to overcome shyness
1 - Investigate the causes
The first step in overcoming shyness is to investigate its causes. Stop blaming yourself and focus your attention on why you have low self-esteem, and in which situations you notice that being shy takes over. By coming to answers you will know the source of your shame.
2 - Do not pay attention to the judgment of others
As difficult as it may be, try to remain indifferent to the judgment of others. We all have flaws, but also strengths that should be highlighted more. Try to put shyness aside and bring out your qualities.
3 - Be less demanding of yourself
Don't blame yourself for being shy, this will only make the situation worse by pointing out a "negative image of yourself."
4 - Accept being shy
Accept your shyness and learn to live with it. It is a real challenge, which if won, allows for a not indifferent personal growth. Small steps at a time will be ideal for taking on the world and turning it in your favor. The first attempts to tackle your shy side will not be successful, but don't be discouraged, mistakes are needed to understand how to improve. Take these mistakes lightly and try again.
5 - Write before you speak
If you know you are facing situations that cause you particular shyness, one method that could help you is to write down what you want to say to get a clearer idea and to make sure that your presentation is fluid and smooth.
Are you shy in love? Here's what to do!
What does it mean to be shy in love? If in everyday life you are a fairly self-confident person, but in love relationships you have great difficulty in expressing your feelings, it could be shyness in love. The main problem is precisely the relationship with the opposite sex, but we want to reassure you: it is often a transitory condition that affects especially if you are a beginner. Let's see what to do.
- If he's shy ...
If you are dealing with a shy guy and want to understand if he likes you, watch these signs:
- He is embarrassed when he sees you fidgets and is clumsy, all these could be signs of interest.
- She asked your friends about you as she couldn't talk to you directly.
- He is always smiling when he sees you.
- Change your look: whether it's the clothes or the haircut, use them as tools to grab your attention.
- If she is shy ...
What are the signs to understand if a shy girl likes you?
- She is clumsy and gesticulates nervously
- He looks at you secretly, avoiding crossing your eyes
- He always laughs and does it mainly to break the embarrassment
- When you are close he does not speak to you
- She is talkative and talkative only through social media
- Asks your friends about you
Psychology can help
There is a psychological therapy to overcome shyness once and for all: you should not be afraid to make an appointment with a psychologist, indeed this will be a big step in the right direction. Often many people who have a social anxiety disorder are also and especially limited in working life. If you are in a role where you are repeatedly asked to speak in public, overcoming shyness will help you improve at work too. That of public speaking is one of the typical situations in which even the most Zen subjects can be nervous. We feel in the spotlight, we are afraid of making mistakes, of making such mistakes that from that moment on we will be fooled. Even children in situations such as plays or shows in which they are protagonists become shy. It is completely normal, but while in children it is almost always a transitory phase, in adults this condition can be debilitating. By getting help from a psychologist you can finally be free from anxiety and more motivated. The results will not be long in coming.
