PHUBBING: WHAT IT IS AND WHAT ARE THE RISKS OF THIS SMARTPHONE ADDICTION

Over time, social relationships evolve naturally. In fact, external conditioning, the developments of society and of living together deeply affect the way we relate to others, whether it is friends and relatives or partners. In this sense, technology is also profoundly influencing relationships with others, sometimes in a positive sense, in other cases not. A completely negative example is that of the phenomenon of phubbing.

What is phubbing?

The term phubbing is a neologism that derives from the union of two words, snubbing, or snub, e phone, phone. It indicates, in fact, the act of ignoring someone to pay attention to their smartphone. With this, it does not only mean taking the mobile phone and starting to chat with another person, but also checking social networks, notifications, emails or even just pull out the device to check for messages. These are all actions that can be considered "trivial", but which now each of us does without realizing it, privileging the use of the telephone to the interaction with those we face physically and not virtually.

With this premise, it is easy to understand how anyone who has repeatedly practiced and / or suffered phubbing in different contexts ranging from "going out with friends to relaxing with your partner. However, committing phubbing is not just a" rude "gesture. because it can become an action that puts relationships at risk, leading to social exclusion.

Why is the mobile phone increasingly present in our life?

It is well known that the smartphone has become a very important medium in our life. In an object of modest size, information and fundamental details of our work and career are kept, starting from emails or even from the agenda, which is increasingly digital and less papery. In addition to this, however, it is always on the telephone that we find fragments of our private life, made up of chats, social networks, photos, audio, playlists and other multimedia contents.

Thus, the smartphone allows us to constantly keep with us what we believe defines us as people and also to control any aspect. in fact, only virtually, we can choose whether to reply to a message or not, decide to like a Facebook post or an Instagram photo and to accept or delete a "friendship". In real life, however, all this does not it can happen so easily. The dynamics of a "friendship in flesh and blood, a love relationship and a relationship with family members are more complex and unpredictable."

When the smartphone hurts relationships

It doesn't really matter in which relationship you are phubbed or phubbed. It can be about work, friendship or love, but the underlying message is essentially that we don't care much about that conversation or relationship. Also, there are more serious repercussions if you phubbing your neighbor repeatedly. In fact, if you check or even chat through your cell phone it becomes the modus operandi typical of a person, this risks facing social exclusion and not only because they will no longer be able to interact without a screen with others, but also because it could also be those who are close to them who do not want to have anything more to do with them. Do.

In the opposite case, that is to repeatedly suffer the phenomenon of phubbing, there are still many risks because it affects the mind and the emotionality of the subject. A research by the University of Kent has shown how phubbing is a method of social exclusion. double meaning and, therefore, those who experience it on their own skin may feel threatened in their basic human needs such as belonging, self-esteem, a sense of accomplishment and control.

The impact of phubbing on married life

Probably the most studied case with regard to phubbing is its impact on married life. Snubbing your partner in favor of your phone is a more than widespread practice and can be witnessed on many occasions. For example, how many times have we seen a couple at a restaurant who didn't even exchange a glance because they were too busy checking their smartphones? Here, the experts explain that normally you do phubbing only because you see the other doing it. Maybe one of the two partners was waiting to receive the due attention from the partner intent on chatting or monitoring notifications and so, out of boredom and reflex, he decided to in turn use the mobile phone.

Repeated episodes of this kind can lead to a perception of low interest of the partner towards you. It is thought to be uninteresting compared to those in front of you and in this way it creates dissatisfaction within the couple, which in certain contexts degenerates into depression. Phubbing can ruin the communication of the two partners - fundamental for any relationship - and also their complicity. Finally, some studies have noticed how neglecting the partner for their phone decreases sexual desire or, even, that sex is seen by the "snubbed" partner as the only way to distract the person. "more from chat, notifications and social networks.

How to say stop phubbing

You can't just find a segment of the population who practice phubbing. Since smartphones now belong to everyone, anyone puts this phenomenon into effect, even if young people between 15 and 30 years tend to prevail.

If you have recently realized that you are "snubbing" social relations or the relationship with your partner in favor of your mobile phone, we suggest these simple steps so that the phone does not become the third party in your life as a couple or in any relationship of the your life.

1. Keep your cell phone away on occasion

If you are used to checking your phone often, the first step is definitely to keep it away from you when you know that its use is not essential to you. Do not place it on the table while you are eating, do not carry it with you on the sofa while you are watching a movie in the company of someone or leave it in your bag when you stroll peacefully through the streets of the city: these are just some of the circumstances in which the smartphone is not really necessary but just having it on hand might tempt you to use it.

Furthermore, if you see that phubbing is having a particular impact on your life as a couple, you can also decide together with your boyfriend to turn off both your cell phones at different times of the day. By doing so, you will rediscover the beauty of being together without any distraction, communicating and enjoying only your presence.

2. Download "control" apps

For those who use their phone excessively, control apps have been invented, also called "smartphone detox" apps. These are applications that monitor device usage and that can block the receipt of notifications and messages in a certain amount of time. You may choose to rely on these apps when you are planning a date with friends and you don't want any. "virtual" distraction or during a day when you want to dedicate yourself entirely to your partner.

3. Enjoy the present

Phubbing is just one of many examples that shows how, very often, technology and the virtual world behind it is given priority rather than actual reality. For this reason, we need to start living more. the present giving less importance to everything that, on the other hand, only serves to testify to it.

Learn to appreciate every single moment because it is unique and will never repeat itself. Make the people you care about and who are in your life feel important by offering them your interest, your love, and your empathy. If you implement this simple rule constantly, you will see that it will become natural and that the smartphone will return to assume the role it deserves: that of a useful tool but not able to replace any human being.