First date: the toilet is broken and ... she puts the poop in her purse

We all had an embarrassing first date, nervousness, spinach between our teeth and him talking about his exes but this woman ... had the most incredible date ever. On Twitter she told step by step what happened to her and shocked the web.
We're not sure that's true but it certainly deserves a mention for the fantasy.

I have a story to tell you. It's about my poop

I have a story to tell. It is about my poop

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

See also

The first genderless child: neither boy nor girl

Divorce boom: Coronavirus puts couples to the test

So yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me to go out to the supermarket. Everything good. Let's go to his apartment

So, yesterday I went on a date with a man who asked me out in the grocery store the other day. All was going well. I went back to his place

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I am a confident, calm and determined woman ... so I felt comfortable pooping in her bathroom. It was a mistake. The toilet didn't flush

I am a confident, calm and self assured woman ... so I felt comfortable popping in his bathroom. This was a mistake. His toilet did not flush

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

correctly. So obviously, as a calm, confident and determined woman, I panicked. I pulled the water a million times and made the situation worse

Properly. So, of course, like any calm, confident, self assured woman. I panicked. And flushed it a million times, making everything worse

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

At this point I was really in crisis because I had been in the bathroom for too long. There was just a little piece of poo like that, then ...

By this point, I was really frantic because I had been in there for too long. There was only one single piece of poop. I know in that moment

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

The solution came to mind and I knew exactly what to do. I took the toilet paper and removed the poo from the toilet but once done

Something came over me. And I knew exactly what I had to do. I got toilet paper and removed the one poop from the toilet. Once that was done

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I realized I don't have a plan. What do I do now? I can't leave it there. I was going crazy because

I realized I didn "t have a plan. What do I do with it now? I can" t fucking leave it there. By this point I was REALLY freaking out because

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

I've been in the bathroom for far too long. So, again, I made another terrible decision. I did the only thing I could and I wrapped it up.

I "d DEFINITELY been in there too long. So, again, making another horrible decision. I did the only thing I could think to do. I wrapped it

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

in countless sheets of toilet paper and put it in my purse

In multiple layers of toilet paper, and put it in my purse

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

perfect, now what? We are sitting on her sofa and all I can think about is the poop in my purse

Alright, so now what? We are sitting there on his couch and kissing and all I can think of is the piece of poop in my purse

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

Him: You are so beautiful. You smiled at me and I was already yours

Me: you are so sweet

Me in my head: There is a piece of poop in my bag.

Him: you "re so beautiful. The moment you smiled at me, u had me Me: that" s really sweet Me in my head: I have a piece of my poo in my purse

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016

It was very embarrassing for me. Seriously: don't drink coffee before a date, better to be sleepy than poop in your bag.

This is v embarrassing for me. But seriously: dont drink coffee before a date, its better to be sleepy than to have to hide poop in ur purse

- misunderstood worm (@_blotty) March 22, 2016