Mansplaining: the signs to understand when you are a victim
We have all been victims of mansplaining at least once, a widespread phenomenon especially in the workplace, when male colleagues tend to explain how to work to female colleagues. The paradox lies in the fact that often the speaker does not have any competence with regard to speech; if we add to this an arrogant and presumptuous attitude, we will have the perfect identikit of the mansplainer.
How to spot it? In addition to words, one thing we can do is observe body language.
Mansplaining: what does this phenomenon consist of?
The professional mansplainer feels superior by nature, and his only purpose in life is to explain something obvious to a female colleague, trying to teach her the profession, discrediting her words and especially her skills. But why? What is at the basis of this phenomenon? Paternalism, condescension, underestimation and arrogance that spur the male to assert his opinion as the top expert on the subject, questioning the word of others and ignoring the skills just because just because this " of others "is a woman. It doesn't just happen in the workplace, mansplaining also takes place in the family, in the couple or among friends. In general, this is a very sensitive subject because it is easy to use this term in any discussion between a man and a woman; things are not exactly like that, which is why below we explain the signs that portend you are victims of mansplaining.
How to recognize mansplaining? 3 clear signs
Have you ever heard a colleague, friend or family member address you in a patronizing tone and phrases like that "let me explain ...", "maybe you don't know that ..." or the more generic "you women should understand that ..." which is obviously followed by a long and heavy monologue? Well, here's a clear example of mansplaining.
The mansplainer also recognizes him because he always talks about something not required and above all useless for the purposes of the speech, but this is absolutely satisfying for him because it reinforces the concept of gender superiority.
Even if we are in 2021, we must admit that we are still in a patriarchal society, where the main roles of power are managed by males over 45 years of age. When, on the other hand, it is a woman who occupies a position of power (and fortunately this happens more and more often), it will happen more and more frequently that a male colleague will want to explain to her how to do her job. And it doesn't matter if she is paid for her skills, or if the male colleague has no authority on the matter: the unsolicited male opinion will win anyway.
1 - Interrupting a woman while she is talking
Here is the first sign to recognize mansplaining: being interrupted while speaking. According to a study conducted by Princeton University, during meetings or conversations at work and beyond, men tend to speak 3 times more often than women, even at the cost of interrupting whoever is talking at that moment. to notice it, it will have happened at least once to all to be delegitimized by a conversation, and it is an increasingly frequent phenomenon especially in purely male environments or when one does a profession that has been associated with man for years: information technology or technology are a striking example.
2 - Talk about what you don't know
Talking about what you don't know, just to talk, is the typical way of doing the mansplainer. Men have always been more inclined, than women, to boast through words, experiences that they do not really possess and expose themselves on topics they do not master. Mansplaining is sneaky, it is in a nutshell a form of oppression that is often subtle and not easily identifiable especially when it is put into practice by a colleague or a person we trust. The worst thing is that being lectured often and willingly generates anger and annoyance, but in the moment it leaves us unable to act.
3 - Being inopportune
Even the web is dotted with typical examples of mansplaining: it often happens to receive covertly patronizing comments if you try to express an opinion on something or talk about topics for which you are authoritative. If you are a woman, you have a 90% chance of this happening and someone will come and tell you how to do it better than you are already doing it. Yes, because, let's face it, the most cunning mansplainers manage to pass their arrogance in the form of advice with phrases like "it's just my advice ...", sin is not required!
How to react to mansplaining in the right way
We have seen so far that the mansplaining phenomenon is very frequent in the workplace: if the boss is a woman and is explaining a topic going into the details, it could happen that she is interrupted by a colleague who feels compelled to add details, when in reality he is doing nothing but repeating the concepts already amply explained by the manager. In all cases where you find yourself a victim of mansplaining, what to do? Follow these tips.
- Keep calm
It may seem strange, but being able to remain calm is unsettling for the interlocutor who instead would have expected a strong reaction from you.
- Reply with direct questions that tend to displace
Answering direct and unexpected questions is also something that blocks the mansplainer. A few examples? If you notice that someone is lecturing you, try asking them: If there was a man in my place would you treat him the same?
- Have a safe approach
Do you know you are dealing with experienced mansplainers? Having an approach towards them that shows confidence and firmness can help to remove the vice.
- Joke about it
Being able to joke about a serious topic like mansplaining helps keep the situation under control and restores roles.
- Ignore mansplaining
On this point we want to dwell a little more. Ignoring mansplaining is a winning strategy as well as easy to implement. On the other hand, it also helps to avoid unnecessary nervousness and to remain calm. Especially if you are in a prominent position with respect to yours. interlocutor, losing your temper would give rise to another mansplaining in an endless vicious circle.
- Never take it personally
As we well know, the average mansplainer speaks following his innate belief that he is right about everything. But it is even worse when this character is convinced that he can help you even if he is not an expert on the subject. He never has it directly with you, that's why you don't have to take it personally, just respond in the right way to invite him to reflect on his behavior.
In general, remember that mansplaining is a phenomenon that must be eradicated by dismantling all beliefs and neutralizing, even with the help of allied people, inappropriate behavior.
The concept of mansplaining and its variations
Rebecca Solnit is the writer we mentioned at the beginning of this article, and it was she who first mentioned the term mansplaining because, during a conversation with a fellow writer, she found herself repeatedly interrupted and it was suggested to read an essay to find out about a certain topic, but it just happens to be one of his writings!
His book was born from this episode Men explain things to me, who faces and deepens the question of mansplaining, a neologism that spread immediately after having found fertile ground among all the women who had been victims of it and recognized themselves in what Rebecca wrote.
There is no Italian translation of the word mansplaining, even if the writer Violetta Bellocchio has proposed the expression manly explanation, which, however, has never been widely disseminated. Other expressions that can be associated with an Italian translation of mansplaining are: minchiarimento And masculine explanation. Being an extremely felt and current phenomenon, the singer-songwriter Francesca Michielin in collaboration with Calcutta, dedicated the single Femme precisely to mansplaining.
