EMPATHY: WHAT IT IS, WHAT ARE ITS TYPES AND WHY YOU TRY IT

Normally, the term "empathy" is described as the ability to "put yourself in the shoes of" another person. "This purely emotional contact, similar to a symbiosis, is now considered not only a gift but also one of the most important skills for relating. In short, feeling empathy is a "skill in interpersonal relationships, which is increasingly required even in the workplace. In fact, it goes beyond the simple understanding of the other thanks to his body language, because it sees the establishment of an emotional connection.

In this article, therefore, we will discover what empathy is in all respects, also dwelling on the different existing "types". Furthermore, we will note how empathic people have certain particularly developed human capacities, which fall above all in the world of the emotional sphere.

What is empathy?

The term "empathy" has a "very ancient origin. It comes from the Greek, from the compound"en - pathos", which literally means" to feel / perceive inside ". Therefore, to define" empathy as the simple ability to put oneself in the other's shoes is an understatement. In fact, although a certain connection occurs, it mainly involves thoughts and states of " soul of the individual with whom the empathic person comes into contact. Once this "connection" is established, those who feel empathy stop focusing only on their emotions and feelings, perceiving those of the other.

Therefore, when empathy is at stake, a person begins to see reality from a different perspective from his own which corresponds, in fact, to the vision of the other with which he is related. An exchange takes place, never total and never without control An empath always knows what their own vision of reality is and what their perceptions are from those of others, but all this leads him to be able to understand the emotions and opinions of others without judging.

The types of empathy

Being a subject as complex as it is fascinating, several studies have been conducted on empathy, especially in psychology and sociology. These researches have led to distinguish various types of empathy, of which those of "positive empathy" and "negative empathy" prevail. who have the ability to share the joy of others as a distinction.

Positive empathy: occurs when a person knows how to share and participate sincerely in the happiness of others, enjoying his state of mind which is directly reflected in his mood.
Negative empathy: it occurs when someone fails to enjoy the happiness of others, often because they are "blocked" by some negative experience of the past that leads them not to know how to share positive moods.

In addition to this distinction, in the same way we can speak of both cognitive empathy and emotional empathy. Unlike the positive or negative, these types are not necessarily excluded a priori. Indeed, a person can be empathic on both a purely cognitive and emotional level.

Cognitive empathy: it is the ability to understand the emotions and the point of view of others. You understand the thought and the perspective of the person with whom you relate, without necessarily "perceiving" them on an emotional level and, therefore, trying them.
Emotional empathy: unlike cognitive empathy, emotional empathy not only includes what the other is experiencing or thinking, but indicates that ability to feel the emotions and perceptions of others. Therefore, it is not just a cognitive understanding but one feels in effect what the other feels.

The abilities of empathic people

"This is one of the greatest supports of human existence: finding emotional resonance in other men to whom one is fond and whose presence arouses a warm feeling of belonging. This mutual confirmation through feelings, the emotional resonance between two or more people, plays a central role in giving a meaning and a sense of fulfillment to existence. "
Norbert Elias

It has been noted that some people are more empathetic than others. The reason is to be found in the various psychology studies that are still carried out today. Empathic people are particularly sensitive and partially naturally predisposed to understand and feel the thoughts and emotions of others in interpersonal relationships. In addition to the characteristics that distinguish them from others, on their side the empaths have certain highly developed abilities that are useful to them not only in their personal life, as in the management of various family relationships, of "friendship or" love, but also in that work and within society in general.

1. The ability to listen

Anyone who manages to feel empathy demonstrates a particular ability to "listen to others. Listening empathically does not mean simply hearing the words that are referred to us, but" entering into the speech "and being genuinely interested in what is being said, without feeling the need to intervene. or interrupt. This is why we go beyond the words of the interlocutor, trying to decipher the emotional sphere.

This is the only way to get a "complete" picture of the situation and act accordingly. Obviously, the more you have a close relationship with the other person, the more you will be able to implement some gestures that make them understand our closeness. For example, especially in a love story or friendship, it will not be enough to understand why the partner or "friend is sick, but we must give advice and answers that take into account his state of mind."

2. Accept the differences

Judging someone has only one result: accentuating differences and pushing others away. Since empathic people come into contact with others mentally, understanding their point of view, situation and feelings, they could never create a barrier made of judgments, because it would interrupt that "connection". Therefore, those who feel empathy do not judge and accept diversity, even if it is ideas or emotions that are very far from their own. He does not stop to take note of it, but tries to understand why the person in front of him thinks or feels them, deepening the situation.

3. A remarkable development of emotional intelligence

Psychologist Daniel Goleman is the great scholar of emotional intelligence, a subject that became famous during the nineties. Emotional intelligence is distinguished from cognitive intelligence, or the ability to learn or solve problems, because it focuses only on the aspect. emotional. It is the ability that a person has or does not have to know how to curb, in the relationship with the other, their negative emotions or impulses, to be able to manage emotions in general and to have good control of himself and his personality.

This ability is highly developed in empathic people, because they must be able to recognize their emotions in order to then understand and share those of others. Furthermore, a good emotional intelligence allows an empath not to suffer too much from the negative moods of others, in order not to risk always spoiling one's mood.