Distance relationship: 10 psychology tips to make it work
Distance relationship: yes or no? It is difficult to give a clear-cut answer to this question, because there are many factors that can determine the success or failure of a relationship of this type. Sure, living a long-distance relationship isn't easy and it doesn't take a psychology degree to tell, but it can work.
Nowadays, thanks to technology, it is easier to have a long-distance relationship and still be able to share your daily life with your partner, even if they are far away. For it to work, however, it is important to be able to manage it in the best possible way.
So here are 10 basic psychology tips to ensure the success of a long-distance story. And, to laugh about it, think that a story like this also has its advantages ... for example, you will never find yourself experiencing situations like these:
1. Think Positive: Psychology's first tip for a happy long-distance relationship
We know that it is not easy and that for sure there will be moments of deep sadness and despair, but the important thing - in a long-distance relationship - is to be able to maintain an attitude of positivity. You will miss your partner for a good part of the time. , that's for sure, but you can avoid wallowing in that excruciating pain or sending him ten voice messages crying in. Certainly such attitudes don't help ease the situation and, in the long run, are counterproductive.
Keep living your life and your commitments as much as possible. In the evening, on the phone or on Skype, it will be nice to tell him in detail what happened to you, and for him to do the same with you. Focus on the positive aspects of your distance: how nice will it be to hug him next time you meet? And how good is it not to have to answer to anyone if you are going to go out alone with your friends tonight? Of course you miss him and that you will miss him, but you must be able to feel good even alone!
2. Take advantage of technology to share everyday life and communicate as much as possible
The number one rule for a long-distance relationship to work is to develop communication. Not being able to see yourself, you will have to try to tighten your emotional bond as much as possible, and you can only do it by communicating as much as possible to still feel close.
Communication is essential for couples living together, let alone those at a distance! You will have to learn to develop the art of conversation and, day after day, it will be easier for you to understand each other and find the right words for each other, as if they were virtual caresses. The important thing is to feel each other frequently, even not for long, but in such a way as to be able to really have the perception of "living there" in everyday life.
Fortunately, today with technologies everything is easier and you can not only hear each other whenever you want, but also see yourself, which will help a lot! Use every means to keep up to date on your lives, from social networks to video calls, and soon you will also focus on which ones are most suitable for you.
You don't need to discuss maximum systems: the little everyday things are enough! Just talking about everyday life, in its most banal aspects, will make you feel closer, increasing that sense of familiarity that unfortunately you will not be able to develop by being far away.
3. Share experiences with your partner even if you are in a long-distance relationship
You live in two distant cities, it is true, but it is not certain that you cannot share experiences together anyway. Again, technology will come to your aid. You could, for example, watch a movie or a game together at the same time, with your partner framed at the PC on his lap.
You could open a blog together to share your stories, or decide to read the same book at the same time to be able to comment on it together, or cook a new recipe live on Skype. Having the same experiences at the same time will really help you feel closer and strengthen your bond.
And then, how romantic is it to fall asleep together on the phone or video call? An "experience to try!
4. For a peaceful long-distance relationship, don't be afraid to argue, but never over messages!
We come to the pain points: in a long-distance relationship it is easy to argue. The risk of having to argue increases compared to a couple who are dating in person. However, it would be a mistake to try to avoid arguments at all costs: always remember that an open and sincere dialogue is essential for a long-distance relationship!
So don't try to hold back if something is troubling you. Talk to your partner about it, but calmly and calmly, without being aggressive. The right attitude is what will save your relationship.
But above all, never fight over messages: it's the easiest way to be misunderstood! On the contrary, try to discuss via video, to be able to look yourself in the face or, if this is not possible, do it anyway orally. Intonation matters a lot and your eyes will be able to say things that the written word could never express.
5. See each other often: it is psychology that recommends it!
It may seem obvious, but it is not at all: to make your long-distance relationship work, you will have to try to see each other as much as you can. Continuously monitor the offers of trains or low-cost flights, so as not to lose them and be able to allow you to reach it as much as possible. Try to alternate as much as you can so that the distance does not weigh economically on only one of you.
You can join each other, or plan a weekend in a third city: it would be a nice way to live another exciting experience together! It's all about being able to keep time and budget under control. Occasions do not necessarily happen often, but the important thing is not to miss a single one!
6. You share the same idea of the future
For your long-distance relationship to last, psychology states, it is important that you and your partner experience it in the same way, that is, with the same goals and sharing the same idea of the future.
Talk about it in great sincerity as soon as possible: What do you want from this story? Do you consider yourself two dating or real boyfriends? And would you like to get closer together in the future? Would you like to live together sooner or later? And a family? Would you be willing to change cities sooner or later if the relationship becomes serious?
Of course it is not easy to deal with such complex issues, but it is good to be clear immediately. If neither of you would ever move from their city, but both of you want to live together soon, what's the point of continuing? There is no right answer to the above questions, the only important thing is that you see it the same way!
7. Loyalty and trust: two keywords for a long-distance relationship for psychology
For a long-distance relationship to really work, there must be the two "f's": fidelity and trust. Trust is also fundamental in relationships that ignore distance, but in this case it is even more so: if you lack trust and you are far away, your story can become a real nightmare!
Trust is created through sincerity: lying is useless, and neither is hiding anything. If you are an open book with your partner, he will be able to trust you more easily, and vice versa.
Loyalty is closely linked to trust. If you have decided to be serious from a distance, you will both have to work hard not to cheat. Otherwise why go through all this effort? Certainly there may be attitudes or situations that will annoy you, make you feel jealous: remember that the solution is always the same, dialogue. If you can talk calmly about your fears and doubts, you will always be able to clarify and resolve them. Mutual trust and dialogue will make you unbeatable!
8. Keep the passion burning: Here are the tips on how to do it in a long-distance relationship
There's no point in hiding it: no matter how hard you try to make a long-distance relationship work, sex will always be lacking! We must then try to adapt to the situation. Have you ever tried virtual sex?
If you've never done this, you may feel embarrassed at first, but in the long run you may end up liking it a lot! The Internet helps us from this point of view: we no longer speak only of telephone sex and sexting, but of real virtual sex to be done in front of the camera (obviously only with a partner you trust blindly!).
But be careful: everything must happen as spontaneously as possible, without forcing! For example, you could start by telling him how you are dressed, what underwear you wear ... or by confiding in him your wishes, what you would like to do to him if he were there with you ... Keeping the passion alight at a distance is not only important, but also a lot , very tantalizing!
9. Surprise each other!
So that your long-distance relationship, made up mainly of messages and phone calls, does not become too routine, try to surprise yourself!
Of course, showing up at his house without having warned him may not always be welcome, especially if you know that the partner is quite busy with work ... There are, however, some middle ground: you could give him some clues about your coming, ask him to be found in a certain place in the evening with an excuse and be found there ... Unleash your imagination, you will certainly please him!
10. Confide in someone to share long-distance relationship experiences and advice
Finally, let's face the truth: there will certainly be some difficult times, when you will miss him very much and you will not be able to do anything about it. In those moments it is good to have someone close to you to confide in, who can understand you, perhaps some friend or family member who has or has had experiences with long-distance relationships.
The advice or the simple understanding of a loved and trusted person, whom you love, will surely help you to feel less alone in these moments of sadness and to overcome them more quickly!
