Cynical sarcastic phrases to play down and have a big laugh!
Optimism is the scent of life, read an old advertisement. But even a modicum of sarcasm mixed with cynicism can help to face the big and small challenges of everyday life. In fact, a contemptuous and detached attitude can sometimes act as a weapon defense against delusions and help us not to take things too seriously. To help you with this, we have collected more than 100 sarcastic, cynical and stinging phrases for you to dedicate to someone or to keep in mind as a mantra for life.
And to help you play down, watch this video and find out some fun anecdotes about dating apps:
Sarcastic aphorisms about life and death
Life and death are the two great themes faced by men of all times. But complex ruminations and profound reflections are of little use. The only way to fully understand these experiences is to live them, without being tormented by too many worries or deluded by vain hopes. Many people have understood this and it is through their cynical quotes that we want to explain this concept.
Do you ever think that life is too short to stress yourself out with people who don't even deserve the privilege of being a problem?
Anonymous
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; and the pessimist fears it may be true.
James Branch Cabell
There are times when everything is fine: don't be scared, it doesn't last.
Jules Renard
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. You hope it's long and enjoyable, but it always ends at the wrong time.
Rudyh
If you decide to stop drinking, smoking and making love, it is not that you live longer: life seems longer to you.
Clement Freud
The finer things in life are either immoral, or illegal, or make you fat.
George Bernard Shaw
We would need three lives: one to make mistakes, one to correct mistakes, one to savor it all again.
Albert Jess
Only time will give you the answers you are looking for, but it will give them to you when you have forgotten the questions.
Osho
Hoping means having misconceptions about life.
Gottfried Benn
See also
Man spends the first half of his life ruining his health and the second half trying to get well.
Leonardo da Vinci
The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you can't do.
Walter Bagehot
I want to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx
Eleventh commandment: forget it.
Anonymous
I was smart and I wanted to change the world. Now I am wise and I am changing myself.
Dalai Lama
Most people don't live, they just make a living; and in the end, it doesn't even die - crack.
Giovanni Soriano
Don't take life too seriously. You won't make it out alive.
Elbert Hubbard
Our life is an obstacle course and the finish line is the grave.
Anacleto Verrecchia
The man is a bullet that the vulva shoots towards the grave.
Anacleto Verrecchia
Dear life, when I say "can it get worse than this?", It is a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Anonymous
Chaos is welcome, because order has never worked.
Anonymous
Principles are the noblest thing in life.It is necessary to keep them so high that, if necessary, they can be passed underneath.
Michael Horlacher
Virtue is called the sum of those things that we have not done out of laziness, cowardice or stupidity.
Henry Miller
Only now do I know what is important in life. It is important to know that nothing is important.
Roman Polanski
Nowadays young people believe that money is everything, and when they are older they are sure of it.
Oscar Wilde
If you play the unknown man in the street pretty well, you never say your opinion, you only look after your family and you don't live in times of war, you have a very good chance of dying from a heart attack, a cerebral thrombosis or cancer.
Franz Fischer
In a few thousand years, civilization has already arrived on the moon; someday it will also arrive on earth.
Vittorio Giovanni Rossi
Accept who you are. Unless you're a serial killer.
Ellen DeGeneres
Blue sky. Swallows. Blooming flowers… If I think that one day I will never see all this again, life seems more bearable to me.
Romano Bertola
I go wrong again and come back.
Anonymous
Love ... A used match floating in a pisser.
Hart Crane
But come on, the wrong things are all right.
Anonymous
I'm not sour. I'm cheerfully pissed off.
Anonymous
Get a joy. Now put it down, it's not yours.
Anonymous
To err is human, to persevere is diabolical, sending to that country is therapeutic.
Anonymous
Life sometimes gives us chills. Let us not delude ourselves. It's a fever.
Anonymous
The worst is over. To pick.
Anonymous
I have the superpower to turn money into receipts.
Anonymous
When life brings you to your knees, pretend you're tying your shoes.
Anonymous
If it's all roses and flowers, you're dead.
Anonymous
I tried. It harms.
Anonymous
I get up directly on the wrong foot so as not to create useless hopes.
Anonymous
The situation will resolve itself. In one way or in alcohol.
Anonymous
I felt that the right foot today was the other.
Anonymous
Nothing will affect my good mood, because I don't even have any.
Anonymous
I wanted to thank everyone who made my life better… by getting out of it.
Anonymous
The best cynical quotes about love, relationships and marriage
Burning disappointments in love can leave an indelible mark on a person's heart. It is from this experience that many develop a form of cynicism towards love, as can be seen from the sentences collected below. In fact, below you will find a series of quotes on romantic relationships that, imbued with sarcasm, will make you smile but will also leave you with a sense of bitterness.
But then will Prince Charming be normal? I don't trust someone who goes around with light blue leggings!
Anonymous
If I ever talk about love and stars ... kill me.
Charles Bukowski
Marriage is an alliance entered into between a man who cannot sleep with the window closed and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.
Anonymous
In a couple it is important to achieve a balance. Sometimes she is right, sometimes he is wrong.
Anonymous
Behind every great man there is a woman who rolls her eyes.
Jim Carrey
I still have a lot to give you. Fire, for example.
Anonymous
Do you know those who say you can't live without love? Oxygen is more important!
Dr. House
Only the imbeciles lived "happily ever after".
Roberto Gervaso
Tell your pride that mine blows him a kiss.
Anonymous
"Can we still remain friends?" "You and who?"
Anonymous
It is raining. It is dark. It's cold. Only you are missing ... as a misfortune, I mean.
Anonymous
It is a very bad habit to idealize someone because then you end up missing someone who never existed.
Anonymous
And those who play to lose you ... let them win!
Anonymous
I really have to thank you. As soon as I saw you the hiccups passed.
Anonymous
Marriage is the first step towards divorce.
Roberto Gervaso
Marriage is the only war in which one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous
I feel something for you: it sucks!
Anonymous
A woman who is right is right. A man who is right is single.
Anonymous
Men marry women with the hope that they will never change. Women marry men with the hope that they will not change. Invariably they are both disappointed.
Albert Einstein
I can't find the scotch mark, let alone the love of life.
Anonymous
Ironic and funny phrases about the holidays
Forget the usual banal greetings, copied and forwarded a hundred times on WhatsApp and cards. Whether it's birthdays, Christmas, Easter or Epiphany, focus on originality, taking inspiration from our collection of ironic and biting phrases to use during the holidays!
"What are you doing on Valentine's Day?" "If I can catch him, I'll beat him!"
Anonymous
Do you need qualified personnel for the epiphany? Search my Facebook friends!
Anonymous
I wanted to surprise you for Easter, but I couldn't get into the "egg ... so I ate it!"
Anonymous
May you survive the priest's boring speech in church and join me in the party as soon as possible. Happy Christmas!
Anonymous
Christmas is coming ... ready for the fateful question: "What about the boyfriend?". Good luck and best wishes!
Anonymous
But what does "you're too big for an Easter egg" mean?
Anonymous
Life is like an Easter egg surprise: you expect a series of wonders and only keychains arrive.
Rudy Zerbi
The years never seem to pass over you. How lucky you are ... always looking old!
Anonymous
For your birthday I would have thought of a cruise with friends to the Caribbean. Could you water my plants during my absence? Many wish!
Anonymous
I look forward to Christmas to rediscover my highest values ...
cholesterol, triglycerides and blood sugar.
Anonymous
At Christmas they are all better. It's the before and after that worry me.
Charles M. Schulz
Cynical sarcastic phrases about people
Relationships aren't complicated, it's people who make them so. This is the conviction of many of us who, over the years and following various relational misfortunes, have developed a sort of misanthropy towards mankind. If you find yourself in this category, you will certainly appreciate the collection of sarcastic phrases that we have collected for you about people. To dedicate to annoying colleagues or to share as irreverent status on Facebook.
Better to be unpleasantly sincere than pleasantly untrue.
Anonymous
"Even scum is capable of good feelings." "Precisely for this reason it is scum: it is capable of anything!"
Gertrud von Le Fort
What is man but a complicated and ingenious machine to transform, with infinite wisdom, the red wine of Shiraz into urine?
Karen Blixen
I like not to like everyone.
Anonymous
The head is better hard than empty.
Anonymous
But for those who don't get there, is there an extension cable?
Anonymous
Who understands you is not good. He has the same mental problems as you.
Anonymous
Each has its own breakdowns.
Anonymous
Get off the pedestal: you can see your underpants.
Anonymous
The more I know about men, the more I love animals.
Anonymous
In addition to the instinct of procreation and that of eating and drinking, man has two passions: to make noise and not to listen.
Kurt Tucholsky
You can tell a lot about a person from how they handle these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas lights.
Maya Angelou
Never argue with an idiot: he drags you to his level and beats you with experience.
Oscar Wilde
Of every man I believe the worst, even of me, and I have rarely been wrong.
Johann Nestroy
Humanity is in such bad shape that now only a catastrophe can save it.
Giovanni Soriano
What is infinity? Think of human stupidity.
Bertrand Russell
Aren't you hot so ridiculous?
Anonymous
Before you talk about me, talk to me. Thanks.
Anonymous
I would like to apologize to all those I have not offended. Be patient. I'll get to you shortly.
Anonymous
My political orientation is mass extinction.
Anonymous
Everything is in the hands of man. Therefore it is necessary to wash them often.
Stanisław Jerzy Lec
Some dodge them, some pestos, others greet them.
Anonymous
If only I could I would make a statue. Do you know how satisfying to see pigeons shitting on you ?!
Anonymous
Apparently some people queued three times when the good Lord distributed the stupidity.
Konrad Adenauer
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Albert Einstein
An intelligent woman has millions of enemies: all stupid men.
Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach
Irony is wasted when used on stupid people.
Oscar Wilde
The problem with closed minds is that their mouths are open.
Anonymous
I love humanity. It's the people I can't stand.
Anonymous
Bad jokes
You have a poisoned tooth, but you want to make it known with irony? Do you want to respond in kind with a catchphrase? Don't get caught unprepared. If someone is bothering you, throw them one of these naughty jokes!
Everyone is always in a hurry, but they always find time to break the boxes!
Anonymous
I don't have time to hate ... but 2 seconds to send you to that country yes.
Anonymous
I didn't insult you. I described you!
Anonymous
I don't give you digs, I throw the bow directly in your face.
Anonymous
The thing I appreciate most about certain selfies is your courage.
Anonymous
Do not be angry if there are those who consider you half a fool. You can see that he only half knows you ...
Anonymous
The more I look at you, the more my self-esteem rises!
Anonymous
Please don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you.
Anonymous
If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you.
Groucho Marx
I can't fool you because you already are.
Totò
It is not true that you are useless. Set a bad example.
Anonymous
There is a person who could find something good in you: a cannibal.
Anonymous
You only need your head to keep your ears apart.
Anonymous
But won't you hurt yourself falling so low?
Anonymous
I never forget a face, but in your case I'd be happy to make an exception.
Groucho Marx
Do you know what the difference is between you and a mirror? The mirror reflects without speaking and you speak without reflecting.
Anonymous
You do not like me? Sit down with the others who are waiting for me to give a damn.
Anonymous
If I'm bothering you tell me, I keep going!
Anonymous
Funny jokes
What could be better to start, or continue, a day full of smiles than a couple of ironic and funny jokes? If you want to create quality humor, take a cue from the funny phrases we have collected below!
In 90% of cases, an “in fact” pulls you out of a conversation you didn't understand anything about.
Anonymous
Women who can change men exist. They are called caregivers.
Anonymous
I wish you 5 minutes of intelligence to understand how stupid you are.
Anonymous
If you are happy and you know it, you are drunk!
Anonymous
They are good and bad. It depends on how you treat me.
Anonymous
Do not put your mouth on everything that then you get herpes.
Anonymous
I close in on myself, but every now and then I go out to ruin everything.
Anonymous
If happiness is around the corner, my life is a circle.
Charles M. Schulz
Instead of the period I would prefer to receive a message like: "all right, you're not pregnant, keep it up!"
Anonymous
If one day you feel sad and out of sorts, think that you were once the fastest sperm of all.
Groucho Marx
My horoscope this morning says: “Look, forget it, if something improves I'll let myself be heard”.
Anonymous
If you could kick the butt of the person responsible for most of your problems, you wouldn't be able to sit down for a month.
Theodore Roosevelt
People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I have always thought that if you have enough money, you can have a duplicate.
Joan Rivers
