Long-distance love: how to make this relationship work
During the phase of falling in love, everything seems easy in a relationship. Over time, however, the first difficulties arise that can be of various kinds. One of the most difficult challenges is certainly that of a long-distance relationship: having to separate from the partner to weeks or months seems intolerable.Usually, the reasons behind the separation are different, from work to study and the most disparate life choices.
The distance makes us understand how much we should say more often to the person we love simple phrases like these, without ever taking anything for granted:
Today we will discover everything there is to know about a long-distance love: from the most difficult difficulties to those that are real "advantages", because they can make the couple stronger. Finally, we will see the best tips for dealing with the distance from the partner in such a way as to make the reunion even more beautiful.
See also
The difficulties of a long-distance relationship
Let's start by examining what long-distance love partners consider the most difficult challenges.
1. Fear of going away
In this case, "moving away" does not refer to physical detachment, but to mental and "spiritual" detachment. In fact, the distance from a geographical point of view can lead to a break in that connection and that "spiritual understanding that exists between two lovers. The habits established over time are lost, even those that are normally considered more annoying. In addition, the habits established over time are lost. different fears due to not being able to live and see your partner, especially the fear of being betrayed. The only way to counter this completely natural jealousy is to make trust prevail: it is not always easy, we know, but sure a key not to further alienate the partner due to suspicions and doubts.
2. Lack of physical contact and intimacy
The physical sphere is very important in a relationship. It is built over time and is essential for a story to work. It goes without saying that it is the first thing that is missing when a long distance love is undertaken. The understanding and the sexual growth of the two partners undergoes a sudden stop, as well as those small gestures that are part of the simple physical contact. Kisses, caresses, hugs, sharing the same bed during the night: we lose that series of habits and demonstrations of affection that are established naturally in every couple.
3. Travel planning and spending
Changing city and even state or continent involves a change in one's lifestyle, perhaps starting from the banal time zone. Despite this, both partners need to make an effort to hear from each other often and see each other when possible. This aspect leads to "another challenge", which is the organization of trips to meet. Obviously, these trips can be more frequent if they are two cities in the same country or two states not so far away. In any case, it is necessary to take into consideration the expenses for these trips which, even if they are made for a more than legitimate cause, can in some way weigh on the financial availability of the two lovers.
The "pros" of a long-distance love
It may seem impossible, but it isn't. Especially after the initial phase of a long-distance relationship has been overcome, its advantages in favor of the couple can be discovered. All these qualities aim to strengthen the relationship: in fact, if you can best deal with a relationship marked by distance, you will probably be able to overcome any obstacle.
1. It is the litmus test of true love
The first great advantage of a long-distance relationship is this: it makes anyone who faces it understand whether or not their relationship is based on true love. Surely, this test can be much more difficult for those with a history of a few months rather than years. However, there are many demonstrations that time is relative and long-distance love is a valid couple test for everyone. Not every couple is able to pass it and therefore it means that, sooner or later, even without the distance factor , would not be marked by "and they lived happily ever after".
2. Make you appreciate your partner more
According to a Cornell University study, long-distance love allows you to appreciate your partner more. Every visit, meeting or even phone call acquires an extra value and, in the same way, much more importance is given to his presence when he is next to us. The lovers who face this type of relationship know how fundamental it is never to take the other for granted, to enjoy every single moment of each other's company and to show all the love one feels towards each other as soon as they have the opportunity. In short, partners who know well what distance is, appreciate the little things more and increase their vision of the future in a positive way.
3. Improve communication
Compared to a few decades ago, we are very lucky: Skype, FaceTime and social networks come to our aid to better manage any type of long-distance relationship, including those of love. All this allows us to make the most of these technologies and improve communication between the two distant partners. Since the whole physical sphere of the relationship is put aside, it is important to focus on the one made up of understanding and words. You can go from those questions considered more trivial - but which are not ask "how are you?" or "how was your day?" to deeper and more intimate conversations, which play that fundamental role of keeping lovers united although distant.
Tips for making a story work remotely
The fundamental aspect, however, is this: how to transform the difficulties of a long-distance love into strengths and advantages for the couple relationship. We suggest some tips to make this type of relationship work to feel more in tune with your partner despite the separation, so that it is only physical and never mental!
1. Share the same idea for the future
For your long-distance relationship to last, it is important that you and your partner experience it in the same way, that is, have the same goals and share the same idea of the future. This means that distance must be seen as a phase, a transition after which there will be a definitive rapprochement.
Making this decision requires transparency and honesty: if neither of you wants to move to the same city, then it will be very difficult to carry on your relationship. If, on the other hand, you are both aware that this is a temporary situation, then you are already planning, even unconsciously, your future together, an essential aspect for every couple, even the "close" ones.
Similarly, to make your partner feel less nostalgic, set common goals, such as a weekend you will meet again. Having a date, something to share, will unite you at the expense of physical distance.
2. Make the most of technology to communicate
As we have already mentioned before, a long distance love has the advantage of improving communication. However, this only happens when we make the best use of the technology we have. Establish with your partner a frequency of contact and which means you prefer. It does not matter whether it is Skype, FaceTime or a simple call, the important thing is that you keep your communication alive and that you never take it for granted. This does not mean that you have to establish a real routine, planning every message: it just means to take advantage of any means to keep up to date on your lives, how you are and what you are feeling.Just talk about the little things to recreate and reinforce that sense of familiarity that otherwise risks being lost with the separation.
3. Keep surprising each other
Habit is one of the bitter enemies of love, even if it is at a distance. Physical separation does not have to make you fall into a simple routine of texting and calling, because that way you would lose interest in each other very quickly. So, if you and your him are apart, never forget to surprise each other. In general, surprises are always nice even when sharing the same house, but they will be even more welcome if separated.
A bouquet of flowers, a handwritten letter, an unplanned visit, an unexpected gift: there are so many ways and ideas to surprise each other and keep the flame of your love alive, just indulge yourself with your imagination and the game is done!
The 10 most beautiful phrases of the great authors on love at a distance
Finally, we conclude with the 10 most beautiful phrases on long-distance relationships written by the most famous authors. In each of these aphorisms, the writers reflect on the difficulties of this kind of relationship but also on how it is the proof of true love.
Absence attenuates mediocre passions and increases the great ones, like the wind blows out candles and revives the fire.
François de La Rochefoucauld
It is not the distance that counts, but the desire to reach each other.
Angelo De Pascalis
Sometimes you have to stay away from the people you love, but it doesn't mean you love them less, sometimes that makes you love them even more.
Nicholas Sparks
Nothing benefits love as much as distance. With each kilometer of distance, affection increases.
George Bernard Shaw
Since love always ignores its depth until the hour of detachment.
Khalil Gibran
If two people are made for each other, they will end up finding each other, regardless of distance, time and even circumstances.
Nora Ephron
In love, separation approaches.
Victor Hugo
My heart is close to you, even if my body is far away. If you cannot see it, all you have to do is go down into your heart and you will find mine there.
Bernard of Clairvaux
Very often, to be able to discover that we are in love, perhaps even to become one, the day of separation must arrive.
Marcel Proust
There are no goodbyes for us. Wherever you are, you will always be in my heart.
Mahatma Gandhi
