Pre-adolescence: advice for parents of teens in this age group
Pre-adolescence is a range between the ages of 10 and 14, in which our children are no longer children, but not even adults: they come out of childhood to move towards adolescence. Pre-adolescence is a complicated "age of searching for one's own identity, which can upset both parents and children. Here are some tips for you to better deal with, in the meantime, watch this video about a pre-adolescent almost thrown out of school for her dress code. :
Pre-adolescence: the passage of our children from infancy to adolescence
Pre-adolescence is an age of transformation for our children, who leave childhood behind to move towards adolescence and adult life. Children in this phase of their life, which psychology itself indicates as particularly delicate, they are looking for their own identity and, as parents, it is important to be close to them in the best way so that they can grow up calm and self-aware.
The transformations that a pre-adolescent faces in this phase of life are numerous, both from a physical and psychological point of view. Parents must be very careful during the pre-adolescence of their children to grant them the right spaces of freedom so that they can "explore" the world outside of childhood with the right self-confidence, but without giving up their educational function, guiding them at a distance.
A preteen, aged between 10 and 14, needs to slowly break away from the safety of the family nest in order to "take flight", but this removal must always be supervised: parents must on the one hand push their children towards the "outside", on the other hand not to prove too permissive, but to help them in this process of growth and development of their own identity, and - let's face it - it is certainly not easy!
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What Happens to Our Kids During Pre-adolescence?
During pre-adolescence, children experience an intense whirlwind of emotions, which, however, do not yet have the right tools to express and elaborate at their best. In this phase of their life it is easy for them to experience great enthusiasm as well as great moments of despair, apparently not justified. These emotions can turn on and off very quickly.
A pre-adolescent carries within him a great anger, due precisely to this inability to understand and express himself at best: the anger that often explodes against parents hides deeper reasons, from fear to insecurity, from anxiety to frustration. On the one hand, the pre-adolescent feels the urgent need to detach himself from his parents, on the other to remain with them as in childhood.
The way in which boys express these unconscious emotions is therefore often aggressive and very physical, and it is during the preadolescence that their bodies begin to change. Pre-adolescents go through the development of puberty: their bodies, their voices change. The search for sexual identity begins, despite the fact that they are not yet aware of the issues related to sex.
It is not easy, therefore, for these no-longer-children to stem the anger and disorientation that derive from all these psycho-physical disturbances, and parents must find their (personal) way to be close to them, perhaps by following some of our advice. ...
Being the parents of pre-adolescent children is difficult!
If during adolescence it will be really complicated to be heard by their children, during pre-adolescence children still maintain a certain degree of malleability, which allows them to be directed towards the best path to discover their own identity. Parents, in this phase, are called to a considerable degree of patience: they will have to go beyond the provocations dictated by the anger of their children, making them feel that they are there and that they will always love them, even if they are experiencing a transformation that they do not yet understand and that will take them away from them.
If the pre-adolescent child looks at you with anger, respond with a look of love that makes him feel that he can always count on you. hate you), know that he doesn't really think so, he is just overwhelmed by what he feels. Do not get angry, therefore, do not threaten him, but help him find the balance within himself.
In this age group, children tend to ask their parents for more and more autonomy and freedom. Denying them completely would be wrong, but it is always good to proceed step by step: start by giving them a little more and, if your child proves to be responsible, next time you will give him some more. " Show him that you trust him, it's important for him to build his self-esteem!
Advice for parents with children in this age group
Parents often make the (bona fide) mistake of considering their preteen children as full grown adults - that's not the case! They are in an evolutionary phase, they will still have a lot of time to change, discover and form their identity. They are not yet big and, at this stage, you will not be able to see all the fruits of your education fully realized as a parent: many you will be able to reap only later!
The important thing is to understand that the children are in a phase of evolution and that this evolution is only positive, although at times it may seem the opposite: we must not panic, but always seek dialogue with them, negotiate and never give up. for fear of being told we're not good parents. Our ex-children may not be able to see it now, but in the future - when they are truly educated and aware adults - they will understand and thank us!
