POLYAMORY: WHAT THIS MULTIPLE LOVE EXPERIENCE IS AND HOW IT WORKS - LOVE-E-PSYCHOLOGY

Polyamory: what this multiple love experience means and how it works

We are used to conceiving love by imagining two people. We believe that to love each other you have to be in a couple, in a fixed, monogamous, faithful way. These are ideas that we inherited from the past and that we have always carried with us, as if they were encapsulated in our DNA . But who said that love has only one version? For example, it is enough to listen to how these children define love to understand that we build certain mental structures when they grow up ...

Polyamorous people deny these patterns and explain to us that love can have many more forms than we imagine. Let's see which ones by discovering what it actually means to be polyamorous.

What does "polyamory" mean?

The term polyamory speaks for itself: "poly", from the Greek, it means" many ", and love, from the Latin, we all know what it means. Being polyamorous means embracing a philosophy whereby love is multiple, and this idea is concretized in sentimental and sexual relationships. In fact, by polyamorous relationships we mean all those relationships, emotional and intimate, with several people, all aware and consenting. Similar words and terminologies appeared for the first time in the years "60-" 70, historical period symbol of freedom, of any kind. But it was in the 90s that more people, including authors and journalists, began to use the term combining it in its various forms such as "polyamory" and "polyamorous relationships".

How the polyamorous experience works

To have a polyamorous relationship, primarily, we must detach ourselves from the idea of exclusivity, of a couple made up solely of two people who declare themselves eternal "fidelity". And we quote fidelity because in the case of a polyamorous relationship it becomes a concept with blurred boundaries. You can be polyamorous in many ways, and it is not necessary to associate this condition only with a "sexual openness." You can support the philosophy of polyamory even if you are single, if you have a stable relationship that has lasted for years, if you are asexual. In fact, the main conditions for being polyamorous are 3:

having an "open-mindedness that is detached from the usual canons for which to love means to be in two,
the informed consent of all those involved in a polyamorous relationship,
Respect for the feelings and needs of all members of the polyamorous relationship.

When we talk about polyamorous relationships we mean multiple relationships that do not stop simply at the sexual aspect, on the contrary, which cultivate even very deep love relationships. You can have a stable couple, live with your partner, decide to have children and be quietly polyamorous. The important thing is that everyone is aware of this, and that I do not intend to limit the sentimental freedom of any of the members involved.

Polyamory? But wasn't it called an open relationship or a threesome?

There is a fundamental difference between polyamorous relationships and open couples or threesomes.

When we talk about an open couple, we generally mean a relationship formed by two people who decide to have mostly sexual relations with other people outside the couple. Many open-minded couples do not have the sincerity and awareness of both members as their founding principle, which is why extramarital encounters often result in a "cheating partner".

Threesomes are generally of a sexual nature even if there are polyamorous relationships composed of three people, but in this case the relationship is based on mutual feelings expressed by all 3 components, and not just in bed.

We must not confuse, therefore: polyamorous relationships are not made up of swinger couples who seek extra marital relationships to vent love frustrations or different erotic fantasies.

Polyamory is not a gender issue

It is commonplace, hopefully outdated, to associate multiple relationships with a gender issue. It is commonly believed that homosexuals are more predisposed to "open couples", to have less stable relationships and are more promiscuous. We have inherited from the 1980s the strange belief that freedom in terms of love affairs is more attributable to homosexuals. But this is not the case, and polyamory is its expression. Polyamorous relationships are easily structured between people of any sexual tendency, naturally even heterosexual ones. And it is also wrong to believe that men have taken the initiative for this type of relationship. There are many polyamorous women, heterosexual or homosexual, who have embraced this philosophy.

Nobody can believe that they know more about "love": there are those who believe in the traditional family, who love their partner and have no desire to fall in love many times; and there are also those who feel they are more predisposed to have many ways to express their love and have found their suitable dimension in polyamory. The important thing is to understand that falling in love is wonderful.

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