Pause for reflection: does it really help a couple in crisis?
"Let's do this, I put my life on pause, but only while you kiss me."
There are those who see it as the end of a relationship and those who, on the other hand, consider it a precious help: the pause for reflection encounters conflicting opinions. , all couples know, sooner or later, the habit and many of them also experience different clashes on the most varied topics. Does all this have to consider the love story over? Not necessarily. Misunderstandings are normal, especially if due to a particularly tiring and stressful period, when it is more difficult to compromise. In this case, it may be a good idea to opt for a pause for reflection If, on the other hand, the problems are more complex, such as a sharp decline in desire and passion, then taking a break will only prolong and delay the already announced closure of the relationship.
In this article we will reveal to you if a pause for reflection is useful, also giving you some advice on how to make it as constructive as possible.Remember that, almost always, within a couple, problems start because there is not enough talk. Try to express your feelings towards the person you love ...
How long should a pause for reflection last?
While there is no precise rule on how long it should last, the pause for reflection should be a time to think and make decisions. For this reason, the duration of this break can vary depending on the couple and the type of relationship that the two partners have behind them. Taking an excessively long pause for reflection means not wanting to face the closure of the relationship, while a period that varies from week to month is recommended, because it makes it possible for both to analyze the feelings on both sides. In fact, only so you and the your him you will be able to understand what you still feel for each other and whether it is better to move on or to finally break up.
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The advantages of the pause for reflection
The main benefit of a reflection break is taking time with yourself. This means that we can do whatever we want, but that we are free to focus on ourselves and our feelings. In fact, love is a feeling, not an emotion: emotion is a "passing" state of mind, which is felt above all when one falls in love, a moment full of surprises and new discoveries. Love, on the other hand, is a complex feeling that remains over time despite the difficulties. Spending a few days with yourself, thinking about your relationship, you will be able to understand if what you are feeling is strong enough to be considered love.
Then, a pause for reflection allows you to better analyze your behavior towards your partner. Questions like "maybe in that case it was my fault and not his?" or "did I blame him for my mistake?" they could crowd into your mind: try to review everything from a different perspective and give an answer to the various questions. Understanding the mistakes you have made is the first step to start thinking about how it would be best to get out of this crisis.
How to behave during a pause for reflection
"I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart"
AND AND. Cummings
When a couple feels the need to take a pause for reflection, both partners feel something is wrong with their relationship. The things unspoken for fear of arguing become more than what they say aloud, the discovery of the other seems to have run out and we blame each other for that harmony that seems to have vanished forever. time "is a frightening phrase, which suggests an imminent closure of the relationship. However, if lived wisely, the pause for reflection is very useful. If you think that the time has come for you and your boyfriend to be alone with yourself, we suggest you follow these tips.
1. Make rules
Whether you have chosen both or suggested by either of you, the reflection pause should follow "rules" so that you and your partner know how to behave during the time you are apart. above all, being able or not to associate with another person. Our advice is not to fall into the "nail crushes nail" trap: taking a break in the relationship is equivalent to feeling the need to reflect and not make hasty decisions that would lead to separation. Seeing another person can really make things worse, because carried away by the excitement of knowing, you may not be paying proper attention to your "old" relationship, not yet over.
2. Stop contacting
It is not taking a real pause for reflection if you constantly exchange messages or call your partner constantly. If you and your boyfriend have chosen to take some time for yourselves it is because, for some reason, your love story was starting to hold tight and you didn't seem to fit together anymore. For this, you need to focus on yourself by cutting the contact with your sweetheart, without constantly asking how he is or constantly waiting for a call or a reply to a message. It is probably the most difficult thing to do, but it is also the decisive one: without hearing him and knowing how he is, Do you miss him? Do you miss him? Do you miss him? But if after days of silence you don't feel even a little melancholy, then you will have to make a different decision and that love was long gone.
3. Focus on yourself and your closest loved ones
This occasion for momentary separation is a good opportunity to think about yourself and perhaps to experience something you have never done before. This does not mean throwing yourself headlong into many and varied distractions, but to focus on what you consider important and what so, by spending time with just yourself, you will understand your feelings better.
In this period, however, you don't have to always be isolated: choose the company of the people you trust most, whether they are friends or family. Trust and vent your emotions with them: in this way you will not be able to go wrong. You may also find that while you were engaged full time in your love affair, you neglected these affections and this could be the right opportunity to recover the relationship with those who love you.
Get together
After the time for reflection has elapsed, both you and your partner will have come to a decision. If you have understood how strong your love is, it is time to start over. Like? Simply, getting to know each other again. Tell each other something new that you discovered about yourself while you were apart and maybe anecdotes you didn't know about each other. Tell him what you like about him and why you think he is the right man for you, what he made you understand. It will be like starting from the beginning, but with a strong feeling behind you. You have overcome the crisis, you have found yourselves and you have a life together ahead: good new beginning!
"Since I fell in love with you, everything has transformed and is so full of beauty ... Love is like a perfume, like a current, like rain. You know, my heaven, you are like rain and I, like the earth, receive and welcome you. "
Frida Khalo
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