I WANT TO BE HAPPY: HOW TO ACHIEVE TRUE HAPPINESS

Always seen as one of the most elusive and changeable states of mind, happiness seems to be everyone's goal, but who can say they really knew it? In reality, according to various books and studies, true happiness would be that not conditioned by external factors, that is, we would not be happy "if" or "when" a certain thing happens to us, but if we completely change our perspective with respect to everyday life. Thus, the classic request of "I want to be happy" would not depend on chance, on other people or on fortuitous blows of fate, but only on us.

On how to achieve happiness, books and even children's stories have been treated. In this article we have collected our strategy to make possible that "I want to be happy", a desire expressed by everyone and everyone, but rarely really achieved.

Do not live in the "conditional", but in the present

You may not have even noticed it, but most of the time we tend to speak using hypothetical periods that are detached from reality. "I would like to go on vacation", "I would like to fall in love", "I would like to start that" business "and even" I would like to be happy "are just a few examples of how often we project our well-being - and also our happiness - into a near time that doesn't coincides with the present.

Try to learn to change this perspective: don't focus on what you would like to do, where and with whom you would like to be, but look at what you are already doing and achieving right now. All this because we almost always take certain aspects of everyday life and life for granted, not recognizing their right value: you begin to notice the little things of the present, to focus on it and to set goals, but in the short term or, in any case, that they give you the right motivation to reach them immediately, without staying in an indefinite future that takes away certainties and damages your optimism.

See each day as a new opportunity

Classic scene: Monday morning, the alarm goes off, gloomy weather outside the window and immediately the mind jumps to the numerous commitments of the next few hours or even the whole week. those days that seem an obstacle to happiness. In reality, in the mantra of "I want to be happy", this modus operandi should change. In fact, there are no moments exempt from the possibility of being happy, because every day can be, first of all, a new opportunity to improve compared to yesterday.

It is not a question of setting daily limits that arouse anxiety if they are not respected, but this concept consists in looking at the things you do as an opportunity to try to improve day by day and to always learn something new. In addition, anyone's life is inscrutable, so even a rainy Monday can go beyond all expectations and put a pleasant and unexpected novelty on your path: even here, it all depends on the perspective of how you look at your life and everything you surrounds.

Remove prejudices and preconceptions

The question of prejudices is valid in both senses, that is: do not let yourself be influenced by what other people may think and, on the other hand, do not make sure that certain of your preconceptions preclude you from opportunities and that block the continuous path of growth that each of us faces over the years.

In fact, paying too much attention to what others might believe about you holds you back, makes you insecure, and puts a lot of anxiety and stress on you that doesn't make you "live in the moment". Concentrate on yourself, on what you like and on what seems right to you: when your actions are no longer conditioned by the oppressive external influence, you will immediately notice a more than positive change.

Likewise, get rid of "prepackaged" judgments about others and about various aspects of life. Unknowingly, we rely on prejudice because it gives us security. They are mental patterns that follow unwritten rules and keep us safe from unpredictability. However, judging from above all traps you and takes away opportunities for growth and reasons to leave your comfort zone, where you can know sides of yourself first. unpublished.

Face a fear of yours

In the stories and books they read to us as children, the protagonist always triumphed because he was able to put aside his anxieties and weaknesses in favor of something bigger and more important. Of course, in everyday life we are neither in a book nor in a film, but overcoming a fear is a way to feel satisfied, satisfied and happy. In fact, always being on guard, acting in a continuous defense mechanism and constantly staying in your comfort zone are actions that have the same effect as prejudices: they make you feel safe, but in the long run they block you.

To overcome something that scares you, ask yourself what what it is and answer sincerely. So, try to mark your three most important fears: depending on what you can and want to do at the moment, choose one and, without procrastinating, try to think of a gesture, even a small one, that you could make to deal with it. Winning this little big challenge will help improve your self-esteem and reward you immediately: another step on the road to happiness.

take care of you

It may seem like a trivial advice, but, if you want to be happy, in any book or manual you will find a rule: never forget the most important person, yourself and your love for yourself. No, it is not a selfish reasoning, because in order to be present for others, to be operative at work, a good friend, a "good mother for your children and everything else, you cannot and must not neglect the real you," with your passions and needs.

Self-care can be declined in various ways: putting on make-up, enjoying a relaxing massage, a shopping session, a concert of your favorite singer, going for a run or even just staying at home reading your favorite book or together. to the friends of a lifetime. As you may have guessed, any activity is welcome as long as it makes you feel good. Too often, we tend to underestimate how these little things are a remedy for the body and soul, essential to achieve happiness. Finally, always remember that taking care of yourself is not a selfish choice, but a right.

Help others

Love and taking care of oneself and helping one's neighbor are not two polar opposite gestures, on the contrary, both are functional to the achievement of happiness. Have you ever given directions to a tourist who seems to be lost? Well, after he thanked you and found your way again, didn't you feel satisfied and satisfied with yourself? That's right, being helpful makes someone feel good and to do so there is no need for great gestures or extraordinary actions, acts of courtesy are sufficient that sometimes we also tend not to notice.

This is because helping others makes you feel useful and directly affects your self-esteem. This kind of foresight should be addressed not only to people who know each other, but above all to strangers as a completely disinterested and unconditional gesture, that is, without expecting anything in return.

Remember that happiness is independent of possession

A famous phrase from the film Fight Club reads like this: «you are not your job. You are not the amount of money you have in the bank; you are not the car you drive or the contents of your wallet. You are not your designer clothes. ' In short, said even more simply, money does not bring happiness. Money certainly helps to take away some whim, like, in fact, an afternoon of shopping or some gift for ourselves, which never hurts the soul. However, what is wrong is to think that being happy revolves only around this. that feeling of well-being derived from a purchase lasts a few hours, at most a couple of days, but then it inevitably vanishes.

So, try to get away from the slogan of "continuous having" that seems more and more prevalent in the society of these years and focus on the aspects of your life that are not elusive, that is those made up of people and feelings, not material things.

Remove those who turn off your smile

As we are noticing, learning to be happy without "if" and "when" is all a matter of point of view and mental perspective, but, of course, we cannot have blinders to eliminate any external conditioning, either in a positive or a positive sense. negative. It is undeniable that in our life there are people who make us feel good and others, instead, a little less. However, over the years almost all of us have met individuals with whom we not only dislike spending our time, but who have a "really negative influence on our daily life and on our mood. Maybe they are envious, always discontented or they almost seem to have fun dismantling any other project, compromising both the self-esteem and the happiness of those around them.

Try to surround yourself with people who, like you, try to look at every situation in the right perspective and who help you to get up in the most difficult moments, not to break you down. Remember, happiness and negativity don't go together.

Forgive

Finally, here is the last step of our article to fulfill the desire to be happy. It may seem like the "simplest move" of all, but in reality, for most people, the stumbling block of forgiveness is more difficult than expected. First of all, it is good to say that forgiving does not mean forgetting: forgiving means choosing to move forward at the expense of a great suffering experienced in the past and which, probably, still has some repercussions in the present. Furthermore, it is scientifically proven that harboring anger and grudge negatively affects the functioning of the cardiovascular system, so why not give it a try?

Of course, forgiving is not always easy, but our advice to succeed is to ask yourself the question "is it worth it?". Answer honestly and if the answer is "no", let go of that weight that may have been weighing on your heart for years. Forgiveness not only makes you feel good physically but also mentally and is a fundamental step to be happy.