RESILIENCE: WHAT IT IS AND HOW TO IMPROVE THIS ABILITY

There are some words and ideas that we can say become "fashionable" from today to tomorrow. Maybe we hadn't heard of them until recently and then, all of a sudden, the people around us, the media and the social networks that we use in our daily lives begin to use that term whose real meaning often escapes. The concept of "resilience" falls into this category, applicable to various fields, including that of psychology.

Today we will discover what resilience is exactly, when it manifests itself, what its characteristics are and how we can improve this capacity in the life of each of us.

What does "resilience" mean

The term "resilience"comes from the Latin"resilate", that is to say "bounce', 'jump back". Generally, this word indicates the ability of a system to adapt to a change. For this reason it should not be confused with a similar term but with a different meaning, that of resistance. In fact, the latter is the action with which an attempt is made to effectively counteract the production of certain effects. Resilience, on the other hand, does not oppose an impact, an event or a circumstance, but sees adaptation or damping with respect to them.

As you can guess, the concept of resilience is applied to many scientific and non-scientific branches. For example, there is talk of resilience in the fields of engineering, computer science, biology and even risk management, where being resilient coincides with the intrinsic ability of a system to change its functioning before, during and after a change. However, here we will deal with resilience in psychology, where it can be defined as the ability to face in a positive way traumatic events, adversities and problems.

The characteristics of resilient people

Therefore, in psychology, resilience coincides with the ability to react positively to a trauma or a stressful situation, knowing how to re-organize one's life with dexterity without letting oneself be disheartened. Resilient people face difficulties by exploiting them to seize new opportunities and give a different impetus to their own existence. According to this definition, resilience may seem like a power similar to that of the superheroes we grew up with as children, but perhaps it will surprise us to know that this gift is in all of us and we use it even when we least realize it, at least in part.

However, there are individuals who in the course of life are more successful than others in encouraging this faculty and show the following characteristics:

Positivity and optimism: those who are resilient are also particularly optimistic and proactive towards changes and, in general, about life.
Large capacity of team working: Resilient people know how to work very well in groups, especially as coordinators. In fact, their flexibility with respect to unexpected events allows them to juggle in cases of adversity in an agile and dynamic way.
Commitment: a person's resilience is also revealed in the desire to get involved in various activities, without assuming a passive attitude.
Endowed with problem solving: in addition to commitment, those who are resilient stand out for their ability to solve problems. Every obstacle that runs into their path is exploited as an opportunity. Thus, problems are no longer obstacles but opportunities.
Appreciation for challenges: whether it is the world of work or private or social life, being resilient shows itself substantially in the predisposition to accept changes by not experiencing them as problematic.

Resilience does not mean imperturbability

In reading for the first time the characteristics of resilient individuals and how this gift shows itself on the outside, one might mistakenly think that these people are unscrambled and imperturbable by any event that happens to them. This is not the case. Having a high level of resilience is not it means not feeling the stresses and obstacles of life on your own skin and, in the same way, it does not make you immune from sadness, psycho-physical pain and other negative emotions. However, being resilient means having that inner strength and those necessary tools to face them in times of need, without being overwhelmed by them.

Furthermore, resilience is not a fixed and immutable ability in the personality of each of us. In fact, it involves a series of attitudes that can be learned and developed in order to be able to exercise it to the fullest.

Factors that can incentivize or diminish resilience

The various psychology studies have shown how there are factors that can increase or decrease the level of resilience of each individual. The former are called protective factors, while the latter those of risk.

Protective factors, also referred to as "development factors", are numerous and affect different areas of a person's life. Among them there are good self-esteem, a high level of self-control and sensitivity, grow peacefully in the family environment and enjoy social support, that is, the support that comes from the people most dear to us.

As for the risk factors, they make the individual more vulnerable and decrease his ability to bear pain, stress and the effects of anxiety and pressure. childhood and adolescence. Risk factors are those related to the emotional sphere, such as low self-esteem or isolation from others, and those related to the family environment, for example, poor bonding with parents or internal conflicts of the family itself.

How to improve your resilience

We have said how a development and an incentive of resilience in the life of every person is possible. To do this, we need to start implementing a series of behaviors that favor this adaptation to change and this propensity to positively exploit everything that usually appears negative to us.

First, experts recommend focusing on your values. To do this, you have to start from an assumption: what is really important to you? What kind of person do you want to be? Once you have clarified these two aspects, then you can use the resulting values to juggle the unpredictability of life.

Another technique that is useful is that of mindfulness and meditation. By practicing these exercises, you can develop a better knowledge of yourself and your mind, and you can learn to control your automatic reactions, thoughts and emotions depending on the occasion.

Finally, pay more attention to what is positive already in your life and do not be discouraged in the face of adversity or situations that you cannot change. We are used to being on the "in command" and choosing what we like or not: we customize anything according to our mood or our tastes, but we cannot do it for all aspects of existence. Sometimes it is necessary to face reality and accept events or circumstances that are completely beyond our control. The solution? Stop and observe all the other positive things that remain, despite that pain or disappointment. This doesn't mean giving up or throwing in the towel - it's simply a way of not causing further stress about an unchanging situation.

The best phrases about resilience

To conclude, we have collected the most beautiful phrases of psychologists and great authors of the present and of the past on resilience.

Resilience is not only the desire to survive at all costs, but also the ability to use the experience gained in difficult situations to build the future.
Andrea Fontana

Difficulties break some men, but strengthen others.
Nelson Mandela

For the resilient person, any defeat, even if it inevitably generates frustration, is seen as an opportunity to learn and improve.
Pietro Trabucchi

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
Lucio Anneo Seneca

The world breaks us all, but only a few become stronger where they were broken.
Ernest Hemingway

Resilience is not fixity, but dialectical movement. Resilience means jumping back, in order to take a run and, with momentum, overcome the obstacle.
Francesco Botturi

Failure is a part of our life. Success teaches you nothing, but failure teaches you resilience. It teaches you to take yourself and try again.
Sarah Morgan

Inner strength is the most powerful protection you have. Don't be afraid to take responsibility for your happiness.
Dalai Lama

Whoever has a strong enough why can overcome any how.
Friedrich Nietzsche

A good half of the art of living is resilience.
Alain de Botton