FUNNY PHRASES ABOUT CHRISTMAS: THE MOST BEAUTIFUL TO LAUGH WITH FRIENDS

We found the best funny phrases about Christmas on Twitter: some ironic and sarcastic, others written following the heart. Here is a selection of those not to be missed to laugh with friends during the holidays at home. Before reading and choosing the most suitable one to send immediately as a message, there is a video below to try your hand with your child in creating Christmas decorations from you for the Christmas tree.

Funny quotes and jokes about Santa Claus

I stopped believing in Santa when I was six. My mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked me for my autograph.
(Shirley Temple)

I think Santa Claus is offended with me by the time I asked him for the reindeer jacket.
(ilmarziano1, Twitter)

Dear Santa, if you want I can prepare the tub and fill it with foam. Since I've known you, you always have the same dress and you go around with six reindeer… you won't smell like lily of the valley. Under your armpits I know that moss grows for you to put in the crib.
(Luciana Littizzetto)

If Santa Claus taught me anything, it is that if you only show up once a year, everyone is happy to see you.
(Alexa1163, Twitter)

I went to a toy store and realized why Santa's letters all start with "Dear".
(Ty_il_nano, Twitter)

You understand that you are getting old when you are expecting the thirteenth and not Santa Claus for the Christmas holidays.
(Anonymous)

It is a red thing and comes regularly.
Santa Claus.
(Anonymous)

We did the Christmas tree.
The crib as well.
The snow is there.
“Last Christmas” plays on the radio.
We have the reindeer sweater.
Everything seems ready:
SANTA CLAUS YOU CAN ARRIVE, BRING US A BAG FULL OF MONEY.
(masse78, Twitter)

Dear Santa Claus, in the letter, the one at the bottom is the Iban.
(Nicks981, Twitter)

Santa has read your Facebook posts.
This year he will give you a dictionary.
(Anonymous)

Santa Claus is wearing a red suit, he must be a Communist. And a long beard and hair, he must be a pacifist. Who knows what's in that pipe he's smoking?
(Arlo Guthrie)

Dear Santa Claus, I was very good this year. Ok… maybe not always. Sometimes… Rarely… Aaah forget it, I'll buy it myself.
(Anonymous)

Funny phrases about Christmas gifts

The story of the Three Kings teaches us that two out of three Christmas gifts are shit.
(volleyball, Twitter)

-What are you giving me for Christmas?
-Nothing and you?
-Nothing.
-Have you seen ?! we have the ste
ssi tastes.
(ImDisagiato, Twitter)

I wanted to tell the man in my life that if he intends to take me to a mountain chalet at Christmas to kiss me under the mistletoe and give me the tips, let me know in time that I have to organize the holidays
(Anonymous)

One day you have savings and the next day you give gifts and the savings disappear.
I think that's what they mean when they talk about "Christmas magic".
(diodeglizilla, Twitter)

Christmas presents are divided into two: some open them and say "it's beautiful", for super ugly ones: "I really needed it!"
(Ester Viola, Twitter)

I'm eating a lot to pass the plush pajama test, 4 sizes more, which she will give me like every year, mom at Christmas.
(Barby_S_L, Twitter)

Christmas at 6 years old:
- dinner of 145 people
- 1500 gifts
- happiness
Christmas at 30:
- frozen pizza
- greeting letter
- depression
(Anonymous)

Sundays before Christmas:
I go around the shops
Anxiety
I have to make gifts
Anxiety
Little money
Anxiety
Christmas market
Anxiety
January move!
(Anonymous)

The time has come to choose the shop where my wife will change the Christmas present I will give her
(Swanito75, Twitter)

Christmas is like a day at the office. You do all the work of looking for gifts and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
(Anonymous)

funny phrases about Christmas to be original
A new construction site has opened near my house. It must be the Christmas present my grandfather asked for.
(diegoilmaestro, Twitter)

People who give you gift cards at Christmas just want you to queue for them. Not stupid.
(Leconquiosetout, Twitter)

If this year no one is going to send me gifts for Christmas, don't worry. Just tell me where you live and I'll come and pick them up by myself.
(Henny Youngman)

The worst gift is a fruit cake. There is only one fruit cake in the world, and people send it to each other.
(Johnny Carson)

"Do you know what? We will soon have a baby ”.
"Jokes?".
"No, we're going to have a baby: the doctor told me, he's sure. It will be my present for Christmas ”.
“But a tie was enough for me!”.
(Woody Allen)

At Christmas half of the world cannot understand how the other half of the world has dared to give him similar gifts.
(Anonymous)

Christmas of crisis for Italians. 7 out of 10 gifts will be recycled.
(Spinoza.it)

Christmas is not so much opening gifts as opening our hearts.
(Janice Maeditere)

Some suggestions for a Christmas gift.
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To your opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, the service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.
(Oren Arnold)

Two-year-old grandson exchanged the bow from his package for a gift. Christmas must be this stuff here. Pure astonishment.
(egyzia, Twittter)

Funny phrases about Christmas to reflect with irony

At Christmas they are all better. It's the before and after that worries me.
(Peanuts, Charles M. Schulz)

The Christmas holidays have officially started:
UNLEASH THE PAJAMAS.
(masse78, Twitter)

We want to listen to Christmas carols, eat pandoros, decorate the house and wear reindeer sweaters when and how much we want.
AND YOU WHO HATE CHRISTMAS GO AND BREAK THE BOXES A LITTLE FURTHER THANKS.
(masse78, Twitter)

Does the smartphone go to the right or left of the plate on the Christmas table?
(AurelMorgan, Twitter)

When I got up from the table they also applauded from the Nativity scene.
(Anonymous)

I look forward to Christmas to rediscover my highest values ...
cholesterol, triglycerides and blood sugar.
(Anonymous)

I only work one day a year. But the other 364 days I have to spend them with the Befana!
(Babbo25, Twitter)

-What do you want for Christmas?
-Money.
-No come on, something specific?
-1000 euros.
(masse78, Twitter)

-I of Christmas hate falsehood, hypocrisy and forced happiness, do you?
-The candied fruit.
(masse78, Twitter)

For the holidays I gave my students only one task: sleep, experience, experience the magic of Christmas, run, laugh, have fun.
No kidding, I gave him 120 paradigms to memorize for January 10th.
(HMqueenBee, Twitter)

For once, at Christmas, instead of asking, get something removed: a little acidity, a lot of nastiness and a lot of envy
(ValeSantaSubito, Twitter)

I'll explain the Christmas holidays:
-The more you sleep, the more sleepy you are.
-The more you eat, the hungrier you are.
-The longer you stay on the sofa, the more you feel like doing nothing.
(masse78, Twitter)

Christmas in an ironic key: choose your favorite phrases
NORTH Christmas Lunch:
-antipastino
-first
-fog
-coffee
SOUTH:
-12 appetizers
-7 first courses
-9 seconds
-5 tenths
-13 panettone
-1 Wise King
(dbric511, Twitter)

For me, Christmas Eve is copying and pasting “thank you, too”.
(marcosalvati, Twitter)

If I had to do commercial advertising, I would rely on the agency that invented Christmas.
(vincenzruggero, Twitter)

Christmas is a conspiracy to make single people feel that they are alone.
(Armistead Maupin)

In my opinion, more masks are worn at Christmas than at Carnival.
(postfisso2012, Twitter)

At Christmas we are all more clones.
(dark skin, Twitter)

For me, Christmas with the family means warmth (i) and.
(Diegoilmaestro, Twitter)

Those who wish you a "Merry Christmas" really want you to be well, but slightly less than they do.
(azael, Twitter)

Christmas took me a lot to understand love. In the end, it's about waiting for someone who doesn't exist who brings things you don't like
(Nonfaretardi, Twitter)

- "It's a diamond!" [said the wish]
- "It's a Vuitton!" [said hope]
- "Do you like these pajamas?" [the boyfriend exclaimed]
(FranAltomare)

At Christmas my grandmother gave me the money in secret, slipping it off her sleeve and saying “Don't tell your grandfather anything”. And my grandfather did the same.
(NicolaBrunialti, Twitter)

According to him, humanity was divided into two large enemy groups: the cribs and the tree operators. “It is a subdivision - said the uncle - so important that it should appear on the identity documents, no more and no less than the sex and blood group. Otherwise it may happen that an unfortunate person discovers, only after marriage, that he has joined a human being with different Christmas tendencies ”.
(Luciano De Crescenzo)

Proverbs, poems, thoughts to make Christmas greetings

Three things are needed to make a Christmas tree: ornaments, the tree and faith in the future.
(Armenian proverb)

Don't worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 meters tall.
(Larry Wilde)

Where are the children they don't have
Christmas tree
with the silver snow, the candles
and the chocolate fruits?
Quick, quick, gather, we go
on the planet of Christmas trees,
I know where it is.
(Gianni Rodari)

The perfect Christmas tree? All Christmas trees are perfect!
(Charles N. Barnard)

Christmas.
Drunken hot starry
and like zabaglione
energetic and fattening.
(Francesca Genti)

If I were the wizard of Christmas, I would have a Christmas tree sprout in every house, in every apartment from the floor tiles!
(Gianni Rodari)

But what if he really came?
If the prayer, the letter, the desire
expressed like this, mostly for fun
was taken seriously?
If the kingdom of fairy tale and mystery
would come true?
(Dino Buzzati)

At Christmas I like that everything stops at a certain point, like a sudden stop after a fast race.
And stay with those who love you.
(Swanito75, Twitter)

He dressed, the best he had, and went out on the street. People poured out, as he had seen them with the Spirit of Christmas present. Walking with his hands behind him, Scrooge looked at everyone with a smile of satisfaction. He was so cheerful, so irresistible in his cheerfulness, that three or four pleasant chiefs greeted him: “Good morning, sir! Happy Christmas!" And Scrooge often stated later that of all the joyful sounds heard in his life, the most joyful, undoubtedly, had been those.
(Charles Dickens)

I love snow for the same reason I love Christmas: it brings people together, while time stands still. Couples holding hands lazily meander through the streets and children pull sleds and chase each other with snowballs. No one seems to be in the running to experience anything other than glory of the day.
(Rachel Cohn)

Christmas is a suspension of time in which everyone, from the poor to the emperor, is entitled to an equal moment of joy and serenity.
(Fabrizio Caramagna)

Other aphorisms and funny phrases for Christmas

It is good to be a child again sometimes and there is no better time than Christmas, when its almighty founder was himself a child ....
(Charkes Dickens)

Childhood is believing that with a Christmas tree and three snowflakes the whole earth is changed.
(André Laurendeau)

I wish I could put the spirit of Christmas inside a jar and be able to bring it out month by month, little by little ..
(Harlan Miller)

Sometimes I think we expect too much from Christmas Day. We try to group together in that single day the long arrears of goodness and humanity of the whole year. I like to take Christmas a little at a time, throughout the year. And so I get carried away until I get to the holidays - I let them take me by surprise - waking up one day and suddenly saying to myself: "Wow, this is Christmas day!"
(David Grayson)

If Christmas came once every hundred years instead of once a year, and it came with a flash of lightning, how wonderful people would open their hearts, how generously they would give to others! The repeated succession of births, on the other hand, now suggests only a duty, a habit, a necessity to be repeated mechanically.
(Fabrizio Caramagna)

A Christmas candle is a beautiful thing;
It makes no noise,
But it softly offers itself.
(Eva Logue)

Christmas is nothing more than this immense one
silence that spreads through the streets,
where blind plane trees
laugh with the snow,
(Maria Luisa Spaziani)

I thought of Christmas, as it approached, with a strange bad mood, with an anomalous fear. As if it were a knot, a dead knot, which for a long time I had persisted in untying, repeatedly, and which instead became tighter and tighter with each attempt.
(Salvatore Mannuzzu)

What is Christmas? It is tenderness for the past, courage for the present, hope for the future. It is the burning desire that each cup can overflow with rich and eternal blessings, and that each path can lead to peace.
(Agnes M. Pahro)
phrases and aphorisms to send Christmas greetings
More aphorisms and funny phrases about Christmas
Christmas is the only time of the year in which a bearded man can lay down a package whose contents are unknown, and leave without anyone getting worried.
(Freddyglx, Twitter)

Christmas. Today for believers is the birthday of Jesus, for atheists the anniversary of the birth of Sir Isaac Newton.
(Anonymous)

There is nothing so sad as waking up on Christmas morning and remembering that you are no longer a child.
(Erma Bombeck)

You know you've grown up when none of the things you want for Christmas can be bought in a store.
(Anonymous)

The three phrases that summarize Christmas are: Peace on earth, may your Christmas be full of joy, and batteries not included.
(Anonymous)

In my crib there are too many sheep but I don't want to remove them.
I put a wolf.
(Zziagenio78, Twitter)

The shepherds of my nativity scene are lined up with smartphones in hand to take turns taking a selfie with the baby Jesus.
(Rubinomauro, Twitter)

How would you say that not even this year have they found the cure for those who hang Santas on the roof?
(Dbric511, Twitter)

The Christmas holidays only serve to remind me that I can't stand my relatives.
However, you have to keep them good; otherwise, when you die, they put the one in which you are gargling as a photo on the grave.
(Daniele Luttazzi)

Christmas menu
- Appetizers
- White wine
- Red wine
- Meat and fish cart
- Pandoro and Panettone
- Bubbly wine
- Digestive
- Digestive
- Digestive
- Digestive
(Anonymous)
funny phrases about Christmas to laugh together
I believe that the magic of Christmas is being able to gain 10 kg in 24 hours.
(Grim Reaper, Twitter)

Christmas is magic. In fact, when the relatives arrive I disappear.
(Zziagenio78, Twitter)

Ermine, fox, mink, ram, rabbit. Tonight at the Holy Mass you will feel like you are in the zoo.
(ItsCetty, Twitter)

Santa Claus has several names ... Kris Kringle, Saint Nicholas, Mastercard ...
(Phyllis Diller)

Are those who are afraid of Santa Claus called Claustrophobics?
(Anonymous)

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would have to be invented.
(Katharine Whitehorn)

Let us prepare ourselves for Christmas with an indulgent, affectionate soul. Our teeth, which too often grind with anger, have peace at least these days.
(Fruttero and Lucentini)

"Well, it doesn't look like me at all"
(Cit. San Giuseppe)
(Dondindan, Twitter)

Joseph went to register Jesus in the registry office, very embarrassed when the clerk asked: "Name of the father?".
(ItsCetty, Twitter)

If you take away Jesus, Christmas can only become an orgy of food, a horde of fake smiles and a pile of empty wishes.
(Don Dino Pirri)