Couple crisis: causes, signs and how to overcome it
In love they are not always roses and flowers. Of course, at the beginning of a relationship everything seems to be perfect, but time can ruin the love romance, despite the strong feeling that binds the two partners. The term "couple crisis" is as frightening as it is to say "pause for reflection". It seems that both of them mark the end of a relationship, while, if exploited in the right way, they can make it reborn. The causes that lead to a turbulent period in the life of a couple are many and vary from story to story, but fortunately there are solutions to overcome all this.
Before revealing to you what are the symptoms and the alarm bells that signal a couple crisis and how it is possible to get out of it, remember that very often the difficulties with the person you love begin when the dialogue is interrupted. Never silence your feelings and always take something like love for granted.
The causes behind a couple crisis
Understanding if you are experiencing a couple crisis, after all, is not so difficult. When a continuous tension seems to hover in the air, when the discussions overcome the conversations made in peace and the desire to be in company with the partner has practically reduced to zero, then you are in the midst of a full-blown crisis. , before we get to this situation, there are many alarm bells that warn us that our relationship is taking a turn that is anything but positive. But what is behind all this? Obviously, the causes and reasons can be different depending on the couple, but the most common are certainly these.
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1. The burden of habit
It is scary for all couples and often seems to be inevitable. The establishment of a habit within a relationship can have several consequences: some positive, because the two partners create their own pace to carry on their relationship, others decidedly negative and this is where various alarm bells go off. that warn of the arrival of a crisis.
First of all, routine can become the number one enemy of "intimacy. With" intimacy "we do not indicate only the sexual sphere, certainly important and essential for every love story, but also that mental complicity, made up of understanding and confidences. If there is a loss of intimacy and a separation occurs, then the dialogue fails and both the harmony between the two partners and the fun collapse. Being together seems like an obligation and not a choice.
The loss of intimacy also leads to a lack of care of one's appearance. Of course, in a relationship, it is okay to show yourself to your better half as you are, without makeup and not necessarily in elegant clothes, but a lack of attention to yourself indicates a feeling of boredom, dissatisfaction and frustration. All this leads to a further decline in passion, thus establishing a vicious circle.
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2. Betrayal
Betrayal is a difficult subject, because it can be both a cause of the couple crisis and an alarm bell. In the latter case, the betrayal occurs immediately after the loss of intimacy and the estrangement between the two lovers. partner "punishes" the other by betraying him or looking for the attention now vanished within the life of a couple in the arms of another person. If, on the other hand, the betrayal were the spark of the conflict, then those who have been betrayed will have to reflect and choose whether they are ready to forgive and try to rebuild the relationship, which may have lasted years, or to definitively close the love story.
3. The birth of a child
It might seem strange, since the birth of a baby is an event, in itself, it is a source of immense joy. However, it is also one of the most frequent causes that can trigger or increase, if it already exists, a couple crisis. Again, the reasons may be different.They range from feeling neglected by a partner to the decline or complete lack of complicity between the two lovers due to the newcomer in the family. Remember that if you and your partner were already experiencing a difficult period in your history, choosing to have a child is not a solution at all. Indeed, very often it just makes the situation worse.
As we have seen, it often happens that the causes and signals of a crisis get confused. In addition to those already identified, other alarm bells, to understand if your relationship is in crisis, are the continuous need to lie or hide some things, constant criticism of your partner, an almost maniacal jealousy, a symptom of lack of trust. , and a strong need to be alone or with your family, because your certainties in love are wavering and, therefore, you feel you have to "cling" to the "anchors of your life", what are your family or friends more trustworthy.
How to overcome the couple crisis
Overcoming a relationship crisis requires teamwork. In fact, both partners must be willing to get involved, acknowledge their own faults and not continually blame the other. If you are experiencing a similar situation, we recommend that you follow these 5 steps to recover your relationship and give it a new start. This does not mean forgetting the past, but taking it as a starting point to try to improve and grow together.
1. Seek and understand the causes of the crisis
Blaming each other leads nowhere. Getting a relationship started requires careful work on yourself together with your partner. Ask yourself what was wrong in the last period, research alone and with your partner the possible causes that have brought you up to that point and the signs you have not listened to. To do this, many couples find it necessary to resort to therapy. as a couple, especially if, at the beginning, you are unable to carry on a peaceful conversation. Whatever the chosen strategy, researching the causes of the crisis is the first fundamental step to take, in order to learn the lessons of the past in a constructive way.
2. Rediscover the dialogue
As we have already anticipated, in the midst of a crisis we don't talk to each other and the more we lock ourselves in our bubble, the worse the situation gets. Therefore, if you have noticed this attitude in your story, the time has come to rediscover the dialogue with your partner. Rediscovering dialogue does not only mean starting to talk to each other again, but knowing how to do it. In fact, when a couple is in crisis, they tend to reduce dialogue but also exchange cold and angry jokes. In this way, a solution will never be reached. the deeper ones, it is as important as learning to accept the opinions of others even if different from your own.
3. Forgive
If you and your boyfriend have come through a crisis, it is obvious that there have been faults on both sides. Of course in some cases the guilt is more "evident" than others, as for the betrayal, but you must always understand if you are willing to forgive. If you do this and you really want to get over the crisis, then it must be a definitive choice. This means that if you have a fight in the future, you can't blame that old betrayal as an argument in your favor, because forgiveness requires sincerity and honesty. On the other hand, the partner who has betrayed will have to show all his commitment to deserve that forgiveness, trying to regain the trust of his sweetheart.
4. Rebuild intimacy
This is one of the biggest problems for any couple in crisis as, likewise, it represents an essential step to take in recovering the relationship. Rediscovering intimacy means rediscovering both passion and mental harmony. To do this, you need to go back to confiding in your partner, revealing your desires and fears, rebuilding that emotional and affective bond that was dissolving. Once you have found the complicity in dialogue, it will also be easier to recover physical and passionate intimacy, the loss of which was one of the first signs of "turbulence" within the relationship.
5. Breaking the mold
It is true that habit can become a source of conflict, but it could also be good if exploited in the right way. In fact, it is normal for a certain routine to be established in everyday life. The important thing is to know how to use it to your advantage , that is, when there is an opportunity, it must be broken. Whether it's on weekends, during some holidays or even a weekday, do something that makes both of you feel good, perhaps going out with friends, taking a course or a sport together or, if possible, retiring for one or more days in one place. lost. Only in this way will it be possible to face and appreciate everyday life with a different spirit, positive and open to the future.
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