6 attitudes to avoid so that your relationship does not fail
Being in a couple is not easy: quarrels and tensions happen to everyone, even the most close-knit ones! To prevent the situation from escalating and your relationship from failing, be careful to avoid these completely counterproductive attitudes: they will help you strengthen the bond with your partner and turn you into one of those truly indestructible couples!
1. Don't stonewall
Dialogue in a couple must be the basic element, whether it is about sex or relationship problems. It is therefore useless, if you and your partner are arguing, refuse to answer and obstruct, perhaps reserving a silence that can last for days and days. This closure only increases the problem and is counterproductive: the solution must be sought together and it is essential to work together to find it. Rather, if you feel unable to address the issue at the moment, ask him to give you time to reflect, but don't do it as if it were a spite. And if you are trying to punish him, always remember that the victim of your stonewalling will not be him, but you will both be.
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2. Stay on his side
You may not agree with him 100%, but publicly going against him is not the best way to make a relationship work. The couple must give each other security: you must know that you can count on your partner and he on you, you must succeed. to really feel like two allies and not two people fighting each other. This does not mean always having to agree on everything, on the contrary! But it is simply nice to know that - however things go - he will always be ready to stay by your side , and you to his.
Don't underestimate the importance of good sexual intimacy!
3. Don't lose your cool
Arguments are inevitable and sooner or later they happen to everyone. The important thing is to stay calm. Losing your temper only leads to making things worse and to uttering words that you may not even think about or to making decisions that we will be the first to regret. Calm is a great virtue and it is certainly not easy to exercise, yet you know very well that with a cold mind the situation appears more lucid: it is only then that you will be able to make sensible choices for yourself and for your story. Provided that it is not him who loses his temper in the couple ...
4. Don't express contempt
If you get to feel a gesture of contempt for your partner, it means that something is wrong and the relationship is unlikely to heal. If it's just anger, avoid humiliating him with jokes or comments that would make him feel like nothing and undermine his self-esteem: they are wounds that are difficult to heal and hurting the person you love (or have loved) is never beautiful. In these moments, focus on the reasons that made you fall in love with him, bring back to the heart the first emotions and his best qualities. If not even then you will have a burst of admiration, perhaps it is time to close, but without showing off contempt.
5. Don't deny
Your responsibilities must never be denied. Never. Being on the defensive only has the result of increasing suspicion and tension between you and your partner (and men, especially in matters of sex, often and willingly deny ...). We repeat it again: dialogue is the only viable way to make things work. Hiding to avoid conflict inevitably leads to the failure of history. On the other hand, being together means being 100% yourself and no side of us, however unpleasant it may be, it must be kept secret. True love will be the one capable of understanding and accepting the limits of the other.
6. Don't criticize all the time
This isn't the first time your partner has pointed out to you that you criticize him all the time, even for minor things. Of course, explaining to him what you think is wrong or does not work is more than fair, but be careful not to overdo it and that criticism does not become the only way you relate to him: try to hold back and let some time pass. before expressing yourself. If it is something really important, it will stick in your head and you will talk about it later. If, on the contrary, it was nothing relevant, after the moment you will forget about it and you will have prevented yet another not very constructive quarrel. And don't forget that the stick is ok, but sometimes you also need a carrot ... here are some suggestions for you to remind him that, despite everything, you really love him:
