Finished love: how to understand when a story is over

Loving is so short, forgetting so long.
Pablo Neruda

In the early days, living a relationship of love seems almost a daydream. The phase of falling in love is characterized by strong and positive emotions, where the qualities of the partner are enhanced and everything seems to be perfect. After this first idyllic period, however, the first conflicts, discussions or even discover different aspects of the partner that we do not like can arise. There we enter the phase of true love: overcoming these difficulties is one of the tests to understand if our story can really work or not. However, love can end. When it happens, it does not happen suddenly, but it gives us different signals and it is up to us to know how to grasp them.

If you feel that your relationship is hopelessly coming to an end, the watchword is not to settle. We know that doing this could be difficult and painful, but to succeed you must put your love for yourself in front of everything and strengthen your self-esteem. .

Symptoms of a broken love

As already mentioned, an important love story that may have lasted for years does not end out of the blue, but there are several signs that warn us over time.

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1. The future together is no longer envisaged

During a relationship, there comes that moment when the couple begins to think about the future, both imminent and further away. For example, you can make plans to spend a holiday together, on how to pass a certain holiday or on even more decisive turning points in the life of both partners, such as going to live together or starting a family. Whether it is short or long term, envisioning the future together is essential to understand if the love between you is strong and stable.If, on the other hand, you do not see yourself with that person except in the present, then it is already a symptom of a possible couple crisis and exhaustion of love.

2. Separate lives

Within a couple, it is important that both partners have their own space. Attend friends without the constant presence of your partner, be together with your family and carry out your usual activities, whether it is the gym, a particular sport or any other hobbies such as painting or something with DIY, are fundamental steps so that the relationship does not become a living in symbiosis. However, these common and healthy spaces from your partner should never "take over". In fact, if you do not find never the time (or you don't want to find it) to see you or if you only cross paths at home if you live together, then your attraction is drastically decreasing and this can lead to a weakening of the love feeling.

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3. Confidence fails

Among the fundamental elements for a "peaceful and stable love story" is trust. Trusting your partner avoids clashes and quarrels dictated by blind jealousy, as well as being one of the cornerstones of love itself. absence or with whom you write on the various social networks even if he has not given you reason to doubt him, then it may be that the trust, essential for true love, is failing within the couple.

4. There is interest in other people

Just as trust is essential, so too is "being faithful to your partner. It is true that very often you do not arrive at an authentic betrayal, but feeling attraction towards some other person is already a symptom of a weakening not only of passion. towards the partner, but also of love per se. All this is revealed both in the ways of doing things, or behaving in the presence of others "as a single", flirting a little ", and in conversations, when trying to leave out the fact of being already engaged in" another story. A relationship should be a reason for "pride": hiding it is the same as not being satisfied with it and preferring that it does not exist.

5. Opposite poles that no longer attract

How many times have you heard the phrase "opposites attract"? As obvious as it may be, in a certain sense, this is one of the most truthful phrases in the context of a relationship. In fact, being different from your partner is a reason for fascination and attraction at the beginning of the relationship, especially in the phase of falling in love. Seeing the other side of the coin in him seduces us and leads us to want to know him better. However, when that typical harmony of true love has been created, it is necessary to share something with your partner. By this, we do not mean all the favorite hobbies or musical genres, but the important values ​​and some interests. meeting point, how can you be together? Having a partner who is completely the polar opposite of your values ​​is the same as settling for someone just to want a relationship and this is not love.

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Why does a love end?

There is no one and only reason why a love ends. It depends on the dynamics of each couple, the years of duration of the relationship and many other factors. Time certainly has a strong impact. In fact, with the establishment of habits and daily life, the continuous "surprise" that characterizes the phase of falling in love is eliminated. If we add to this the lack of dialogue, the expectations being disregarded and the discovery of being incompatible, the complications within the relationship multiply, making it more and more difficult. There are, then, even more serious cases where love vanishes. following an episode that creates irreparable damage, such as betrayal.

However, a couple may decide to continue to remain together even when they understand that the love is over. This choice is usually dictated more by habit than by feeling, which leads both partners to settle for a situation that it used to make them happy. In other cases, the love can end and the relationship ends, but the two former lovers continue to love each other throughout their lives.

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Phrases about love over

When a love ends there cannot be but pain and suffering. The end of a relationship can also lead to the so-called love sickness, which for many is identified as a real "disease" of the soul. These strong emotions have also shaken great authors of the past and contemporaries who have written several touching phrases about "finished love."

No one approaches a broken heart without the high privilege of having suffered the same.
Emily Dickinson

Here, you see, I've fallen in love twice in my life, but seriously, and both times I was sure it would be forever and until death, and both times it's over and I'm not dead.
Hermann Hesse

We were the one who is neither told nor admitted, but never forgotten.
Frida Kahlo

Very often, to be able to discover that we are in love, perhaps even to become one, the day of separation must arrive.
Marcel Proust

You were the last dream of my soul.
Charles Dickens

When in love you stop fighting, love is gone.
Søren Kierkegaard

I have often suffered, sometimes I have been wrong; but I loved. It is I who have lived, and not a fictional being created by my pride and my boredom.
Alfred de Musset

To love something you have to realize that we could lose it.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton