Difficult adolescence: learning to manage children at this stage of life
Slam the doors, raise your voice, punish ... the life of parents is not always easy, especially when the child reaches the fateful age of adolescence. Which parent has not found it difficult to manage this difficult phase of life? they wish that everything will go well and in some cases it is so, for others it is only the beginning of a very hard and particular period.
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Struggles for power, constant negotiations, questioning of authority, some parents quickly feel overwhelmed and helpless in front of their teenage children: "pushes me to the limit", "I've tried everything", "it's a constant punishment" these are just some of the most frequent complaints during the difficult adolescence of children.
How can this be remedied? How can you deal with a guy at this stage in life without getting into a fight? If all seems lost, who to ask for help?
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Difficult adolescence and provocations
"It's wearing me out, I can't take it anymore." Most parents try it all out, but they get to the point of being unable to handle all of their child's behaviors. Often the difficulty lies in no longer recognizing your child who a moment before was a cheerful and smiling child, and now he is grumpy and always on his own.
All this is due precisely to adolescence, and we would like to underline that it is a phase of life (like many others) that is completely normal and temporary.
Why does a teenager feel the need to question parental authority at this particular time in their life?
First of all because the boy in this period is building a new identity completely detached from that of his parents. This explains why adolescents systematically question the rules they have been taught since childhood and wonder if they still apply.
It is then up to the parents to review certain prohibitions which were in force during childhood and which for obvious reasons can no longer be valid.
Parents are tested
What your child will try to do in adolescence is challenge yourself and test your limits. It will seem that they do it with gusto, but it is absolutely not the case, it is part of their growing process.You as a parent, you absolutely must not give in to provocations because you would do nothing but play his game.
The adolescent who pushes his parents to the limit does it to understand what the boundaries are not to be crossed; moreover, the discussions that are established daily serve to make him grow and to make him understand how to assert his opinion even when it will be discussed later. with his peers.
How to make yourself respected in difficult adolescence
Understanding the right path to take for a constructive dialogue with a teenager is very difficult. If he breaks one or more rules, is it better to get angry or look for a solution? Anything will seem wrong to you, we know.
Staying calm in all circumstances is the first thing to do. After that it is essential to explain to your child the limits that have been imposed on them, to be consistent, caring and to have their social integration at heart. All this is fundamental for the younger generation, and if the parents do not do it, society will do it in a much more brutal way.
What punishments to adopt during difficult adolescence?
Despite attempts at peaceful dialogue, does your child continue to do what he wants and break the rules you have established with impunity? Do not give up.
Punishment is necessary, but it must be well thought out and not dictated by anger. Which are the most effective?
There are a number of effective punishments that serve to make the teenager think:
- ask him to apologize for his behavior
- carry out particular activities at home (washing dishes, tidying up, etc.)
- being deprived of activities that are not useful for its development and which are abused (video games, mobile phones, etc ...)
Remember: emphasize the duration of the punishment well and respect it, it will help to better affirm your authority as a parent.
Get help if you can't take it anymore
Despite all the attempts and good will, you just can't talk to your child? If the situation has become unmanageable, better run for cover.
An idea could be to get help from a relative with whom we see that the teenager has a peaceful relationship. It is possible to temporarily pass the baton to an uncle, a grandfather and have them speak with the boy. In the most serious cases, it is possible to have a child psychiatrist intervene and ask for advice even in the absence of your child.
Most parents today do not give up easily in the face of difficulties. On the contrary, they are very concerned about the well-being of their teenagers. They are concerned about the education they are giving them and put enormous pressure on themselves, always demanding the best. They are working harder than before and the difficult adolescence phase turns out to be another litmus test for them.
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