3 questions to understand if you are too maternal and suffocating with him
Loss of desire, feeling of dependence, difficulty in being authentic in the relationship, the perception of being taken for granted.Before setting off to attack your partner about not being up to you, and maybe not being able to take care of you, because he doesn't return your attention and is distracted, ask yourself: "How much responsibility do I have on the subject?" And if I were to have made him believe that it could be okay like this? "But how to put a pinch of clarity in all this chaos? With these three useful questions to understand if you are excessively maternal with your him ... until he makes him feel more like a child who like a companion, look at what we talk about:
1. Do you have the irrepressible instinct to always protect him?
The need to protect the people we love - friends, family, partners - comes naturally. The absolute need, however, to continually protect your partner, with the anxiety that he may break in the face of the difficulties of his own life, is not good! If you, as an anxious mother, have to protect your man from his life, then he will get used to it. to rely on you 100%, and even if the guarantee is that he will always need you to feel safe, it is not sad the idea that he is not able to look after himself and that you give him this luxury assuming that you will always be there to protect him? Sooner or later it will be you who will need to count on someone, and then it will have been you who have accustomed them to something else.
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2. Do you care more about his problems than yours?
When he has a problem, that problem becomes yours, and the problem becomes the constant focus of your relationship. By taking on thoughts and responsibilities, which may not compete with you, the center of gravity of the relationship shifts everything to its problems. Obviously this makes you indispensable, but also closer to a mother-friend who is always ready to solve any problem, than to a life partner-subject of desire. If you first make his problems more important than you and you, you put him first, more than he does alone. Why then do you complain if he takes you for granted?
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3. Do your needs disappear behind his?
When a man is very demanding, and tends to require a lot of attention, to occupy all the space of the relationship with his own priorities (we could talk about selfishness) that include yours in a small part, it is difficult to make himself heard and assert his own needs. . It is easier to succumb to the decidedly more maternal instinct of giving priority to the needs of those we love, perhaps making ourselves, even little by little, aside. In the long run, however, this generates not only imbalances in the relationship, "scarifying" partner, but also dissatisfaction. And precisely from this dissatisfaction, misunderstandings, betrayals, sorrows can arise. If you are the first to value your needs, judging them equal to those of those you have chosen as your partner, then even those around you will feel they owe you give space and have to respect you.
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With a pinch of self-analysis, honesty and dialogue you can change those habits and those balances of the relationship that are close to us, just work together in the same direction, and over time I got rid of some clichés too many with which you grew up:
