Stealthing: taking off the condom without the consent of your partner
It is known that playing during sex can be useful in increasing the pleasure and degree of intimacy in the couple, but, when consent is involved, playing is no longer so fun. When a person is not 100% consenting and for the entire duration of the relationship and the partner ignores this predisposition, we inevitably enter into the merits of sexual violence. Although currently little known, stealthing deserves a mention in this regard, a phenomenon whereby, during sexual intercourse, a man takes off a condom secretly from his partner and without asking for his permission. It is important to talk about it so as to become aware of the issue and to know every risk that both victims and perpetrators can face.
And, speaking of sexual intercourse, watch this video and find out everything there is to know about contraception.
So is stealthing
As previously mentioned, Stealthing is a non-consensual sexual practice that affects both heterosexual and homosexual relationships, both vaginal and anal sex, for which the man, during the sexual act, decides to take off the condom without his knowledge. of the partner and, therefore, without his consent. Although it is a phenomenon still little known, its severity should not be underestimated, since it is similar to that of a rape, and, indeed, it is essential to sensitize men and women on the subject, especially in the adolescent years, when the individual begins to have sexual intercourse and it is good that you are aware of the importance of contraception.
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How the Stealthing phenomenon was born
Alexandra Brodksy, a civil rights attorney, took care of uncovering this Pandora's box. Brodsky, comparing herself with friends and acquaintances, realized the alarming frequency with which this act was put into practice, causing a strong sense of unease in the person who had it, unknowingly, suffered. The woman then felt it was time to talk about it openly and did so in an article, later published in the Colombia Journal Of Gender and Law. Its goal was clear: to raise people's awareness of a phenomenon, up to that moment, still little known and to urge victims to denounce what is "a serious violation of dignity and autonomy".
Why do some men practice stealthing?
Since then, hundreds of testimonies have been collected on the internet that highlight the existence of a problem that must be eradicated as soon as possible. Originally, the age-old hostility that some men reserve towards condoms, a tool that not only prevents unwanted pregnancies, but is also the only means we have at our disposal to defend ourselves against sexually transmitted diseases.
“It bothers me”, “I don't feel anything”, “it's too tight”. These are some of the most popular excuses with which man feels entitled not to use it. But stealthing is even more subtle, because, in this case, one's refusal is not made explicit. Therefore, to avoid being denied the sexual performance, some decide to get around this by sneaking off the condom in the middle of intercourse.
But there is no limit to the worst. Online, in fact, some communities have come to life with the intention of spreading the word of stealthing and, consequently, their own seed. The members of these virtual aggregations have the clear conviction that it is of its own right and, for those wishing to have information and advice on it, there are even forums where real tutorials on how to implement stealthing are provided.
What are the risks of stealthing?
This non-consensual practice, in addition to being a real abuse, is quite dangerous and involves serious risks for both members of the couple. The condom, in fact, not only protects against unwanted pregnancies, but also and above all from sexually transmitted diseases, such as the HIV virus, chlamydia, gonorrhea and the list could go on and on. These diseases can cause very serious consequences for the individual who is affected and that is why it is urgent to protect oneself always and in any case during sexual intercourse, even with stable partners.
There is a "female" stealthing
Stealthing isn't just about men. The phenomenon, in fact, can also be declined in the female, when, for example, a woman damages the condom of her partner by piercing it without him noticing it. Often, what pushes women to behave in this way is an unstoppable desire for motherhood, a desire obviously unrequited by the partner in question, whose will is, in this way, completely ignored and trampled on. Even in cases like this, there is a real abuse.
Is stealthing a crime?
Stealthing is not a sexual preference, but a full-fledged abuse. If implemented, in fact, it can seriously compromise a person's life, denying him / her full control of his body during the sexual act. Illnesses, pregnancies, a sense of mistrust and fear of being judged "naive" or "careless", these are some of the consequences that this shameful practice brings and which, for this reason, is condemned as a crime in the United Kingdom, in Switzerland and Germany. Now, however, we expect the same treatment in Italy too.
