The first love: because it changes our life
Maybe it's been years. In this period of time, you have had several stories, some more positive or more important than others, but you will certainly never forget about a relationship: that of your first love. There is no fixed age for which to live it: there are people who experience it even before adolescence and who, on the other hand, meet it in a more adult phase of life. What is certain is that the first love is never forgotten. never.
First of all, it is the first time that he makes us understand when we are in love. In fact, love triggers a series of signals on our body and mind that do not go unnoticed and that we explain to you in this short video:
There is a long series of books and films from the world of cinema that tell of the first love. We hear so much about it that it has become almost a myth of the collective imagination, a romantic archetype that awakens in us contrasting emotions, a mixture of romanticism and nostalgia. Today we will discover why first love is really important, what role it plays in the existence of each of us and we will also see the scientific explanation of why we can never forget it.
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First love shapes us
"How can a biological phenomenon as important as first love be explained in terms of chemistry and physics?"
Albert Einstein
Everyone has their own times, but normally we experience our first love in the pre-adolescence phase or precisely in the fateful years as a teenager, where everything seems new and we begin to discover who we really are. Thus, the first relationship with a boy or a girl who are not just friends helps us to enter the world of adults. That person pays attention to you outside your family unit and your circle of friends and it is therefore essential to take a first step towards independence and move away even just a little from the "roots" to which up to that moment you have been tied up.
First love helps us discover ourselves
"First love is just a little madness and a lot of curiosity."
George Bernard Shaw
Experiencing that embryonic phase of life as a couple, the first love is also an accomplice in making us better discover who we are. It may seem absurd, but being a "we" for the first time is essential to understand our "I" more deeply. With your loved one next to you, see and experience new situations: find out what you like and what you are looking for in a partner and what you are waiting for, instead, annoy you. Some people understand precisely on this occasion that they prefer a companion next to them who leaves them the right spaces, while others notice that they tend towards a more symbiotic relationship, with frequent demonstrations of affection.
In short, the first love is the litmus test of how we are in terms of relationships and constitutes the preparatory experience for future stories.
The first love is the whole of all the first times
"The first kiss is not given with the mouth, but with the eyes."
Tristan Bernard
Your first relationship with your loved one is certainly a reason for new experiences and a source of inspiration for the future. In fact, when you fall in love for the first time, you reach fundamental stages of our path of personal growth. The partner you have alongside in that period he becomes a witness of this development, as well as the main support we need. Obviously, in this long list of firsts, first love also brings with it those of a more physical and passionate nature. The first kiss is the first sexual encounter remain in the memory of everyone at the expense of time and bad memories that, perhaps, can be followed due to the end of that story.
The first love remains the emblem of youth
"Every young person remembers his first love and tries to recapture that strange moment, the memory of which changes his deepest feelings and makes him so happy, despite all the bitterness of its mystery."
Kahlil Gibran
It's true that first love is never forgotten, but this isn't just limited to the person you fell in love with. In fact, when you think back to the first lived story, memories and emotions that go beyond the partner come back to mind. The moment of youth, when everything seems possible and where everything is simpler, is usually the first that peeps into our head. Evenings by the sea, going out to the cinema with your friends of the past and that sense of unpredictability with respect to the future create a powerful mix of bittersweet sensations that cannot be detached from the memory of the first great love.
First love teaches us to move forward
"The magic of first love consists in not knowing that it can always end."
Benjamin Disraeli
Except in very rare cases where it lasts a lifetime, first love comes to an end and brings with it a suffering that seems insurmountable. With its end, the idea of the romantic dream collapses in the imagination of those who try it, the fairy tale often told by the films and the protagonists of the books. Certainly, as adolescents, emotions are experienced in an almost amplified way and in this context the breakup with one's partner seems to be the strongest pain that one can feel.
However, over time the wounds heal, leaving a scar that is not very visible but that accompanies us forever, a bit like the memory of the suffering that caused it. The same goes for the sadness of closing with the first partner: to overcome that pain you need patience and calm. Only when you feel ready to let it go will you be able to turn the page and open up again to other sentimental experiences without ever forgetting the beauty of what you have lived.
Carrying out this process without haste is essential so that you do not accumulate on your shoulders a baggage of your negative past that can compromise your future. This elaboration process is formative: it teaches us to move forward without denying anything, treasuring all the positive moments we live.
First love is a trauma: this is what science says
So far we have seen several explanations as to why first love is so important that it cannot be forgotten. These are reasons strictly related to the growth path of each of us, but what does science say about it? To the phrase "the first love is never forgotten", the experts in the sector have provided an answer that has very little, indeed nothing, of romantic. Let's eliminate any stereotype typical of books or the world of cinema, because it would be similar from a neurological point of view to a trauma.
According to a study by Stony Brook University in New York, the first sentimental story activates the areas of the brain related to anxiety and fear. It follows that for our mind it represents a kind of trauma. The goal of the research conducted by Xiaomeng Xu was to demonstrate that the brain reactions to the memory of the first love were different from those caused by subsequent relationships. His thesis has not been denied: rethinking the first loved one reactivates feelings of stress and fear because, even if at a subconscious level, that love relationship is always seen as passionate, not very mature and, above all, not destined to last for a long time.
