KISSES IN THE MOUTH - PARENTHOOD

Kisses on the mouth of babies: Experts say it's best to avoid

"But then what is a kiss?" ... a pink apostrophe between the words t "I love ..." so says one of Edmond Rostand's most famous phrases in Cyrano de Bergerac. Here the writer's intent is to describe a romantic kiss as the one exchanged between two lovers. The literature is full of references to famous kisses, desired, never had, never lived, this is because the kiss is considered an idyllic event.On the other hand, the question concerning kisses in the mouth of children is very different.

The kiss is, and will always be, a gesture of affection on the part of the woman towards her baby: it is unthinkable not to kiss one's children, it is something instinctive and natural that creates emotion in those who receive it and in those who from.

Some moms and dads are used to kissing their children on the mouth from birth, while other couples prefer a more tender kiss on the cheek. Before pointing the finger at those who have chosen to kiss their child in the mouth, let's analyze what the experts think, discovering what are the hidden risks behind a simple affective gesture.

In this short video we talk about parents and feelings of guilt: how to overcome the problem.

Kisses on the mouth: what does it mean for the baby?

While kissing babies on the mouth is considered normal by some, for others it is something to be avoided. As a parent, have you ever wondered if kissing your child on the lips is right or wrong?
We know well that there is no anomalous meaning behind these effusions, but let's analyze some cases in which perhaps it is better to avoid kissing the baby on the mouth.

During the physical contact that occurs through the kiss, the child has the opportunity to identify himself as an individual: for him it is a way to feel loved and desired.

However, something changes with age. For very young children up to 4 years of age, the event of kisses in the mouth represents the pure love that parents have for him. It is therefore normal and instinctive to fill your little ones with affectionate kisses, not c "there is reason to be ashamed indeed they are very sweet moments that will never return in the life of a mum or a dad. The advice is not to miss an opportunity to cuddle your little boy or girl, it will be good for both of you.

After 4 years it is better to avoid kisses in the mouth

Around the age of 4 or 5 the child enters a phase of growth in which the affective sphere becomes erotic, in particular we refer to the relationship between mother / son and father / daughter, therefore the danger of exchanging a simple kiss for something different, it is very high.
Children in this phase begin to be aware of their sexual sphere and an innocent gesture such as a kiss on the mouth risks being misunderstood and creating a general climate of embarrassment.

Furthermore, if parents and children exchange kisses on the lips daily between parents and children, the child associates this moment with a spontaneous and natural thing to be replicated even outside the home. mouth, the child would interpret it as something transgressive and forbidden, generating doubts and jeopardizing the awareness reached up to then.

Furthermore, children tend to replicate what mum and dad saw, did or heard at home and consequently even kissing on the mouth could repeat it with classmates, for example. Let's try to think about what this behavior would trigger if the other child was not used to these manifestations in the family.
This explains one of the reasons why we must be careful. Let's see others.

Kisses on the mouth and disease transmission

An often underestimated aspect is that of the transmission of diseases to children through the practice of kissing. The parent's mouth comes into contact with the child's mucosa with the inevitable exchange of saliva and germs and bacteria. Milk teeth are very susceptible to infection and could be damaged by affecting the gums before they are fully developed.

But this is not the only harm that can be done to your children. With a simple touch such as a kiss, it is very easy to transmit flu, cold and viruses such as cold sores.

Finally, in the most serious cases, Mononucleosis, also known as kissing disease, can be transmitted through saliva; the consequences are not exactly pleasant as it causes high fever and general malaise, therefore to be avoided for a child in the first years of life.

Avoiding kisses in the mouth helps define roles

Several psychologists agree on the fact that kisses in the mouth of children are completely to be excluded, it would in fact be a dishonest gesture to be stopped as soon as possible to avoid repercussions on the psychological sphere.

Other scholars affirm that everything depends on the reference culture. Let's take an example: for the Italian culture the kiss is the basis of love between two adults, for the child it must therefore be normal to see this exchange of effusion only between mom and dad or in general between lovers.

It is therefore useful to clarify and spontaneously explain to our children what the roles are: we can take advantage of the moment of curiosity in which they will come to ask us for explanations about the events. There must be physical contact with the child and that's fine, because affective demonstrations are the first nourishment of growth for children. But there are so many other ways to show him, even with kisses.

Show affection for your child without kissing him on the mouth

If you have read this far and you are a parent who just can't do without the kiss on the lips of their children, or you are wondering how to replace these events without trauma on both sides, we give you some tips.

Don't deny your child a kiss, but don't kiss it on the lips. There are other areas of the baby's body to pop a good kiss and they also have specific meanings. Here they are: