Unconditional love: what does it mean to love another person unconditionally?
Does unconditional love really exist? Is it really possible to love another person unconditionally, regardless of everything and everyone? The answer is yes, but as long as you really understand what it means to love (and be loved) without conditions.
The unconditional love that we all dream of receiving is a love that is not easy to find, because it does not depend on some form of reciprocity or exchange. Often in relationships we end up giving love to receive something back: we give an "attention to" another person so that she can give it back to us, we are close to her so that she can be close to us when we need it.
Unconditional love, on the other hand, asks for nothing. It is said that its purest form is that of a parent towards a child: a mother loves her child regardless of everything and everyone. With a partner, however, they enter more complex relationships are at stake, not so free from constraints and not always so pure. We try to deepen the topic to get to understand what it really means to love unconditionally and how to do it to make the other happy and to make us happy in the first place. After all, love is full of benefits ... watch this video about it:
Unconditional love vs. conditional love
To better understand what the perhaps utopian expression of "unconditional love" means, it will be better to compare it with what, on the contrary, we would call "conditional love". If we live a love "on condition that" we may feel compelled to change a part of us to please the other person. Our partner loves us only "on condition that" we behave in a certain way or hide a part of us that does not please him: in these cases we will speak of "conditional love", a love that is given to us only to certain conditions and that certainly does not make us happy, on the contrary! To make us happy, a man must love us "without if", for who we are.
To love unconditionally, therefore, means not to put in front of the "other no" if ". Your partner will not stop loving you" if "you do not behave as he likes: his love does not depend on particular conditions," it is "and that's it, without him having to earn anything from the relationship.
In conditional love, we love someone because they love us in turn, because they make us happy or make us feel understood or just special. The moment the other person stops making us feel that way, our love vanishes and the couple goes into crisis.
Unconditional love, on the other hand, is independent of everything and everyone: we love the other person regardless of how they behave towards us, even regardless of whether they love us or not! How is this possible? Here is an example: if we know that the person we unconditionally love will be happier moving abroad, we will let him go. Because our love does not ask for anything back, our happiness does not depend on the other, we will be happy for the simple act of loving.
It is not easy, indeed! It is a type of love that is very difficult to try and find, because it is devoid of any form of selfishness. However, if we manage to rise to such a love, we will gain a real inner freedom, because we ourselves will be the source of our happiness and not the other. What makes us happy will not be the behavior of the partner, but our own act. to love.
The rules of unconditional love: what does it really mean to love unconditionally?
Love of this type asks nothing of the other: whoever loves is happy that the beloved is happy, nothing else! Obviously, the number one rule to love in this way is to love yourself first: if you live well with yourself, you appreciate yourself for who you are, you work on your self-esteem, you will not need to constantly ask the other to. give you certainties and demonstrations You have to feel sure of yourself to be able to love, without creating bonds of dependence.
If you are the first to not forgive something to yourself, you will hardly be able to forgive it to your partner: a good relationship with yourself is the basis of every good relationship. Love yourself, therefore, unconditionally: know your faults, forgive them, and learn to do the same with others. Only in this way will you be able to accept the other and learn to love him even with his imperfections.
The second rule is to always ask yourself what is best for the person you love at the moment, which is most loving for them. Put yourself in his shoes and show your love in every action, forgetting the personal account.
Unconditional love is what can forgive. Learn to love the other regardless of his mistakes: you love him for what he "is", not for what he "does". Obviously it is not about getting your feet on your head: a person must deserve your unconditional love, and if it is a violent one it will certainly be good to run away!
Is unconditional love really unconditional?
Unconditional love, if it turns into a relationship between two people, must not lead to accepting all of the other. As we said before, if the relationship becomes violent or abusive, it is good to get away from it immediately! Remember the first rule of unconditional love: love yourself unconditionally!
If your partner does not allow you to be comfortable with any form of abuse or humiliation, you certainly cannot continue to love him without conditions, it would be intolerable! Beware, therefore, of the limits of "unconditional love" which - as much as it may seem like a "fairytale love" - could turn into a nightmare ... eyes wide open!
If you have unconditional love for him, but he is a violent person or a person who cannot make you happy, you will have to walk away. It does not mean that your unconditional love will end out of the blue, on the contrary: you will probably continue - despite everything - to love him from a distance. But if it is the only way to preserve yourself, it is good to do it: time will teach that that love did not really deserve it ...
Can you learn to love a person unconditionally?
Unconditional love is already within us, we no longer "learn" it. However, it is possible to learn to bring it out and express it only after a long work on ourselves. First of all, learn to love yourself without conditions: stop judging yourself, love yourself for your strengths, but also for your flaws. They are the ones who make you unique and special! Only after having learned this very difficult art will we be able to let ourselves be loved in the same way by others and to reciprocate their love.
By working in this way on yourself you will understand that love is synonymous with freedom: you yourself will feel freer, learning to appreciate yourself regardless of everything and everyone, from the judgment of others, from your own judgment. The same freedom you will be able to grant to the person you love.
"If you love someone, leave him free" - said Richard Bach in Jonathan Livingston Seagull - "If he comes back to you, he will always be yours, otherwise he never was".This is one of the most beautiful phrases ever written about unconditional love, because it contains a great freedom: true love does not impose constraints and always and only wants the happiness of the other, even at the cost of losing it. If you are looking for other love phrases to dedicate to your sweetheart, browse our album now:
