HOW TO RECOGNIZE AN IMPOSSIBLE LOVE AND HOW TO BEHAVE

"An impossible love is like a flower in the desert, it will always be the strongest and most beautiful of all the others."

Love in itself is one of the most complicated feelings. Made of understanding, complicity, but also of ups and downs and everyday life: love can give us everything but it can ask us a lot in return. Sometimes, too much. There are cases in which this feeling does not prevail and, when it does occur, we speak of impossible love. This situation leads to a real yearning because you feel deprived of the possibility of having your loved one next to you. Thus, it is natural to ask, why?

The reasons behind an impossible love are many and can vary from case to case. Sometimes we end up in the so-called "emotional dependence", when only one member of the couple feels something deep and sincere towards the other, which, on the other hand, never gives certainty and proves vague. This situation, if it is not interrupted, can last for years and seriously affect the life of those who have been "waiting" for a long time.

As already mentioned, there is no single type of impossible love. A relationship may not be able to blossom for various reasons and these are certainly the most frequent.

Unrequited love

"Loving a person who doesn't love you is like waiting for a train at the airport."

The most frequent scenario of love relationships without a happy ending, precisely because the feeling is only on one side. The fact is that you love him, but he doesn't. You cannot force someone to love us, the result would be even worse. Maybe she appreciates you as a person, as a friend, but while you were dating, she didn't have that spark needed to start a serious story.

In this case, nobody is to blame, unless you notice that, while not reciprocating the sentiment, it continues to keep you in a situation of "precarious balance". All of this occurs when a potential partner approaches and moves away constantly, leaving you each time unsure whether they want something more between the two of you or not.

Incompatibility

"If unhappy is the lover who invokes kisses whose taste he does not know, a thousand times more unhappy is the one who barely tasted this flavor and then was denied it."

Being incompatible is very different from unrequited love. In the first example, in fact, love existed only on one side, while for the "incompatibility" there is a sincere and deep feeling between the two of you, but every event triggers a fight. Perhaps, when you were dating, everything was fine because you were still in the phase of acquaintance and initial euphoria. In reality, true love involves the establishment of habits, the need to compromise and even sharing something.

It is true that opposites attract, but for a couple to envision a future while remaining together, there must be shared values and interests between the two partners. If this assumption is missing, then from every single disagreement a much more important discussion will arise that will damage the relationship. The solution, therefore, is only one: to take note of not being able to be together. You cannot change each other, it would not be fair either to the other person or to yourself and it is better for each of you to take your own path.

An unhappy love

There is no "single" motivation for a relationship to lack happiness. It may be that being next to him oppresses you, takes away the freedom to show yourself for who you are and that makes you always feel under scrutiny. Not feeling good for someone seriously damages your self-esteem and could lead you, after a short time, to live only in the shadow of your him. In doing so, the only opinion that will really matter will be his alone. This complex mechanism makes love impossible: without happiness, the desire to be what one really is and without someone who makes us feel important, the essential conditions are lacking. for an important relationship that can last for years.

Then, the "absence of happiness can also be dictated by the" excessive jealousy of the partner towards you, which once again makes you feel "in a cage", or by an initial error of assessment: the partner you have at your side is not who you thought it was and, in this way, it fails to make you feel good.

How to behave in the face of an impossible love

Once you recognize the impossibility of living a love, you can choose to continue to try or give up before it is too late. If you opt for the first solution, it is good to know that in most cases you will end up in a road without exit, from which it can be really difficult to find an escape. In reality, you know, lovers and dreamers have in common the stubbornness to believe and hope firmly, without logic or rational frontiers, even for a lifetime. instead, if he meant enough to an impossible love, the watchword is to forget and try to move on.

To do this, you need to get out of the "stalemate":

Do not give yourself to feelings of guilt: an impossible love is not the cause of a single person, but of a series of factors. Therefore, if you want to forget this painful experience, do not point the finger at yourself and do not feel like the scapegoat of the whole affair.
No Idealization: If you have realized that he is not for you, do not try to idealize him. Its "best" version, in fact, will live only in your head, while you would have had to deal with it maybe for years or even for the rest of your life.
Learn from the past: Before forgetting this whole situation, it is important to understand how to draw a lesson from it for the future to prevent it from happening again.
Focus on yourself: in a difficult time, never jump straight into another "story. Think about yourself, your emotions and give yourself time to feel good again."
Getting distracted: an "outing with friends, a shopping session, a movie seen in company or even practicing a sport or your favorite hobby. To stop thinking about your impossible love, there is no need to immediately start another" relationship. The most loved affections and activities are enough to make you smile again.

Phrases about impossible love

Whatever the conditions that determine it, an impossible love hurts. There are no solutions to make it work, you have to give up and resign yourself to the inevitable. A pain so poignant without remedy, so much so as to be defined "broken heart syndrome" or love sickness, could only touch the soul of great writers and thinkers of the past and present who have written sentences, poems and texts to vent their emotions and pass them on to posterity.

Love forgives everything, except one thing, that of not being loved.
Jean-Baptiste Henri Lacordaire

The only way to know a person is to love them without hope.
Walter Benjamin

Impossible loves never end, they are the ones that last forever.
Ferzan Özpetek

Never before had she felt so honestly that she could love him, never as now when all her love was in vain.
Jane Austen

When you give someone your whole heart and they don't want it, you can't take it back. He is gone forever.
Sylvia Plath

Unhappy love is the heaviest suffering, but in turn the heaviest unhappy love, the most tormenting, is when the object of love is such that by its nature it cannot be loved, while for the lover it is it is the only object he desires with all his heart.
Søren Kierkegaard

The worst way to miss someone is to sit next to them and know you can never have them.
Gabriel García Márquez

It is sad not to be loved, but sadder still is not being able to love.
Miguel De Unamuno

When you love without causing love, that is, when your love as love does not produce mutual love, and through your life manifestation, as a loving man, you do not make yourself a loved man, your love is powerless, it is a misfortune .
Karl Marx