Helping others: how to help others and feel good
Seeing a friend or family member in difficulty makes us feel bad and, above all, triggers in us the need to help him extricate himself from the complicated situation in which he finds himself and to solve the problem that causes him anxiety and stress. Although the intent is noble, it is often not so easy to help others. It may happen, in fact, that the person in question does not want to receive help or that we ourselves do not know where to start showing our support. Today, therefore, we will find out how to help others in everyday life and how this action is considered fundamental along the road to happiness.
Also, did you know that helping others is one of the ways to boost your self-esteem?
How to help others
When faced with certain situations, we very often ask ourselves: how can i be of help?. A question that appears banal, but which in different contexts can become decidedly complex. In fact, as we have already mentioned, helping others is a noble gesture but it is also easy to make mistakes in doing so, despite having the best intentions. Obviously there is no " manual "or a rigid scheme because some dynamics vary from case to case, but it is possible to find actions and behaviors that help others to feel good and, indirectly, also yourself.
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1. Listen
There can be no help if we don't listen to who we are in front of. It will surprise you, but most of the time the people who need you above all need to be listened to openly, without fear of judgment. The correct way to listen to others is called active listening. It consists in paying serious attention to the words, feelings and emotions of the speaker, without interrupting or shifting the discussion on your mood or on your considerations.
It is important not to lose concentration and not get distracted: to do this, try to keep your thoughts away, at least for a few minutes, devoting yourself only to listening to your interlocutor. Only when you understand that the latter has expressed everything he feels and that cause upset, then you can give your opinion. Be careful, however, not to lapse into mere judgment: by doing so you will not only not be helpful, but whoever you would like to help could lose faith in you.
2. Ask what you could be of help
In addition to listening to others, a fundamental action is to ask those in difficulty what you could do to help. All this does not mean putting yourself at the complete service of others because really helping is not synonymous with doing everything that people ask of you. Helping someone means making their life easier, relieving a burden that they have to carry and helping them to be happy. Try, therefore, to take care of some worries or to offer services that can make the person in question feel less alone and with support. valid at his side.
Remember not to promise help if you know you won't be able to keep this promise. Such incidents lead others to distance themselves from us because they think they cannot truly be trusted.
3. Make small gestures
To help others there is no need for big gestures. Very often people prefer an act that looks small but is actually rich in meaning and sincere affection. So, if you know that your friend or family member is in trouble, try to make him feel good and make him smile by making him feel your presence even when you are not physically close. For example, text this person to let them know you think, suggest spending time together to have fun and think about something else, or surprise them with something you know they have long wanted.
4. Be honest
When we see someone in difficulty, it is difficult for us to say what we really think about the problem that interests them. However, this mistake must not be made. Listening to others, showing help to them and making them feel your presence are fundamental, but, equally, sincerity is too. If you think that this person is dealing with that situation incorrectly, do not lie in favor of theirs. Behavior. Say your opinion without it sounding like a reproach or criticism, but a constructive opinion: to prove yourself really useful, you need to know how to say a few "no" and do or admit what they don't like, because it's the right thing to do. Do.
Perhaps, at first, this honesty will destabilize, but then it will be appreciated and you will be seen as a sincere person who prefers to put themselves in an awkward position for the good of the other rather than indulge for their own gain.
Don't solve the problem but show the way to the solution
Very often the noble act of helping others is confused with the complete satisfaction of the requests of others. Helping someone doesn't mean solving a problem or uncomfortable situation for them, but showing them a way to find a solution. It is not by replacing your neighbor that you prove to be useful: in this way you will not favor the personal growth of those around you, because they will always turn to someone else in case of difficulty.
Helping others means allowing them to learn to improve and become stronger. So, give them advice on how you would deal with that difficult time or what you think is right to do, without relieving them of their responsibilities.
Helping others as a step towards happiness
Even today it is impossible to find a perfect recipe on how to be happy. However, being helpful towards others is seen as a preparatory "step" to achieving happiness. Have you ever given directions to a tourist who seems to be lost? Well, after he thanked you and found your way again, didn't you feel satisfied and satisfied with yourself? That's right, being helpful makes someone feel good and to do so there is no need for great gestures or extraordinary actions, acts of courtesy are enough that sometimes we also tend not to notice.
This is because helping others makes you feel useful and directly affects your self-esteem. This caution should be addressed not only to people who know each other, but above all to strangers as a completely disinterested and unconditional gesture, that is, without expecting anything in return.
