Goodbye guilt!

The two faces of guilt

> Feeling guilty, therefore, is normal to the extent that it is a "healthy sense of guilt": without this feeling, we would simply be devoid of moral conscience! It can also be an "empathic" sense of guilt: shoes of others, of what they feel, and eventually seeks to be forgiven.

> When the sense of guilt becomes a handicap that paralyzes in daily actions, it is called devastating sense of guilt. It is difficult to find a rational cause for this type of guilt. In the long run, it can become a real brake on pleasures and desires.

The different forms of pathological guilt

> An old story that can't be swallowed: you have remorse for an act you committed a long time ago. It's about being able to reconcile with yourself or, sometimes, with someone else.

> the daily sense of guilt: it can be caused by simple and current facts and risks ruining your life. For example, every day you feel remorse for saying or doing this or that, because you hurt someone with what you said ... in your relationships with others you feel, therefore, constantly guilty.

> The "anticipated" sense of guilt: prevents you from acting or speaking for fear of disturbing others, or becoming guilty of something.

> You constantly blame yourself for a situation of which, in reality, you are not at all guilty; just like the child who feels responsible for his parents' divorce, or the woman who feels guilty for having an abortion… up to the people who even feel guilty about existing!

Good to know > sometimes, the sense of guilt can have a positive function: it helps to fight a feeling of helplessness and to regain some control of events, for example in the case of sexual violence.

Learn to free yourself from feelings of guilt

To feel fulfilled and serene, you need to learn to free yourself from feelings of guilt. Here are some tips to do this:

> First of all, don't hesitate to talk about it, expressing your fears.

> In the case of criminally punishable acts (for example, if you hit a pedestrian with your car and did not stop): the only solution is to try to meet the victim and explain your behavior. Or go and turn yourself in to the police, to get this weight off your conscience.

> Learn to be modest. Our feelings of guilt are often disproportionate. Sometimes they belong to us to such an extent that we are almost proud of them, a bit "as if we were convinced that we are at the center of the universe!

> Try to calmly identify the reasons that make you feel guilty, so as to get rid of these negative feelings as quickly as possible. Those who feel too guilty can easily become a scapegoat for others.

> Realize that religion and social morality establish reference ideals that are difficult to achieve, if not impossible. In comparison, we are all inevitably guilty of our little daily weaknesses!

> Getting rid of all feelings of guilt is impossible! The worst criminal manages not to feel guilty for his crimes, but perhaps he is torn apart by the pain he caused his mother, for example ...

To each their own responsibilities

> You must accept that we are never fully responsible for the suffering of others! In reality, we are only responsible for our acts, thoughts and words. Without this awareness, others will always be victims. Simply put, you have to accept that you can't control everything!

> The important thing is to be able to forgive yourself. The easiest thing is to say to yourself: "I deserve to suffer, because I was wrong"; but this is not the right attitude to take, since in this way we do nothing but consider ourselves bad. The aim, on the other hand, is to be able to resume a new life, finally free from feelings of guilt!