LETTER FROM A FATHER TO HIS DAUGHTER AGAINST STEREOTYPES - PARENTHOOD

"You are and you will always be beautiful": a father teaches his daughter to redefine the vocabulary of beauty

Words have weight and strength. Just as they can make us stronger, they can also affect us and undermine our self-esteem. Words are everywhere, all the time, and they can influence our thoughts, our way of looking at the world, and even ourselves. What impact, then, can terms such as “infallible”, “perfect” or “sublime at low cost” have if not that of inducing the search for a superficial and fragile perfection?

Psychologist Kelly M. Flanagan, who had previously blogged a letter to her 4-year-old daughter for the day she is getting married about the characteristics her future husband will have to have to make her happy, is done now. spokesperson for a new letter addressed to her daughter and focused on the often absurd rules of marketing "beauty at all costs".

"My baby,

I am writing these lines to you while I am in the cosmetics department of the supermarket. A friend recently texted me after he went to another supermarket and felt overwhelmed by what he saw around. I wanted to understand what she meant and now that I'm in a similar situation to hers, I understand her concern and discomfort. Words have power and the words present in the compartments of this common supermarket have an even stronger power. Expressions such as 'Sublime at low cost, infallible, perfect finishing, striking strength, liquid power, opt for the nude, challenge time and fight its effects, choose your dream, natural beauty' they have a considerable weight ”- explains this father reading the terms found on the common packaging of cosmetics and creams sold and in magazines.

“When you have a daughter, you understand how strong she can be even if still small; a force that must be trusted and that unites it to all the others. But one also realizes, standing among the shelves of this shop, how much others can consider in another way that same little woman full of strength, determination and courage. These "others" will see her as a cute face and an attractive body to take advantage of. They will tell you that it will have to look like this or that to be successful and important. But words HAVE power and it can be - yes it can be - that even the words of a father can begin to have something in this world. It may be that the words of a father can free his daughter from that feeling of inadequacy that others would like to instill in her and direct her towards a deep esteem of herself and of what she is worth. A father's words are no different, but they have a completely different meaning.

Striking strength: that your strength does not reside in your nails, but in your heart. May you understand who you are and live with respect for your essence, without fear and without doubts.
Choose your dreams: but not on the shelves of a supermarket. Find the tranquility in yourself and dig until you find your dream. Find out what you want to do and once you understand, pursue your ambitions with fidelity, integrity and hope.
Nude: The world wants you to take off your clothes. I tell you, undress if you like, but superficiality, not clothing. Be honest, speak up, but also be vulnerable, take risks. Love the world or ignore its narrowest principles. Do it by laying bare, confidently and sensitively.
Infallible: may you always be aware of the fact that nothing is infallible. It is an illusion created by people attracted to your wallet. If you want to seek perfection, let it be a deep, lasting value that surrounds you and those you care about.
Fight the signs of aging: your skin will have wrinkles and your youth will inevitably fade, but your soul will be eternal and will always be able to seize the unique opportunities of life. May you always resist the aging of your spirit.
Perfect Finishing: May you age gracefully, grow wisely, and may your love become strong enough to contain the whole world. That your "perfect finishing" has nothing to do with the appearance of the present, but means the ability to serenely welcome the end and its unknown continuation.

My little one, you love all that is pink and fluttering and I know that one day you will begin to love even make-up, creams, clothes ... But I pray that you will continue to love a simple word even more strongly, the same one that you repeat to me every night when you ask: "Where is your true beauty?" - the one that no corrector can ever hide - and you answer me "inside".

By signing this touching letter with a simple "dad", Kelly Flanagan is not only addressing her daughter, but all the young girls who question themselves about a society based on consumerism and who will continue to create false complexes for them, to then offer precise guidelines. It is therefore a real war against the diktats of beauty. “We have a lot of work to do, a job that begins in the heart of every woman,” she concludes.

And you, which terms related to the "ephemeral world of beauty would you like to review and correct, giving them a deeper interpretation?