Same parenthood, what to know about this 'new' family bond
The theme of "homogenous parenting is really broad because it encompasses many family situations, but in any case it always requires the presence of at least one parental figure with a non-heterosexual orientation. Today we will try to give you some useful information on the current situation both in Italy and in the rest of the world, to keep up with the times! Remember also that everyone has the right to feel good in their body. Review how, thanks to this video.
What is homogenitoriality
Homoparentality or homoparentality refers to the bond that exists between one or more children and a parent who is not heterosexual.
We can see it as an umbrella term, as it encompasses different family realities, not only here, but throughout the globe. Families who see themselves in this controversial concept are characterized by having a parent with a sexual orientation other than being straight. One speaks of homogenitorial families when:
- the children were born from previous relationships (of a heterosexual nature);
- the mothers are lesbian and have opted for adoption or assisted reproduction;
- the fathers are gay and have adopted a child / ren or alternatively have chosen a mother who has carried out the gestation for them;
- the nucleus is made up of a gay man and a lesbian woman who, out of the desire to have a child, decide to become co-parents, possibly with the collaboration of their respective partners.
As you can see, there are many cases! The issue is certainly complex, but it is correct to be informed about how the modern family is evolving, so as not to run into erroneous prejudices. Where does this complexity arise? Certainly from the innumerable combinations of an emotional nature that exist today, due to the possibility of separations, adoptions and varied methodologies to become a parent. In addition, the issue of LGBT rights also comes into play, not to mention the psychological implications.
Let us therefore go into a little more detail to try to clarify, by going to see what scientific studies report on homogenity and how society reacts when it comes to childhood evolution.
What science says
The desire to become a parent is innate in all of us and is a feeling that can grow at different stages of life. For those who want this path with an emotional preference for people of the same sex behind them, things get complicated. Like so many topics concerning the LGBT world, in fact, even "homoparentality is a" fresh "issue, treated and analyzed for a few decades and on which there is no lack of criticism and controversy.
The studies available start in 2005, about 20 years ago. These researches examined the situations of different families with at least one homosexual adult member. It was the "American Academy of Pediatrics that decided to commission a" major review on this delicate issue.
The report had to focus on 3 points: the educational skills, personality and behavior of the parents; the emotional and social development of the child; the child's gender identity. The result? Children raised by parents of similar sex grow and develop exactly like those raised by a traditional family.
It has therefore been documented for just under a quarter of a century that there is no relationship between a parent's sexual orientation and a child's social or emotional adaptation.
There are no particular risks (on an emotional or psychological level) to growing up in a home environment where there is a gay or two as parents, because as long as they are conscientious people and able to provide all the necessary care for the growth of a son, they have exactly the same parental abilities as a heterosexual. What a great find!
Moreover, since the analyzes of 2005 the results have never changed, so much so that some associations of psychology, medicine and pediatrics have decided to underline these evidences. Among the many are the American Psychiatric Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric and the American Medical Association.
Prejudices towards homogenitoriality
Although there are years of scientific studies and illustrious associations that affirm with certainty that the children of homosexuals are identical in behavior and development to the children of heterosexuals, doubts towards gays and lesbians continue.
In fact, there is no lack of criticism and groups opposed to homogenitoriality.
The main prejudices on this issue mainly concern the parental incapacity of a homosexual or bisexual individual and the little attention this would pay to the psycho-physical development of the child. need a mum and a dad or that gay relationships are not stable and therefore are not able to give continuity to the child It still happens very often, but these are unsubstantiated claims.
In fact, there would be no greater right in heterosexual couples to have a child than a gay couple, the important thing is that a minor has people who take care of him adequately, and this has nothing to do with the gender or sexual orientation. Fights for gay and lesbian rights are still ongoing and clashes are on the agenda.
One thing is certain: for anatomical reasons, a couple from the LGBT world must resort to non-traditional methods in order to have a child. So let's see what are the methodologies made available by science.
How to access parenting for gays, lesbians and bisexuals
Today for a homosexual couple there are different ways to have a baby. In fact they are also applicable to heterosexuals if they are diagnosed with infertility problems. The main difference is made by the country of residence and its legislation on the matter. In some countries it is in fact possible to resort to one or more of the methods, in others it is just impossible and in still others there are ways legitimized only for traditional couples. Here's what you can do to get a child:
- Intrauterine insemination, or IUI, is one of the most innovative ways of accessing parenthood. In practice, some spermatozoa are transferred to lesbian couples, which have been donated and then prepared in the laboratory. One of the two parts of the couple receives the sperm directly into the uterus. By choosing this method, regular checks are foreseen, in particular to determine when the woman is ovulating;
- In vitro fertilization and subsequent embryo transfer (IVF / ICSI). In this case, fertilization takes place in the laboratory and the recipient of the spermatozoa must take drugs in the first days of menstruation. There are specific monitoring to understand when to collect the oocytes that will be fertilized in vitro or with the IVF technique. If fertilization has taken place, the embryos are transferred to the uterus. This option is very expensive, but it is also the technique with the highest success rate.
- Egg donation; for lesbian couples. Through this method a donor, usually external to the couple and anonymous, delivers her eggs to the recipient, to ensure that she becomes pregnant. Success rates for each attempt are high (up to 70% with fresh embryos);
- Gestation for Others (GPA), also referred to as surrogacy. The involvement of a person outside the couple is expected to carry on with the pregnancy. The egg is usually from an external donor or a member of the couple (for lesbian unions), the same for the sperm;
- Adoption. Perhaps one of the oldest ways, the path of which lasts a long time and it is not always possible to entrust a child to requesting couples.
In Italy, as you may well know, not all of these methods are allowed. In fact, surrogacy or "rented uterus" is an illegal practice, both for heterosexuals and for people of other orientations. Assisted fertilization remains permitted, but only for heterosexual couples. It is not a mode allowed for gays or lesbians, or for single women.
Faced with these legislative restrictions, many homosexual couples are forced to go abroad in order to obtain a child, aware that they are facing legal consequences for the recognition of the child by those who are not biological parents.
Not only that, if you decide to have a baby in Italy, you need to know that homogenous parenthood is not covered by our legislature. Or rather, there is no law that regulates and protects the parenting of a homosexual couple, despite the fact that the numbers are now in constant growth and the fact that the Constitutional Court has recognized that the desire to have children is an expression of the "fundamental and general freedom of self-determination" of any human being.
The dimension of the phenomenon in Italy
But what numbers are we talking about when it comes to our country? How widespread is homoparentality here with us? The latest estimates date back to a 2005 survey conducted by Arcigay, with the patronage of the Istituto Superiore di Sanità: the research found that about 18% of gay men and 21% of lesbian women over the age of 40 have a child. Figures in hand It is estimated that in Italy in that year there were about 100,000 children living with at least one homosexual parent. However, most of these children appeared to have been born from previously straight relationships.
Later, in 2011, with the ISTAT census, there were about 7,513 same-sex couples, united by emotional ties of a marital nature. Obviously this figure is underestimated because the willingness to come out publicly is a very personal topic, and also because not all couples were living together at that time.
On the other hand, how are the other nations placed? Certainly a bit better than us, if we talk about other European states than those overseas, such as America. Read on for this information too!
The size of the phenomenon in the rest of the world
In the USA, several censuses have been carried out which have highlighted how the phenomenon of homoparentality is more common than one thinks.
The first in this sense dates back to 2000, when it was reported that about 33% of lesbian couples and 22% of gay couples had a cohabiting child under the age of 18.
The subsequent monitoring takes place in 2005, when the children of homosexuals rose to just under 300,000.
The last survey on the subject took place in 2011, the year in which US agencies estimated the presence in America of about 6 million people with at least one gay, lesbian, bisexual and transsexual parent. And boys or girls under 18 years would have amounted to about 220,000, again considering cohabitation with at least one homosexual parent as a parameter.
To give you a more concrete "idea of what is happening overseas, it seems that LGBT cohabiting couples number around 650,000, with 125,000 same-parent families with underage children. See it as if one child in a thousand is raised by parents belonging to the LGBT community. little, right?
And in Europe? We do not have data in hand to share, but certainly homoparentality is less opposed in countries such as Spain, France, Germany, England and Belgium (compared to Italy), because the homoparental reality is integrated into the legal regulation -social.
Emotions in the field of LGBT parents
So far we have summarized the more analytical data and the research done in the field. But there is a very important aspect of homogenity that we have not yet addressed: the emotional and psychological aspect, both of parents and of children. Let's start with that of adults.
Those who identify as gay, lesbian or homosexual have many barriers to break down, especially if they decide to become a parent. The path is not easy and usually comes with a series of mixed emotions, positive and negative. Often there is a background of fear because the community in which one lives can be homophobic and stigmatizing; many of them perceive powerlessness in not being able to have children or the feeling of being inadequate as parents, because gay or lesbian, is accentuated.
In Italy, the role of grandparents is still very widespread in Italy, and even a refusal by the family of origin to give support in raising a child can raise fears in starting a family.
These are just some of the thoughts and feelings that go through the head of a future parent, but fortunately there are several associations located throughout the country that can give psychological support to parenting, in whatever form it occurs.
From the point of view of children: how to explain the situation
Let's now pass to the children's side; how do they live the situation? The data tells us that in general children have no problem accepting different situations, just explain it in terms that can put them at ease.
With the little ones, the trump card is always sincerity. Whether the child has been adopted, is the result of previous loves from one of the parents, or has been raised with the support of science, talk to him with an open heart and without going into too much detail, unless he asks for it.
For those who have been adopted, going back to the family tree is a little more complicated because the data is sometimes protected for privacy and the child can develop problems related to identity processing. Fortunately, the problem does not seem to exist for those who have instead been the result of egg or embryo donations.
It was also noted that the age of revelation has a certain weight: the smaller the child, the more time he will have to process the information received, thus not affecting the relationship with the reference figure. Better to make this delicate information available to the child as soon as possible, perhaps masking them in fairy tales, stories and activities that accompany him in the elaboration process.
Certainly it must be taken into account that during adolescence you are almost adult and typically it is a very complicated passage in life, where it is not uncommon to be bullied (discover some of the most powerful phrases to use against bullies in our article). If that time has come, give strength and courage to the same-parent family that you care about: the support and love of loved ones is very important.
You will find a comprehensive article based on several relevant research and volumes. <
