No contact: what the no contact rule is and how it works
How can a single technique be applied in two such different situations, such as the re-conquest of an ex or his total estrangement? The substantial difference consists in the period of time in which it is implemented. For this the "the no contact rule", the rule of no contact or, more simply, of no contact makes a lot of discussion and talk about its effectiveness and how it can be implemented. Let's start by saying that it is particularly beneficial in the complete detachment from an individual such as the narcissist. , people who are constantly looking for attention.
In this article, we will explain how the no contact principle works and how it can come in handy in getting your ex back. At the same time, however, you can take a cue if, after a breakup, you no longer want to have anything to do with your ex partner because you realized that he was not the right person for you.
The no contact technique to win back an ex
Before we only talked about "pause for reflection", while now we are investigating how it is best to deal with it for a - more or less ex - couple. As for the no contact rule, it is usually used by those who have not properly chosen the pause for reflection or by those who have had to suffer the breakdown of the relationship, victim of a decision by others.In this case, no longer having any kind of contact with your ex partner will not be a revenge, but a way to show him that you respect his desire to "take time" but also to make him understand what his life would really be like. without your presence.
If you choose to follow the the no contact rule, however, the key word must be one: consistency. The detachment must take place definitively and without "breaking the rules". All this for a single result: to understand, on both sides, if there are still possibilities for that relationship or not.
1. Before applying it, think: what is your ex like?
As the name implies, the no contact rule provides for a complete removal, which even consists in "eliminating those so-called" courtesy "calls or messages. For example, if you choose to follow this technique, you cannot ask the" ex partner how he is or wish him well if this break occurs during a holiday.
Given this total detachment, one needs to know if there is a person on the other side who can morally and emotionally endure all this. If it was the partner who broke the relationship or asked for a break, then there should be no problem.
Otherwise, applying the method of no contact to a particularly fragile individual or who is experiencing an already complicated situation, can have various repercussions, such as the development of the abandonment syndrome.
2. Do it all the way: no contact
Once it is understood that there are the right circumstances to apply the the no contact rule, you have to be consistent all the way. No more calls, messages or emails, but not even any social profile checks or questions to mutual friends about the ex. Maybe he did it because your relationship seemed particularly "symbiotic" and almost suffocating. Or maybe he chose this way because he feels a certain fear about the future or because of insecurity.
The fact is that by cutting off any form of contact you will respect his decision and, above all, he will really experience your absence from his life. If and when he starts to miss you, then it will almost automatically trigger that fundamental process to regain his love and his desire to be with you.
3. Focus on yourself
"From time to time it is good to take a break in our pursuit of happiness and simply be happy."
Guillame Apollinaire
However, a period of "absolute no contact" time can serve you as well, not just to win back your ex. Of course, detaching yourself from your loved one maybe after several years spent together is difficult, but it offers the possibility to focus more on yourself, on your personality and on your needs that sometimes take a back seat when you are absorbed in a love story. and from the couple relationship.
For this reason, if you are experiencing a moment of estrangement from your partner, think about yourself and don't focus only on the possibility that all of this will only serve to bring him back to you. His absence will help you clarify your ideas, understand what was wrong with your relationship and, above all, if you really want to get back together with him too.
The difference between no contact and ghosting
We wish to specify that this distancing is very different from that "attitude and phenomenon called" ghosting ". In fact, the technique of no contact is implemented following a breakup or, in any case, an agreed separation at the level of the couple. one of the two partners does not agree on this separation, but was nevertheless informed of the need of the other to eliminate, for some time, all forms of contact.
On the other hand, ghosting is an increasingly widespread "method", which always works to sever relationships with a person, but which consists in disappearing into thin air. All this occurs in a situation that is not necessarily a crisis in the relationship and without one of the two partners having decision-making power. A person victim of ghosting sees the other disappear completely from his life, without being able to contact him and without any explanation.
The no contact technique to remove a former partner (and not only)
As already mentioned at the beginning, no contact can also prove useful when you want to remove a person from your life, without any desire to win back. In this case, it is implemented by those who have chosen to end a relationship, in particular if the ex is still too morbid and does not seem to want to respect any of the decisions made at the time of separation.
In this context, the former partner was informed of the will to end the relationship, but continues to want to reconnect. Very often all this occurs in the presence of a so-called "narcissistic" person who has been accustomed to a series of attentions for the duration of the relationship and who, now, finds himself without anyone at his disposal. Similarly, no contact proves effective in moving away from toxic contexts or in which one has been a victim of emotional dependence.
