Happy couple: all the secrets to living a healthy and lasting love
Love and happiness are often considered synonymous. At least on paper. In reality, however, this is not always the case. There is still too little talk about it, but toxic loves and dysfunctional relationships are always around the corner and can destroy a person, compromising their serenity for a long time. Unfortunately, to date, the recipe for the perfect relationship has not yet been found, however there are some "ingredients" that you can draw on to improve your life as a couple. By virtue of this, we have decided to collect some practical tips that you and your potential partner should treasure every day of your life together to be able to make yourself truly happy.
Watch this video and find out what the prerequisites are for living a healthy and happy love story.
Communicating ... and knowing how to listen.
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The first secret to being a happy couple - which is not so secret - is surely knowing how to communicate. Good communication is the basis of any functional and functioning relationship, be it friendship or love. If you are going through a moment of crisis, you have difficulties at work or problems with yourself, do not close yourself up but talk about it openly with your partner. On the contrary, the unspoken and the implications as well as the suppressed frustration can permanently compromise the relationship and lead to dire consequences, one above all the betrayal. On the other hand, however, there must also be a partner who knows how to listen to your words and treasure them to help preserve harmony in the life of a couple, being by your side whatever happens.
Trust each other
It is an established fact that, in the absence of trust, a relationship between two people cannot last for a long time. Trusting each other and vice versa is an essential condition if you want to make the relationship work. Jealousy and constant suspicions, often in the absence of evidence, about the loyalty of the partner or the authenticity of his feelings can lead to real obsessions, inevitably leading to the end of the relationship. If you feel like you're with someone you can't trust, it's almost useless to carry on the story. While, if trust issues arise from your unresolved traumas and a deep fear of abandonment, try to work on yourself, including by consulting a subject matter specialist, before diving into relationships that you are clearly not ready for. or. In general, the advice we give you is to be with people who embrace your fears and take them apart piece by piece, until you feel completely safe.
Accept the changes
Change is an integral part of our life. Invest in ourselves and our relationships. Love, friendship, family, school and work, our existence is in constant evolution as well as our feelings and bonds. It is impossible to think and, above all, to expect that the relationships we undertake remain unchanged over the years. One of the rules to ensure that life as a couple works and is not scratched by the passage of time is to accept the changes and periods of crisis that follow. Whenever our lives are upset or undergo small changes, it is inevitable that the consequences are also the relationship with our partner. It is in those moments that you need to ponder your feelings for a long time and, only if you are still alive, prepare to face everything together, side by side. So we just have to accept once and for all that the butterflies in the stomach are not imperishable and that the relationship, to grow and evolve, will never remain the same.
Go to bed together, without necessarily sleeping together
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When we are in love with someone, we look forward to being able to sleep with that person. Both to enter into intimacy, and to share moments of tenderness, confidence and fun before falling asleep. However, over the years, bed sharing can turn into a real nightmare and jeopardize the serenity of the relationship. Just think of your partner snoring loudly every night. So, if you find yourself in this situation, we recommend that you resort to what has been dubbed as the "sleep divorce". This expression refers to the unanimous decision of many couples to sleep in separate rooms. This practice, now more and more in vogue, has proved for many an effective solution to the problems that sleep deprivation brought to the couple. You and your partner, for example, could initially go to bed together, so as to carve out a moment for yourself at the end of the day, and then go "separate ways" just before falling asleep. In this way you could enjoy all those benefits that go to bed together and an excellent quality of sleep.
Having common interests
Having common interests is another pillar with which to build a happy and lasting relationship. This doesn't mean that you and your partner have to be soul mates through and through, but it's really hard to imagine that a relationship can really work out if you both enjoy doing completely different things. The sharing of interests and passions affects above all the way in which the couple decides to spend their free time. If the activities you would like to dedicate yourself to are totally irreconcilable and you are, therefore, forced to make continuous compromises, thus giving up your personal happiness, you should seriously consider whether it is worth continuing or if, on the contrary, it would be more appropriate to go separate ways.
Believe in the same values
In addition to sharing interests, it is important that in a couple there is also a total, or almost complete, communion of values. Values are the set of precepts according to which we decide to set up and lead our existence. It goes without saying, therefore, that it is almost unthinkable to make life plans and imagine one's future together with an individual whose values clash with one's own. To avoid unpleasant surprises, start testing the waters right away, asking some simple questions (like these) that will help you understand if that person is for you or is the case to stop starting.
Cultivate your independence
The secret of happy couples? Carve out moments only for yourself. Being with someone does not imply that you have to spend all your time with that person, sticking them like a mussel to your own rock. To make the relationship work, it is necessary to cultivate one's independence, dedicating oneself to activities that go beyond the life of a couple: go out with your friends, give yourself a day all to yourself, pursue your dreams and cultivate your passions. If your partner really loves you, and vice versa, they will be happy to see you live your life even in their absence.
Knowing how to defuse
To live a story in the spirit of serenity and carefree, avoid turning everything into a conflict. When something bothers you, before exploding in a fit of anger against your partner, try to evaluate if it is really that important or if it is It is possible, for once, to let it go. This advice mainly concerns the most stupid and trivial matters, so it is absolutely not worth discussing and spoiling one's mood.
Speaking openly about your needs (even in bed!)
Shake off once and for all the belief that the perfect companion must be a psychic who can read your mind. Unfortunately, I am sorry to inform you that at the moment no one is gifted with this superpower and that, if you want something from your partner, you will be forced to communicate it explicitly. Whether it's going to take out the trash when the bucket is full, lowering the toilet seat every time you go to the bathroom, organizing a weekend at the beach or doing that particular thing you love so much in bed, don't expect the other person to always get there alone. Once again, the watchword is always and only communication!
Physical contact
Touching, touching, kissing: even after years of your first meeting, it is of fundamental importance to maintain physical contact. These simple gestures, which go beyond sex, will help you feel united and in harmony just like the first day.
See also: Couple tattoos: ideas for a tattoo full of love!
Be solved
As rhetorical as it may sound, in order to love others you must first learn to love yourself. Fears, insecurities, unresolved issues will only undermine the success of the relationship, leaving painful aftermaths in both components of the couple. This is why, before plunging headlong into a love story, it is important to resolve all our inner torments. Only in this way will we be ready to love and let ourselves be loved.
Consider couples therapy
Sometimes, when commitment and goodwill are not enough, you need to find the courage to ask someone for help, such as a psychotherapist. Thanks to his skills in psychology, he will be able to provide you and your partner with the right support to deal with moments of crisis and the solutions with which to overcome them.
