A mother's moving (and surprising!) Advice to would-be parents

Dear future parents,

I want to tell you that you really don't have the faintest idea of ​​what awaits you.

I am thrilled to be a mother. For real. My three loves give me - along with some headaches and occasional nervous breakdowns - infinite happiness and immense pride. I love being called "mom". I am never tired of kissing and cuddling (although they are often accompanied by snot). I love to see that my children's minds develop, I love to participate in the formation of their intelligence, in the construction of these adults in the making. It is a challenge and a mission that makes me happy and fills me with joy.

Even though I am madly in love with my children, and even though I sometimes adore motherhood, I look back with nostalgia on those days when I didn't have to look after anyone but myself. If someone claims that your life will be the same after your baby arrives, know that they are lying to you. It is a beautiful and good lie.

To tell the truth, everything changes. Absolutely everything. From the way you think, to the way you interact with the world and the people around you. Every decision you make, from your work to where you live, to what you eat, takes on new significance. Everything takes on a deeper meaning, each gesture takes on a new meaning.

The absurd thing is that you will enter this new life with impatience and fearlessness, while in reality your entire existence will be completely turned upside down. Of course, sometimes you will remember how it was before these little people became the masters of your life. But you will never go back.

So, before all of this happens, before your life gets terribly complicated (and awfully beautiful), I have some advice for you future parents. Here are some simple pleasures in life that you absolutely must enjoy while you are on time. Because in a few weeks, a few months or a few years, the activities below will completely disappear from your schedule.

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1. Watch a movie in the middle of the day

2. Listen to rock or rap music (basically whatever you want) loud in the car

3. Eat in a restaurant that does not have mashed potatoes and minced meat on the menu

4. Take a nap on an airplane trip

5. Being away from home after 9pm

6. Use your mobile phone, tablet or any other electronic device without having to hide (or without having to hide the device immediately afterwards)

7. Say "shit" where and when you want

8. Leave the house with only your keys and wallet

9. Read a book

10. Take advantage of free time after work (being a parent means working 24/7)

11. Have sexual intercourse throughout the day

12. Having sexual intercourse

13. Think only of yourself when you cross the road (in a few months you will be obsessed with crossing your child)

14. Having friends without children

15. Eat cookies in daylight, and not as if it were forbidden or as if you were a smuggler

16. Use your umbrella for yourself

17. Being sick. And stay in bed all day

18. Watch what you want on television

19. Dress in white

20. Pee with the bathroom door closed

21. Spend an entire weekend cuddling on the couch watching your favorite shows on television

22. Enjoying an existence that is not entirely based on body fluids

23. Shopping in less than an hour

I am convinced that one day I will be able to dress in white again. I will be able to doze off on the plane, snore and drool. I'll be able to sit on the sofa to catch up on all the episodes of How I Met Your Mother that I have never been able to see.

Until that day comes, I will live through you by proxy. And when it's your turn, I'll laugh while you enjoy these wonderful moments with your children. Just like I am doing now.

A happy mom